Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Taipan]

I may have read this on here (can't remember where so apologies if you've heard it).

Bloke phones in a crime. Gets the usual 'sorry no cars/manpower available'. Says 'Oh, don't worry, I've sorted it. I shot the bastard. I was just letting you know'.

Neeenawww! 5 cars, half the force there pronto.

Copper - 'You said you shot him!'
Bloke - 'And you said no cars/manpower are available'.

That always struck me as a good way to get banged up for "wasting police time".

If it actually happened, then yup. I think it's made up.

That one may have been, but I think it illustrates that telling a lie to get a response both works and happens.

[Mussels]

Another tactic, become a gobby politician that will make a lot of noise.
Woman arrested after drink thrown at Nigel Farage
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c6pp7yg0y3po

[Jody]

Working in central London, I have colleagues from most of the home counties. Seems most have lost faith in their local Police forces as most forces won't respond to crimes such as shoplifting, anti-social behaviour etc. They claim to respond to violent crime but the reality is often "they don't have an available car in the area".

It was a few years ago now (5?) I was told by a policewoman, how two of her colleagues were being physically attacked in Tavistock town on a Friday night, they radioed for help. It was 45 minutes before anyone was available to come to their aid. By which time, they'd both taken a right kicking. It's not just 'us' they don't have time / resources for nowadays.

[Taipan]

Didnt Theresa May get rid of 20000 police officers? Must be frustrating to be a well intentioned police officer working under those conditions.

[Sadlonelygit]

Clic-r hose clamps
Great in theory, not so good on their 10th or so use with ham fisted mechanics.
The big box of jubilee clips has come out!

[Noggin]

People on HOOOOGE tourers with pillion and luggage who want to ride really fast up a mountain road but in doing so seem incapable of staying their side of the white line even in the face of oncoming vehicles - ok, the oncoming vehicle was a bike, and I could move over a few inches but FFS!!

I fully expected to deal with oncoming cars on my side of the line, but really hadn't expected bikes to try and push my off the edge of my side of the line!!!

Don't get me started on having to wait for some bikes to take a hairpin uphill. I could see them arriving so they could see me, but still used all the road so I had to stop and wait!!

[Horse]

Didnt Theresa May get rid of 20000 police officers? Must be frustrating to be a well intentioned police officer working under those conditions.

https://fullfact.org/crime/police-offic ... t-numbers/

WHAT WAS CLAIMED
The government has reached its target of recruiting 20,000 more police officers in England and Wales.

OUR VERDICT
This is correct, based on the increase between 2019 and March 2023. But the rise follows a fall in the number of police officers in the years prior to 2017, and there are currently only around 3,500 more officers than in 2010.

[weeksy]

Motorbike wankers... There's a bit of a bombhole in a particular woods near me. Not much use for MTBs though in truth, but a lovely fast trail there.

Well it was a trail until it's been completely mullered for 800m and about 4m wide by dirt bikes, just complete slop, mess, massive ruts, bloody garbage. RIP really nice trail.

[Yambo]

Motorbike wankers... There's a bit of a bombhole in a particular woods near me. Not much use for MTBs though in truth, but a lovely fast trail there.

Well it was a trail until it's been completely mullered for 800m and about 4m wide by dirt bikes, just complete slop, mess, massive ruts, bloody garbage. RIP really nice trail.

But it gives you an opportunity now of practicing riding on less than perfect surfaces. That's got to be a good thing.

[Skub]

Motorbike wankers... There's a bit of a bombhole in a particular woods near me. Not much use for MTBs though in truth, but a lovely fast trail there.

Well it was a trail until it's been completely mullered for 800m and about 4m wide by dirt bikes, just complete slop, mess, massive ruts, bloody garbage. RIP really nice trail.

That'll be Tricky and his mates.

[weeksy]

Motorbike wankers... There's a bit of a bombhole in a particular woods near me. Not much use for MTBs though in truth, but a lovely fast trail there.

