Jokes Thread

General chat topics, anything and everything you want or need to discuss
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11559
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6198 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

There are very few jokes about sugar.

Brown sugar?

Well, Demerara
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
User avatar
ChrisW
Posts: 2724
Joined: Thu Feb 10, 2022 8:46 pm
Has thanked: 2915 times
Been thanked: 2060 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by ChrisW »

Horse wrote: Sat Nov 16, 2024 1:35 pm There are very few jokes about sugar.

Brown sugar?

Well, Demerara
Took me a minute.
Sadlonelygit
Posts: 958
Joined: Thu Mar 19, 2020 9:10 pm
Has thanked: 86 times
Been thanked: 691 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Sadlonelygit »

In french, transgender is masculine
User avatar
Horse
Posts: 11559
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2020 11:30 am
Location: Always sunny southern England
Has thanked: 6198 times
Been thanked: 5088 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Customer walks into a sex shop. Says to the manager: "I want a dildo".

Manager says: "Of course, choose one from the wall display."

Customer says "I'll have the red one, please."

Manager asks "Errrr ... Do you need to put out a fire too?"
Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
Ian
Posts: 372
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2023 9:25 am
Has thanked: 600 times
Been thanked: 319 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Ian »

"Oh I'll have the tartan one then"

"That's my Thermos!"
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13953
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15967 times
Been thanked: 10249 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

User avatar
weeksy
Site Admin
Posts: 23430
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 12:08 pm
Has thanked: 5452 times
Been thanked: 13097 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by weeksy »

Image
User avatar
Skub
Posts: 12173
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2020 5:32 pm
Location: Norn Iron
Has thanked: 9835 times
Been thanked: 10148 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Skub »

weeksy wrote: Fri Nov 22, 2024 11:21 am Image
Yeahbutt,he also let on Mrs Noah,Shem,Ham and Japheth,plus Mrs Shem,Mrs Ham and Mrs.Japheth. :P
"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
Walt Whitman
https://soundcloud.com/skub1955
User avatar
Count Steer
Posts: 11830
Joined: Mon Jul 19, 2021 4:59 pm
Has thanked: 6381 times
Been thanked: 4763 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Count Steer »

Skub wrote: Fri Nov 22, 2024 1:27 pm
weeksy wrote: Fri Nov 22, 2024 11:21 am Image
Yeahbutt,he also let on Mrs Noah,Shem,Ham and Japheth,plus Mrs Shem,Mrs Ham and Mrs.Japheth. :P
Only 'cos the giraffes, orangutans and lions were rubbish at being crew. :D
Doubt is not a pleasant condition.
But certainty is an absurd one
.
Voltaire
User avatar
Pirahna
Posts: 1951
Joined: Wed Mar 25, 2020 7:31 pm
Has thanked: 1817 times
Been thanked: 1166 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Pirahna »

User avatar
DefTrap
Posts: 4504
Joined: Tue Apr 14, 2020 8:23 am
Has thanked: 2267 times
Been thanked: 2193 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by DefTrap »

weeksy wrote: Fri Nov 22, 2024 11:21 am Image
I think we should train animals to use modern weapons, then judge just how naturally peaceful they are. ;)
User avatar
Taipan
Posts: 13953
Joined: Sat Mar 14, 2020 1:48 pm
Location: Essex Riviera!
Has thanked: 15967 times
Been thanked: 10249 times

Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

As the weather is getting colder, make sure to ask your Evri delivery driver if he'd like a hot drink. When he says yes, drop kick it over a fence into your neighbour's garden & tell him you've left it in a designated safe space...

Image