Jokes Thread

[ZRX61]

Sad News, today I attended a funeral of a good friend who was killed by a tennis ball. It was a lovely service...

Told that one to a couple I know today, guy just stared at me in confusion, his wife was in hysterics.

[MrLongbeard]

Little boy gets home from school and says, "Dad, I've got a part in the school play as a man who's been married for 25 years."

His Dad replies, "Never mind, son. Maybe next time you'll get a speaking part!!!"

[Taipan]

A good few of these floating around at the moment!

[Yorick]

A good few of these floating around at the moment!

IMG-20210419-WA0003.jpg (43.75 KiB) Viewed 1202 times

[Jody]

Peregrine falcons have a lifespan of about 17 years.
Therefore every Peregrine Falcon alive today was hatched since the turn of the century.
Therefore every Peregrine Falcon you might see is a Millennium Falcon !

[Taipan]

[Saga Lout]

[gremlin]

I'm nerdy enough to have laughed at that.

[Saga Lout]

I'm nerdy enough to have laughed at that.

I'm pretty sure you don't have to be nerdy to guess what the planes are called.

[cheb]

And pedantic enough to comment that there's only a singular Thunderbolt.

[KungFooBob]

And pedantic enough to comment that there's only a singular Thunderbolt.

If it was an A10 it would be a Thunderbolt 2, which is almost plural.

EDIT: That worked in my mind when I first typed it, now I'm not so sure.

[Pirahna]

If it was an A10 it would be a Thunderbolt 2

I've seen those on a live firing exercise, impressive. When they flew around and lined up on the people watching, fucking scary.

[Potter]

If it was an A10 it would be a Thunderbolt 2

I've seen those on a live firing exercise, impressive. When they flew around and lined up on the people watching, fucking scary.

I've seen them not on exercise and even though they're shooting at the baddies you still feel sorry for whoever is on the end of it, they're murderous things.

[Saga Lout]

If it was an A10 it would be a Thunderbolt 2

I've seen those on a live firing exercise, impressive. When they flew around and lined up on the people watching, fucking scary.

In the 70s, about 1972 or 1973, I was on a target towing boat in the North Sea. The boat towed a device that created a fountain of water as a target for aircraft to shoot at. I can't say I was scared but watching a Buccaneer heading straight for you and firing it's rockets is certainly impressive.

[Jody]

If it was an A10 it would be a Thunderbolt 2

I've seen those on a live firing exercise, impressive. When they flew around and lined up on the people watching, fucking scary.

I've seen them not on exercise and even though they're shooting at the baddies you still feel sorry for whoever is on the end of it, they're murderous things.

Literally exactly what they were designed to be !

[Potter]

Literally exactly what they were designed to be !

I was sat at a US base in Qatar for a while back in another life and I even winced when I saw them take off, because I knew some poor fucker was in for a really bad day.

[Horse]

Literally exactly what they were designed to be !

I was sat at a US base in Qatar for a while back in another life and I even winced when I saw them take off, because I knew some poor fucker was in for a really bad day.

The first training that I did with the USAF was at RAF Bentwaters. I mentioned to one of the others something about the planes and he said "have a look at this ... ". Next to the training room we were using was the area where they trained the crews who maintained the guns. Entire gun & ammunition mechanism on an enormous trolley.

canopylow.jpg (15.84 KiB) Viewed 963 times

[KungFooBob]

it's not a gun, it's a GAU-8 Avenger Auto Cannon.

I'm not a saddo for knowing that, right?

[gremlin]

it's not a gun, it's a GAU-8 Avenger Auto Cannon.

I'm not a saddo for knowing that, right?

You've out-nerded all of us.

Impressive!

[Ditchfinder]

/** Comes in looking to see a new joke, backs away quietly when he realises they're still being plane geeks **/

Do we need a new Jokes thread if this one is broken ?