- 20230805_093353.jpg (174.99 KiB) Viewed 618 times
Jokes Thread
-
Horse
- Posts: 14232
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
- Location: Always sunny southern England
- Has thanked: 7622 times
- Been thanked: 5930 times
-
Dodgy69
- Posts: 7522
- Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 6:36 pm
- Location: Shrewsbury
- Has thanked: 2852 times
- Been thanked: 3505 times
-
cheb
- Posts: 5463
- Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2020 6:51 am
- Been thanked: 2730 times
Re: Jokes Thread
They missed off 'Mr. "You're Wrong"'.
He says from Harrogate, Nice place, but for the surrounding county. If only they could move it south west a bit, maybe down near Bristol.
-
Taipan
- Posts: 19334
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 20859 times
- Been thanked: 13679 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Yorick and his Mrs walked past a new restaurant that had just opened. Yorick's Mrs remarked how nice the food smelt. Being a kind-hearted Yorkshirman Yorick thought, "What the hell, i'll treat our lass", and he walked her past it again!
NC750X mpg 
-
Yorick
- Posts: 19931
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
- Location: Paradise
- Has thanked: 12607 times
- Been thanked: 8537 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Taipan wrote: Fri Aug 11, 2023 3:37 pm Yorick and his Mrs walked past a new restaurant that had just opened. Yorick's Mrs remarked how nice the food smelt. Being a kind-hearted Yorkshirman Yorick thought, "What the hell, i'll treat our lass", and he walked her past it again!
-
Demannu
- Posts: 1882
- Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 5:14 pm
- Location: Another day without using algebra
- Has thanked: 65 times
- Been thanked: 1234 times
Re: Jokes Thread
How was it in jail son?
Asked his concerned mother
I was raped!
Said her son, sobbing.
Well, Uncle Gerald does take monopoly seriously!
Asked his concerned mother
I was raped!
Said her son, sobbing.
Well, Uncle Gerald does take monopoly seriously!
-
Yorick
- Posts: 19931
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
- Location: Paradise
- Has thanked: 12607 times
- Been thanked: 8537 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Morris an 84 year old man went to his doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a beautiful young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later , the doctor saw Morris again for a follow up and said You're doing great aren't you?
Morris replied just following your instruction doc to get a hot momma and be cheerful.
I didn't say that, I said you have a heart murmur and be careful..
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a beautiful young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later , the doctor saw Morris again for a follow up and said You're doing great aren't you?
Morris replied just following your instruction doc to get a hot momma and be cheerful.
I didn't say that, I said you have a heart murmur and be careful..
-
MrLongbeard
- Posts: 6351
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 2:06 pm
- Has thanked: 779 times
- Been thanked: 3216 times
-
Yorick
- Posts: 19931
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 8:20 pm
- Location: Paradise
- Has thanked: 12607 times
- Been thanked: 8537 times
-
Demannu
- Posts: 1882
- Joined: Sat May 08, 2021 5:14 pm
- Location: Another day without using algebra
- Has thanked: 65 times
- Been thanked: 1234 times
-
Horse
- Posts: 14232
- Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
- Location: Always sunny southern England
- Has thanked: 7622 times
- Been thanked: 5930 times
-
gremlin
- Posts: 7856
- Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:12 pm
- Location: Kent (AKA God's own country)
- Has thanked: 1102 times
- Been thanked: 5881 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Mrs. Gremlin just stopped and said to me, 'You weren't even listening to me, were you?'
I thought to myself, 'That's a pretty funny way to start off a conversation'.
I thought to myself, 'That's a pretty funny way to start off a conversation'.
Remember Anne Diamond!
-
Taipan
- Posts: 19334
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 20859 times
- Been thanked: 13679 times
Re: Jokes Thread
I spotted an albino Dalmatian the other day. I thought it was the least I could do...
NC750X mpg
-
Felix
- Posts: 5238
- Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2021 12:34 am
- Has thanked: 714 times
- Been thanked: 2040 times
-
Taipan
- Posts: 19334
- Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
- Location: Essex Riviera!
- Has thanked: 20859 times
- Been thanked: 13679 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Apparently, people used to tie lamps to horses so they could find their way in the dark. It's the earliest known form of saddle light navigation.
NC750X mpg
-
DefTrap
- Posts: 4740
- Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 8:23 am
- Has thanked: 1838 times
- Been thanked: 1468 times
Re: Jokes Thread
Edinburgh Fringe is apparently a way in to the lucrative Christmas-Cracker-joke-writing racket. Bring back Alternative Comedy.Felix wrote: Tue Aug 22, 2023 8:13 am FFS a 70's joke wins best joke
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland- ... e-66569215
-
gremlin
- Posts: 7856
- Joined: Wed Jul 08, 2020 3:12 pm
- Location: Kent (AKA God's own country)
- Has thanked: 1102 times
- Been thanked: 5881 times
Re: Jokes Thread
I made a Belgian waffle this morning.
And Frenchman talk utter bollocks this afternoon.
I'll get my fringe coat....
And Frenchman talk utter bollocks this afternoon.
I'll get my fringe coat....
Remember Anne Diamond!
-
Trinity765
- Posts: 2823
- Joined: Fri Nov 06, 2020 2:27 pm
- Location: Brighton
- Has thanked: 3138 times
- Been thanked: 3188 times
