Jokes Thread

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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Apparently, people used to tie lamps to horses so they could find their way in the dark. It's the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by DefTrap »

Felix wrote: Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:13 am FFS a 70's joke wins best joke

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland- ... e-66569215
Edinburgh Fringe is apparently a way in to the lucrative Christmas-Cracker-joke-writing racket. Bring back Alternative Comedy.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by gremlin »

I made a Belgian waffle this morning.


And Frenchman talk utter bollocks this afternoon.


I'll get my fringe coat....
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Trinity765 »

:?
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Dodgy69 »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Demannu wrote: Sat Aug 26, 2023 12:52 pm FB_IMG_1693046750777.jpg
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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

Not sure of your point here?
Horse wrote: Sat Aug 26, 2023 1:58 pm
Demannu wrote: Sat Aug 26, 2023 12:52 pm FB_IMG_1693046750777.jpg
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Demannu wrote: Sun Aug 27, 2023 9:25 pm Not sure of your point here?
Horse wrote: Sat Aug 26, 2023 1:58 pm
Demannu wrote: Sat Aug 26, 2023 12:52 pm FB_IMG_1693046750777.jpg
Image
Compare it to Trump. Big hair, forward tilt.
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

What do you call a sheep tied to a post in Wales... a leisure centre.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

Horse wrote: Sun Aug 27, 2023 9:36 pm
Demannu wrote: Sun Aug 27, 2023 9:25 pm Not sure of your point here?
Horse wrote: Sat Aug 26, 2023 1:58 pm Image
Compare it to Trump. Big hair, forward tilt.
Smiling and not incarcerated
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by David »

Demannu wrote: Mon Aug 28, 2023 12:01 pm
Horse wrote: Sun Aug 27, 2023 9:36 pm
Demannu wrote: Sun Aug 27, 2023 9:25 pm Not sure of your point here?
Compare it to Trump. Big hair, forward tilt.
Smiling and not incarcerated
But still dead.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

I'm not one for posting serious stuff, but now more than ever I need your advice. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs, the phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.Also very secretive with her mobile , always texting etc

My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'Just some friends from work, you don't know them.' I always try to stay awake to look out for her coming home, but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. Around midnight, I decided to hide in the garage behind my motorbike so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.

It was at that moment, crouching behind my motorbike that I noticed it has a hairline crack where the fairing meets the tank

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the shop where I bought it?

TIA 👍
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ant »

Sounds like the shit they would print in The Sun jokes section.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Ikea dog kit assembly *fail*
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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

My wife just accused me of never taking notice of her and buying her flowers. She has a point as I never even knew she sold flowers!