Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[gremlin]

Mrs. Gremlin has relatives in Dorset. Pretty, but fuck me it's a boring place to be. Bournemouth is OK for a night out. Only one, mind.

[Druid]

Is there any other region in the UK where they have a derogatory term for visitors ?

The Welsh-speakers probably do, just that the rest of us have no idea what it is.

Saeson

hth

[Horse]

Is there any other region in the UK where they have a derogatory term for visitors ?

The Welsh-speakers probably do, just that the rest of us have no idea what it is.

Saeson

hth

'Englishmen', is that it?

[Mussels]

So you live in a tourist destination and complain there are tourists?

I have a mate who is originally from Cornwall and does a lovely impression of his fellow Cornishmen in his thick West Country burr:

"Bloody tourists coming down here, blocking the roads, causing traffic mayhem, parking everywhere, making our lives a misery...
What's that, m'dear? Two creams teas? That'll be £18.95 and can I interest you in some fudge for just £9.99?"

As you can tell, he's quite dismissive of what he calls the 'Kernow mob' and their calls for independence.

Cornish 'independence' is a joke, but the current situation is not funny at all.

Governments of all flavours are pretty well dominated by big city thinking. It is all about London and to a lesser extent Birmingham and Manchester. All rural areas get the shitty end of the stick, and the further away you are the shittier it is. Add in a pandemic, lots of social media exposure, and we get burried every summer by visitors without the infrastructure to cope. In summer it can take an hour or more for an ambulance under blue lights to get to hospital, never mind the wait for it to arrive and than the handover delay because the hospital is full. Can you wonder that most of the Cornish who are not tied to hospitality get a bit short with visitors?

Add in the buy to let AirBNBs, and the 2nd homes and we have a serious housing problem. The village where I live has multiple £1M new builds available, but the chance of them being bought by a local is miniscule. Big housebuilders plaster the place with horrible little boxes, but very few end up housing real locals, some of the developers market their estates in Surrey rather than Cornwall.

I don't have a solution, but we do have a problem, so don't expect every Cornishman to welcome you with open arms when you turn up in your massive Chelsea Tractor, park in stupid places, and expect us fawn over your every whim. If you try to fit in you will have a better chance, but moaning because you have to walk 400 yards to the beach is not going to win you any favours.

After going there in tourist season I can understand the gripes, I never want to experience that ever again but at least it's an easy choice for me.
My pity is rather limited as Cornish people seem very willing to sell their land for a quick profit.

[Yorick]

F'ing emmets!
No less than 3 local forecourts are dry of diesel at the moment. It is Friday pm innit, and all those huuuge 4x4s are filling up for the great trek back to Brum/Manchester/wherever. All main roads were rammed earlier today, with the M5 southbound clogged with the next installment.
Oh how we do love holidaymakers down in Cornwall!

So you live in a tourist destination and complain there are tourists?

I have a mate who is originally from Cornwall and does a lovely impression of his fellow Cornishmen in his thick West Country burr:

"Bloody tourists coming down here, blocking the roads, causing traffic mayhem, parking everywhere, making our lives a misery...
What's that, m'dear? Two creams teas? That'll be £18.95 and can I interest you in some fudge for just £9.99?"

As you can tell, he's quite dismissive of what he calls the 'Kernow mob' and their calls for independence.

Some locals here get a bit pissed off, then remember how much money tourism brings in

[Druid]

The Welsh-speakers probably do, just that the rest of us have no idea what it is.

Saeson

hth

'Englishmen', is that it?

[Horse]

Sorry, what I meant was: "is that the best you've got?" Nothing like 'emmets' or 'grockels'?

To be fair, what the Cornish call 'comeovers' the Welsh used to call 'an opportunity for a big blaze'.

[Count Steer]

Sorry, what I meant was: "is that the best you've got?" Nothing like 'emmets' or 'grockels'?

To be fair, what the Cornish call 'comeovers' the Welsh used to call 'an opportunity for a big blaze'.

Didn't the majority of the fires turn out to be common or garden thieves covering their tracks by torching the places they robbed rather than the 'Friends of Glendower'?

[Horse]

Sorry, what I meant was: "is that the best you've got?" Nothing like 'emmets' or 'grockels'?

To be fair, what the Cornish call 'comeovers' the Welsh used to call 'an opportunity for a big blaze'.

Didn't the majority of the fires turn out to be common or garden thieves covering their tracks by torching the places they robbed rather than the 'Friends of Glendower'?

No idea. My main memory is

[DefTrap]

Add in the buy to let AirBNBs, and the 2nd homes and we have a serious housing problem. The village where I live has multiple £1M new builds available, but the chance of them being bought by a local is miniscule. Big housebuilders plaster the place with horrible little boxes, but very few end up housing real locals, some of the developers market their estates in Surrey rather than Cornwall.

My SILs ex lives in woolacombe, unremarkable little ex council bungalow on a post war estate. Stones throw from the beach, so it's worth a decent chunk of change, way more than it should be. He should flog it now and when he does absolutely it'll be Airbnbd like half the rest of the village.

[DefTrap]

Arses. I think I have COVID again. Avoided for three years and then twice in six weeks.

[Fraser]We're aaaaalll doooooomed![/Fraser]

[Demannu]

You know when you think 'that's not sitting quite right, I'll just straighten it up'
Had to repair SWMBO front tredder tyre and after reassembly the valve stem was a bit squiffy, guess which muppet re punctured it when popping the tyre back on again!
Arsebiscuits!

