Jokes Thread

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Trinity765
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Trinity765 »

Margaret Keenan who was the first person in the UK to receive the Pfizer vaccine has woken this morning feeling great. She said "I have no idea why I can't get my Shoei NXR on today but I am looking forward to a safe Christmas with my family".
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JackyJoll
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Saga Lout wrote: ↑Tue Dec 01, 2020 9:54 am 10mm? Why is it marked ".../32"?

:?: ;)
Well 13/32” is as near to 10 mm as a kick in the arse.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

A what what?

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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The Martian
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by The Martian »

If anyone has suggestions to fix the condensation problem I have in my kitchen, please pop round and have a look, the kettles always on :thumbup:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by derek badger »

What's yellow and really needs a shit?

Must turd.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Trinity765 »

:think:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Advances in obstetrics.

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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I didn't know whether to put this in Survival Skills or Jokes. I'm not a feminist and have, what is now, very old fashioned views of male and female roles. I celebrate our differences.

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JackyJoll
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Too long didn’t watch.
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Trinity765
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Re: Jokes Thread

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JackyJoll wrote: ↑Sat Dec 12, 2020 11:15 pm Too long didn’t watch.
Summary. Men and women's brains are different. When men talk about a subject, they talk about that subject only. Women's brains are a big ball of wire, powered by emotion and everything is connected to everything - there is no subject. I thought it relevant because I have a tendency to take things off topic. Soz :crazy: It's told in a humorous way.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by cheb »

I've married a man then, and I've a woman's brain.

There's a greater variation within male and female traits than there is variation between the groups.
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Re: Jokes Thread

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cheb wrote: ↑Sun Dec 13, 2020 11:49 am I've married a man then, and I've a woman's brain.

There's a greater variation within male and female traits than there is variation between the groups.

You show me your crochet and I'll show you my mitre saw :P

And if I refer to my oscillating tool it's not a euphemism - oi!
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by slowsider »

A man and a woman were traveling in a train.

Woman : Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.

Man : Are you single?
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Woman : No, I am a Dentist....
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