Depression

[Felix]

Probably be able to do the same job in the likes of Aviemore. Bit less of the white stuff and need to suffer jocks. Its not the sleepy little town i worked in back in 85.

[Noggin]

Wouldn't moving back to the UK to a country with English, the NHS and other benefits for a couple of years help ? It'd make employment easier, conversation easier and deffo would make certain aspects of treatment easier (potentially), you'd also be closer to people you know and know you. Sure you'd be away from the mountains, but you'd be less alone than you are now.
You'd also have the benefit that riding in the UK is a shit load easier than the mountain passes and if you choose your location well, you wouldn't really have to anyway.

Where you've chosen as your base makes things ultimately a lot harder ?

TBF, with the NHS I would be completely disabled on the arm- I was told at the time of the first op that with the prosthesis I have now I wouldn't be able to use my arm, only lessen the pain. The rehab here is amazing and has kept me physically going - 2 - 3 physio sessions a week covered by the health care and my insurance. I would be far worse off physically had I stayed.

Also, sadly, I don't seem to have the same contacts as I used to in the uk, my family is not communicative and the friends I used to see have all moved on (downside of being the only single person in a group, was always a challenge anyway, but 7 years later I doubt I'd find a way back in)

The biggest thing is that the UK no longer feels like home to me when I visit - ok, language is less of an issue, but I'm not convinced anything else would be better.

In December I'll be on a decent permanent contract that I'll have until I can't drive/work in an office - I basically have to deal with the shit for another 3-4 months and all will be fine. And actually, here does feel like home. I've just never been good at making close friends (social skills aren't great) and with the lack of a bike for a few years, I lost my 'easy' way to meet people and make friends. And TBF, I really only saw proper friends in the UK at trackdays/bike meets - I won't be doing track days for another year at best, but would also need to earn a decent amount which I won't in the uk, along with the housing being cheaper here.

The friend I spoke to yesterday had an interesting point because I said this is so weird as I was always fine alone, liked it, my best friends were always my internet weirdo friends in my computer; but suddenly it seems like a real issue and I'm struggling to live in a way I always liked just fine. She reckons that with covid, the 'option' to be alone was taken away. Those of use that lived alone were totally alone and it was no longer a choice. She thinks that has had an effect - weird as for the most part I either enjoyed the quiet or was in a rehab centre!!


I do think that this spiral has just been because since March I have been dealing with serious stuff badly. Mostly because I'm on my own but partly because I get so stressed that I physically can't deal with life admin. Facing up to it is good but also stressful. So things are just feeling worse and scarier. But I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel - selling my place and getting the permanent contract are the big things. Just tough to deal with alone

I'll get over it I'm sure, just having a hard time at the moment xx

[Skub]

I’ve read this several times today, Nogs, and each time I’ve not been able to think of anything useful to say - lots of meaningless platitudes which wouldn’t help. So I haven’t said anything, which doesn’t help either! Is there anyone you can actually talk to about it - ideally in English - just to be a listener, even if no more than that? All we can do here is read, and empathise, but I think you could do with more than that. Big hugs anyway…. We’re here, and on your side.

This sums it up perfectly from my perspective too. I'd never give advice on things like this,as I'm not qualified,but the lack of comment doesn't mean I don't care. There's no one in this community likes to see a member suffering,we all wish the best for you Nogs.

[Noggin]

Just to clarify, moving back would be so far from easy. I have no property there, no one to go and live with, no vehicle, not even a bank account. Even my driving licence is now French. So so much hassle and stress involved, definitely not a simple solution.
Sorting life here will be simpler, just hard to do it alone

And I don’t think I’ll ever move countries alone again. Not to any country!!

@Skub thank you xx

[the_priest]

Been away from this for a while. My daughter has been through the mill, bounced from therapist to clinic to A&E to nearly being sectioned and now back to the clinic, and this time the right one. She is anorexic, autistic and depressive. But she was referred to the food disorder clinic, so I've been driving her out to appointments etc. Today she cuddled into my arms and cried, telling me she wanted to live, to enjoy life and to eat food again. We have been out shopping for what she needs for her refeeding programme (she has lost too much weight and her body is not used to food) so she can start eating again. This is the first bit of light we have had in a long time, my wife and I were struggling with what to do next, sectioning was a possibility for our baby girl, but now she is trying to turn a corner. I'm not sure how things will play out now, but there is a plan we are trying to stick to and will support her through it to the end. She looks so terribly wan and thin, it is horrifying and scares me utterly stupid. Yet as a father I have to let her know that things will work out, as a priest I call on my Lord for help. One day at a time, always find someone to talk to.

I am available on PM for people, if you are in Kent, I may be able to to do face to face. Take care, breathe deep, seek the light and remember to look up for a glimpse of beauty. You are loved.

[gremlin]

Been away from this for a while...

Wishing you, your daughter and the family well. The Gremlinette has had her issues in the past and as a parent (for me anyway) the feeling of not being able to heal your kid's problems and take the pain away is the worst part of it.

Better days are ahead.

