Jokes Thread

General chat topics, anything and everything you want or need to discuss
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

431074889_804464181714815_5375109010444823898_n.jpg
431074889_804464181714815_5375109010444823898_n.jpg (54.62 KiB) Viewed 659 times
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15962 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Went swimming today. Needed a piss badly so went to the deep end. Lifeguard noticed and blew his whistle so loud I nearly fell in!
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

I just said "No comment" all the way through the police interview.
I didn't get the job.
Top
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6196 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

20240311_080006.jpg
20240311_080006.jpg (339.52 KiB) Viewed 608 times
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Top
User avatar
Yambo
Posts: 2470
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 8:08 pm
Location: Self Isolating
Has thanked: 598 times
Been thanked: 1647 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yambo »

***Breaking news!***

A 9 year old girl has disappeared after using moisturising cream that makes you look 10 years younger.
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15962 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Image
Top
User avatar
Yorick
Posts: 16742
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
Location: Paradise
Has thanked: 10269 times
Been thanked: 6887 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yorick »

One for @gremlin
1710423828843.jpeg
1710423828843.jpeg (45.58 KiB) Viewed 519 times
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

431450878_901640285036960_2838994286213801376_n.jpg
431450878_901640285036960_2838994286213801376_n.jpg (64.1 KiB) Viewed 494 times
Top
JackyJoll
Posts: 3731
Joined: Sun May 03, 2020 10:11 pm
Has thanked: 261 times
Been thanked: 1266 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Saga Lout wrote: ↑Sat Mar 02, 2024 10:48 am
Horse wrote: ↑Sat Mar 02, 2024 9:57 am My mate drinks brake fluid. Lots of brake fluid, every day.

I think he's addicted.

He says he can stop anytime he wants.
Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?
That’s discrespectful.
Top
Saga Lout
Posts: 1841
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 3:38 pm
Location: North East Essex
Has thanked: 566 times
Been thanked: 756 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Saga Lout »

JackyJoll wrote: ↑Fri Mar 15, 2024 8:14 am
Saga Lout wrote: ↑Sat Mar 02, 2024 10:48 am
Horse wrote: ↑Sat Mar 02, 2024 9:57 am My mate drinks brake fluid. Lots of brake fluid, every day.

I think he's addicted.

He says he can stop anytime he wants.
Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?
That’s discrespectful.
Two weeks, You is well slow innit. :lol:
Top
JackyJoll
Posts: 3731
Joined: Sun May 03, 2020 10:11 pm
Has thanked: 261 times
Been thanked: 1266 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Saga Lout wrote: ↑Fri Mar 15, 2024 9:10 am
JackyJoll wrote: ↑Fri Mar 15, 2024 8:14 am
Saga Lout wrote: ↑Sat Mar 02, 2024 10:48 am

Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?
That’s discrespectful.
Two weeks, You is well slow innit. :lol:
Yes I should have been here on the dot 3.
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15962 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Rearrange these 3 to make words.

1. PNEIS 2. BUTTSXE 3. TSSOER
Spoiler
Hopefully you got Spine, Subtext and Stores...
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

433870003_812363624258204_1628444638646075252_n.jpg
433870003_812363624258204_1628444638646075252_n.jpg (29.23 KiB) Viewed 719 times
Top
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13951
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15962 times
Been thanked: 10248 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell runs 8 miles in 15 seconds! :crazy:
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

434019254_907502384450750_3569009106766262288_n.jpg
434019254_907502384450750_3569009106766262288_n.jpg (32.68 KiB) Viewed 674 times
Top
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6196 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Felix wrote: ↑Sun Mar 24, 2024 10:21 am 434019254_907502384450750_3569009106766262288_n.jpg
From a covid warning poster during early 2020
20240324_105403.jpg
20240324_105403.jpg (136.37 KiB) Viewed 663 times
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Top
Felix
Posts: 3949
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
Has thanked: 485 times
Been thanked: 1428 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Felix »

Never mind bumming the chicken that shit swinging the clever has cut four of the woman's fingers off :shock:
Top
Saga Lout
Posts: 1841
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 3:38 pm
Location: North East Essex
Has thanked: 566 times
Been thanked: 756 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Saga Lout »

Felix wrote: ↑Sun Mar 24, 2024 11:01 am Never mind bumming the chicken that shit swinging the clever has cut four of the woman's fingers off :shock:
Erm...three. Unless you think she's from Norfolk.
Top
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11558
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6196 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Or she's left-handed and holding a small pistol?
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Top
636mick
Posts: 945
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 10:34 am
Location: In my village
Has thanked: 1079 times
Been thanked: 721 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by 636mick »

c0abdee8-8373-4081-aa61-1df4e57efcb8.jpeg
c0abdee8-8373-4081-aa61-1df4e57efcb8.jpeg (137.86 KiB) Viewed 578 times
Top

Return to “GENERAL MAYHEM”