Jokes Thread

[Saga Lout]

My mate drinks brake fluid. Lots of brake fluid, every day.

I think he's addicted.

He says he can stop anytime he wants.

Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?

That’s discrespectful.

Two weeks, You is well slow innit.

[JackyJoll]

Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?

That’s discrespectful.

Two weeks, You is well slow innit.

Yes I should have been here on the dot 3.

[Taipan]

Rearrange these 3 to make words.

1. PNEIS 2. BUTTSXE 3. TSSOER

Spoiler

Hopefully you got Spine, Subtext and Stores...

[Felix]

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[Taipan]

They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles.
Who the hell runs 8 miles in 15 seconds!

[Felix]

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[Horse]

434019254_907502384450750_3569009106766262288_n.jpg

From a covid warning poster during early 2020

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[Felix]

Never mind bumming the chicken that shit swinging the clever has cut four of the woman's fingers off

[Saga Lout]

Never mind bumming the chicken that shit swinging the clever has cut four of the woman's fingers off

Erm...three. Unless you think she's from Norfolk.

[Horse]

Or she's left-handed and holding a small pistol?

[636mick]

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[weeksy]

[KungFooBob]

...and 20 B&H.

[Horse]

Iffy unless you're absolutely sure colleagues aren't carrying guns

[Sadlonelygit]

c0abdee8-8373-4081-aa61-1df4e57efcb8.jpeg

I'm not criticising the post, but when the submarine imploded, jokes about that were considered to be in bad taste and it kicked off.
Then there was the Hawaiian island that caught fire, again people made jokes about that but nobody moaned.
Now at least 10 dead with a wayward ship, and that's considered fair game too.
Could somebody explain to me what level of double standards we're using, just to be on the safe side!

[MrLongbeard]

standards we're using

The uncle albert rule

[636mick]

c0abdee8-8373-4081-aa61-1df4e57efcb8.jpeg

I'm not criticising the post, but when the submarine imploded, jokes about that were considered to be in bad taste and it kicked off.
Then there was the Hawaiian island that caught fire, again people made jokes about that but nobody moaned.
Now at least 10 dead with a wayward ship, and that's considered fair game too.
Could somebody explain to me what level of double standards we're using, just to be on the safe side!

If I’ve upset anyone with posting a joke, I apologise, it wasn’t my intention. I found it funny but appreciate others may not.
To understand where my humour comes from, I was called into work early tonight to attend a serious RTC on the A5, not a pleasant scene, I won’t go into details but it’s on the news sites. Left there to go to a second serious incident on the A43, again not pleasant. My way of dealing with these is humour. Sometimes misplaced but it’s what we do.

If I have upset anyone please tell me and I’m happy to take the original post down, or an admin can as I’ll hopefully be asleep.
Stay safe all
Mick.

[Pirahna]

c0abdee8-8373-4081-aa61-1df4e57efcb8.jpeg

I'm not criticising the post, but when the submarine imploded, jokes about that were considered to be in bad taste and it kicked off.
Then there was the Hawaiian island that caught fire, again people made jokes about that but nobody moaned.
Now at least 10 dead with a wayward ship, and that's considered fair game too.
Could somebody explain to me what level of double standards we're using, just to be on the safe side!

If I’ve upset anyone with posting a joke, I apologise, it wasn’t my intention. I found it funny but appreciate others may not.
To understand where my humour comes from, I was called into work early tonight to attend a serious RTC on the A5, not a pleasant scene, I won’t go into details but it’s on the news sites. Left there to go to a second serious incident on the A43, again not pleasant. My way of dealing with these is humour. Sometimes misplaced but it’s what we do.

If I have upset anyone please tell me and I’m happy to take the original post down, or an admin can as I’ll hopefully be asleep.
Stay safe all
Mick.

It's fine, leave it there.

[Count Steer]

Could somebody explain to me what level of double standards we're using, just to be on the safe side!

Gallows humour has been around as long as there's been gallows.

Dunno about the other mods but I'm not planning on being an arbiter of good taste/humour. If I was, half this thread would vanish.

If people kick off and 'problem post' stuff because they're genuinely upset or there's eg a racial/racialist aspect it's a bit different.

I suspect the level of indignation with things sometimes tracks what's being said on the main social media platforms.

[Taipan]

Yup, Brits are pretty famed for gallows humour. I remember Jim Davidson saying when that terrible Tsunami hit on boxing day, the waves couldn't have even subsidised before his phone was pinging with tsunami text jokes, but typically the Brit people contributed way more than most other countries in aid contributions.