[Greenman]

Buses.

The 4am didn't turn up, then the 4:15am didn't come so i had enough and booked an uber and just as the uber arrived the bus turned up.

Wasted a precious hour and a half of my raving night waiting for buses - foolish!...

Show me the Bacon!

I took a bus about a year ago in London as it appeared more convenient than The Tube.

Initially I thought it might be a fun experience, like something on a Carry On film. Within 30 seconds however I realised the bus was not efficient and nor frequently used by life's winners or those free from mental health problems.

There were about another 5 people on the bus stop who seemed to be used to the cancelled buses. I was speaking to a few of them who were saying it is quite normal for 2 or 3 not to turn up at that time in the morning.

This being the case, why don't they just re-timetable the buses so that they are maybe every hour instead of every 15 minutes so they actually turn up, that way they won't have customers sitting there waiting for ages for buses that do not turn up!

[Rockburner]

Buses.

The 4am didn't turn up, then the 4:15am didn't come so i had enough and booked an uber and just as the uber arrived the bus turned up.

Wasted a precious hour and a half of my raving night waiting for buses - foolish!...

Show me the Bacon!

I took a bus about a year ago in London as it appeared more convenient than The Tube.

Initially I thought it might be a fun experience, like something on a Carry On film. Within 30 seconds however I realised the bus was not efficient and nor frequently used by life's winners or those free from mental health problems.

There were about another 5 people on the bus stop who seemed to be used to the cancelled buses. I was speaking to a few of them who were saying it is quite normal for 2 or 3 not to turn up at that time in the morning.

This being the case, why don't they just re-timetable the buses so that they are maybe every hour instead of every 15 minutes so they actually turn up, that way they won't have customers sitting there waiting for ages for buses that do not turn up!

IIRC the "3 turn up at once" thing is due to the fact that it takes time for customers to get on and off. If you have a succession of bus stops with greater than average numbers of people getting on - it delays the first bus repeatedly as customers get on (and pay etc). That then delays the 2nd bus (it's waiting for the first bus to get out of the way at each stop), and pretty soon the third one comes along and is delayed by the other two - but becuase the capacity of the first two busses is never completely filled up (because some poeple are always getting off), the 3rd bus tends to be empty or very lightly used.

HOWEVER - take away the 3rd bus from the schedule... and there suddenly isn't capacity on the entire network for all the passengers.

[Demannu]

This being the case, why don't they just re-timetable the buses so that they are maybe every hour instead of every 15 minutes so they actually turn up, that way they won't have customers sitting there waiting for ages for buses that do not turn up!

Bus companies don't schedule the timetables, councils do. Bus companies get 'fined' if they don't run any scheduled buses, however, the wages they'd have to pay a night driver probably outweigh the fine, so no skin off their nose.
Blame brizzel County Council ( whatever they now call it now).

[DefTrap]

Local officials. Has so much potential for being a really great solution. On-the-spot thoughtful decision making and holding of purse strings by local people. But so often it ends up being led by your typical shouty and wavy-armed arseholes with zero problem solving or people skills.

No, I can't be arsed to have a go myself.

A friend of mine was "asked to be a JP". There don't seem to be any qualification requirements in the UK. In this case presumably she was selected for her ability to never draw breath in her conversation. Fairly sure her husband nominated her.

[Greenman]

This being the case, why don't they just re-timetable the buses so that they are maybe every hour instead of every 15 minutes so they actually turn up, that way they won't have customers sitting there waiting for ages for buses that do not turn up!

Bus companies don't schedule the timetables, councils do. Bus companies get 'fined' if they don't run any scheduled buses, however, the wages they'd have to pay a night driver probably outweigh the fine, so no skin off their nose.
Blame brizzel County Council ( whatever they now call it now).

Bristol Crappy Council is the latest name i think...

[Bigjawa]

Sorry, what I meant was: "is that the best you've got?" Nothing like 'emmets' or 'grockels'?

To be fair, what the Cornish call 'comeovers' the Welsh used to call 'an opportunity for a big blaze'.

My cousins are mad Welsh nationalists, they once sent me a t shirt with a burnt bungalow on it and the caption read "Red sky at night, Englishman's cottage alight"

This being the case, why don't they just re-timetable the buses so that they are maybe every hour instead of every 15 minutes so they actually turn up, that way they won't have customers sitting there waiting for ages for buses that do not turn up!

Bus companies don't schedule the timetables, councils do. Bus companies get 'fined' if they don't run any scheduled buses, however, the wages they'd have to pay a night driver probably outweigh the fine, so no skin off their nose.
Blame brizzel County Council ( whatever they now call it now).

Over here at least, the scheduling is done by the actual company, by people in offices who don't know the routes, hence its a complete shit show.

[gremlin]

My cousins are mad Welsh nationalists

I'm thinking of starting a 'London Independence Party'. I reckon financially we'd be in clover without all the provincial hangers-on.

All we'll need to do is declare independence and then fortify the M25 to keep the yokels out. Obviously we'd need cheap labour from outside, so Taipan might be given residence status.

[Greenman]

My cousins are mad Welsh nationalists

I'm thinking of starting a 'London Independence Party'. I reckon financially we'd be in clover without all the provincial hangers-on.

All we'll need to do is declare independence and then fortify the M25 to keep the yokels out. Obviously we'd need cheap labour from outside, so Taipan might be given residence status.

You'll be ok without the fortification of the M25, no-one wants to get into London, only out...