[gremlin]

Capturing ever widening mental health issues, the Gremlinette has had a bit of a setback.
I mentioned that she had gone to Milan to see a concert with her boyfriend. I was pleased to hear she'd booked it, as travelling triggers her anxiety: the whole not being able to get off if needs be, etc. Sod's Law dictates she has a tummy bug on the flight out, meaning she's in and out of the aircraft's loo, much to her deep embarrassment. Cue constant stressing about coming home.
On the return leg I knew she would be bad, and her boyfriend was messaging saying she was crying the night before, saying she couldn't get on the plane, etc. To his credit, he handled it really well, letting airport and cabin crew know the situation, and they both said the staff were excellent.
Anyhow, they both got home, we didn't have fly to Milan (shame, never been!) to collect her but she's now saying she'll never fly again.
My fear is that she doesn't confront these fears and her world shrinks ever smaller.
We've booked sessions of CBT and hypnotherapy, having persuaded her to give it another go. She's had counselling previously, which she claims was useless, but I think it's a trait of Gen Z that they expect an instant positive result with no effort required. Trying to gently explain that it will only yield results if she puts into action the exercises discussed.

Baby steps forward.

[Yorick]

Capturing ever widening mental health issues, the Gremlinette has had a bit of a setback.
I mentioned that she had gone to Milan to see a concert with her boyfriend. I was pleased to hear she'd booked it, as travelling triggers her anxiety: the whole not being able to get off if needs be, etc. Sod's Law dictates she has a tummy bug on the flight out, meaning she's in and out of the aircraft's loo, much to her deep embarrassment. Cue constant stressing about coming home.
On the return leg I knew she would be bad, and her boyfriend was messaging saying she was crying the night before, saying she couldn't get on the plane, etc. To his credit, he handled it really well, letting airport and cabin crew know the situation, and they both said the staff were excellent.
Anyhow, they both got home, we didn't have fly to Milan (shame, never been!) to collect her but she's now saying she'll never fly again.
My fear is that she doesn't confront these fears and her world shrinks ever smaller.
We've booked sessions of CBT and hypnotherapy, having persuaded her to give it another go. She's had counselling previously, which she claims was useless, but I think it's a trait of Gen Z that they expect an instant positive result with no effort required. Trying to gently explain that it will only yield results if she puts into action the exercises discussed.

Baby steps forward.

Last time I flew from uk was 3 years ago. As soon as I walked into Gatwick airport I saw all the people and queues and burst into tears.
Penny was with me, but was staying in UK for a bit longer.
She knew I wouldn't be able to cope alone, so she'd booked me the assisted help boarding thingy. The lady saw what a mess I was in and they took me to a nice quiet area of the airport.
Most folk in there were physically disabled, some very badly so.
I looked OK from the outside but a mess inside. They treated me well.

But when a few of us were taken to the boarding gate in a buggy, I could sense some folk looking at me as though I was a fraud.

But without that assistance, I couldn't have made it to the plane.


Maybe book it for young Gremmers?

[Taipan]

Sad the "Not every disability is visual" campaign didn't get wider recognition. I used to deal with basic disability issues years ago, things like providing coloured paper for dyslexics, toilet passes for crohn's (and other illnesses) sufferers, checking the (back then) DDA compliance issues. I was amazed at how quick people would get pretty nasty if someone was using a resource, facility or seeking assistance and they wasn't wheelchair bound.

[gremlin]

Maybe book it for young Gremmers?

Certainly something we look into. Ta.

I'd much rather we sorted her issues at source, though. There's clearly something that's triggered it, as she used to be super confident. Now we're seeing avoidance tactics used to dodge discussions or us trying to help. Her first session with the hypnotherapy guy is tomorrow and we wanted to talk about it, reiterate the need to engage, etc. So last night, she stays around a friend, just to avoid talking about it. Frustrating, but trying to keep it low-key otherwise that becomes a trigger for anxiety. Ad infinitum....

[Taipan]

Not wishing to cast aspersions, but how well do you know her boyfriend? Confidence loss can be a sign of an abusive partner in some cases...

[Yorick]

Maybe book it for young Gremmers?

Certainly something we look into. Ta.

I'd much rather we sorted her issues at source, though. There's clearly something that's triggered it, as she used to be super confident. Now we're seeing avoidance tactics used to dodge discussions or us trying to help. Her first session with the hypnotherapy guy is tomorrow and we wanted to talk about it, reiterate the need to engage, etc. So last night, she stays around a friend, just to avoid talking about it. Frustrating, but trying to keep it low-key otherwise that becomes a trigger for anxiety. Ad infinitum....

I'd assumed that I'd never be cured so have lots of coping mechanisms and avoidance strategies.
My enduro pals are very supportive when we encounter difficult terrain that I can't ride across.

But only this morning Pen suggested hypnotherapy, and gonna look into that.

[gremlin]

Maybe book it for young Gremmers?

Certainly something we look into. Ta.

I'd much rather we sorted her issues at source, though. There's clearly something that's triggered it, as she used to be super confident. Now we're seeing avoidance tactics used to dodge discussions or us trying to help. Her first session with the hypnotherapy guy is tomorrow and we wanted to talk about it, reiterate the need to engage, etc. So last night, she stays around a friend, just to avoid talking about it. Frustrating, but trying to keep it low-key otherwise that becomes a trigger for anxiety. Ad infinitum....

I'd assumed that I'd never be cured so have lots of coping mechanisms and avoidance strategies.
My enduro pals are very supportive when we encounter difficult terrain that I can't ride across.

But only this morning Pen suggested hypnotherapy, and gonna look into that.

I'll let you know how it goes for Gremlinette. It worked for Mrs. G many years ago*, who suffered the same anxiety issues that the Gremlinette has now. Hard to believe that a woman who runs a very successful business now, wouldn't get on a 'plane and used to wake up in a panic, convinced she's left the delivery doors at her employers unit unlocked. We had to drive there at 3am, and of course they were locked. She wouldn't queue in a supermarket if somebody was behind her, as she felt 'trapped'. Motorways were a no-no too.
Of course, she's now having the guilt trip that somehow she's passed it down in her genes, which is complete bollocks, but kids do have a habit of messing parents up, big time.

*That, and being married to a super guy, such as me.

[Noggin]

Maybe book it for young Gremmers?

Certainly something we look into. Ta.

I'd much rather we sorted her issues at source, though. There's clearly something that's triggered it, as she used to be super confident. Now we're seeing avoidance tactics used to dodge discussions or us trying to help. Her first session with the hypnotherapy guy is tomorrow and we wanted to talk about it, reiterate the need to engage, etc. So last night, she stays around a friend, just to avoid talking about it. Frustrating, but trying to keep it low-key otherwise that becomes a trigger for anxiety. Ad infinitum....

I don't think it can always be sorted 'at source' until coping mechanisms are in place. Everyone is different though. But having coping mechanisms in place would be my first step and then work out the source (if there is one)


I have always been terrified of flying - can get myself on a plane and off, but the taking off and landing (and any turbulence in between) can reduce me to floods of tears in seconds. Once I'm off the bloody thing, I'm fine. It's very very weird. I've had so very many people explain to me how and why the bastard machines are safe (from flying info, accident stats and the physics of how they stay up there), but I have to gear myself up every single time. Doesn't help that I pretty much always fly alone, so no one to hold my hand

[Yorick]

Anyone tried hypnotherapy?

A couple of girls here used a guy and both stopped smoking in 2 session.

Then he moved back to UK.
But another girl we know paid him and lost 2 stones. But took 6 sessions.

I've researched and it can work for anxiety.
But. And a big But.

I'm sceptical anyway, but I'll keep an open mind. Will that stop me going under?

2nd but, how can someone 2,000 miles away put me into a trance?

Is it smoke n mirrors crossed with magic beans?

[gremlin]

Not wishing to cast aspersions, but how well do you know her boyfriend? Confidence loss can be a sign of an abusive partner in some cases...

Her anxiety pre-dates Josh.

[gremlin]

So this morning, Mrs G and Gremlinette are booked on a train to Manchester to pick up the keys to the flat share for year 2 of uni. I get out of the shower and Mrs. G shows me a late night Snap from Gremlinette, explaining she's feeling anxious, hasn't slept, doesn't want to get on the train. Notwithstanding, I make her a coffee and tell her to get in the shower as there's a train to catch. I drop them both at the station, come back and take the mutt for a walk.
I come back to several missed calls and messages. To cut a long story short, Gremlinette is crying on the train up to London, sweating, hyperventilating, etc. Net result being she is coming home and Mrs. G is left going up to Manny to sort out the flat. Mrs. G has been messaging to say, 'Don't be angry, I know what she's going through', but, in full disclosure, I do get fucking angry but I can never let the kid see that. It's so frustrating to see somebody so smart and sassy suddenly become frightened of getting on a fucking train or plane.
Mrs. G. is now very upset and I feel like my fucking head is going to explode.

[Treadeager]

Yorick was asking about hypnotherapy... Nobody could be more sceptical than me , but during a cabaret act some time ago , I was " put under " and the missus told me I was miles away , and putty in his hands . If you use a reputable service what's to lose ? Might even work for Gremlinette ? Good luck .

[Taipan]

Someone i knew finally quit smoking through hypnotherapy, but it did wear off and a refresher course was needed and they eventually become an evangelic non smoker! The cynic in me thinks the sneaky hypnotherapist date stamped his treatment time!

[Bustaspoke]

Someone i knew finally quit smoking through hypnotherapy, but it did wear off and a refresher course was needed and they eventually become an evangelic non smoker! The cynic in me thinks the sneaky hypnotherapist date stamped his treatment time!

When I was an apprentice one of the sparks had hypnotherapy to make him give up smoking,but,and this is a true story,he still wanted a social smoke when he went to the pub so he got the hypnotherapist to hypnotise him & allow him only to smoke when in the pub.The problem was that he then spent to much time in the pub...
He had to go back to the therapist & get re-programmed,no smoking anywhere