Well it was a trail until it's been completely mullered for 800m and about 4m wide by dirt bikes, just complete slop, mess, massive ruts, bloody garbage. RIP really nice trail.

But it gives you an opportunity now of practicing riding on less than perfect surfaces. That's got to be a good thing.

It was completely unrideable

[Sunny]

Audi.

Three months ago, the Q3 started giving us random error messages (modern cars - like driving a computer ), 'drive system fault, restriction to 4000 revs'. This would be cured by, guess what, turning the car off and on again

This became more and more frequent until three weeks ago when finally an engine light came on. Audi Roadside Assist man came round, plugged in his gear, and diagnosed a failing coolant piston valve.

Car goes in for a warranty repair, we get given an A4 to tit about in.

Today, Audi call me - your car is ready to collect. We couldn't get the fault to recurr, so we haven't done anything to it except clean it.

Guess what happened on my drive home from picking it up?

On the plus (?) side, without asking, or indeed mentioning it, they gave us swanky new floor mats and a pile of random Audi swag. Including, I shit you not, a teddy bear, that was strapped into the back seat That'll be going to charity in the morning

PXL_20240607_163355603.MP_copy_1701x3024.jpg (1.91 MiB) Viewed 306 times

PXL_20240607_175440794.MP_copy_3024x1701.jpg (976.12 KiB) Viewed 306 times

[Horse]

Audi.


Today, Audi call me - your car is ready to collect. We couldn't get the fault to recurr, so we haven't done anything to it except clean it.

Guess what happened on my drive home from picking it up?

Filly's little SEAT cut out, then flashed umpteen warnings. AA arrived, it fired up fine, the man wondered about a battery / charging fault. It cut out on me - completely dead, then the error messages flashing faster than you could read them. And that was immediately after a 40 mile drive to charge the battery.

It went into the main dealer (local specialist SEAT mechanic we used said 'No'). Two weeks later, Friday lunchtime, all sorted. Charging problem. We arranged to collect on Monday.

Monday morning, phones to confirm. "ah ... mechanic was taking it for final check drive.

It cut out, died completely, in the middle of a busy roundabout.

Long story short, we no longer have that car.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Imagine someone actually having to come out to diagnose what's wrong with the computers in your car. That's practically stone aged

It cut out, died completely, in the middle of a busy roundabout.

Long story short, we no longer have that car.

Cause and effect?

[Count Steer]

Audi.

Three months ago, the Q3 started giving us random error messages (modern cars - like driving a computer ), 'drive system fault, restriction to 4000 revs'. This would be cured by, guess what, turning the car off and on again

This became more and more frequent until three weeks ago when finally an engine light came on. Audi Roadside Assist man came round, plugged in his gear, and diagnosed a failing coolant piston valve.

Car goes in for a warranty repair, we get given an A4 to tit about in.

Today, Audi call me - your car is ready to collect. We couldn't get the fault to recurr, so we haven't done anything to it except clean it.

Guess what happened on my drive home from picking it up?

Is it diesel?

Under warranty? I thought you mentioned looking at VWs to replace your ageing Audi? 2 × Audis?

They kept giving me new courtesy cars inc a swish A4, (but never a Q) and they get more and more like a laptop/TV on wheels with more and more irritating 'driver aids' and 'information'.

(Never got a bear though ).

[Sunny]

Audi.

Three months ago, the Q3 started giving us random error messages (modern cars - like driving a computer ), 'drive system fault, restriction to 4000 revs'. This would be cured by, guess what, turning the car off and on again

This became more and more frequent until three weeks ago when finally an engine light came on. Audi Roadside Assist man came round, plugged in his gear, and diagnosed a failing coolant piston valve.

Car goes in for a warranty repair, we get given an A4 to tit about in.

Today, Audi call me - your car is ready to collect. We couldn't get the fault to recurr, so we haven't done anything to it except clean it.

Guess what happened on my drive home from picking it up?

Is it diesel?

Under warranty? I thought you mentioned looking at VWs to replace your ageing Audi? 2 × Audis?

They kept giving me new courtesy cars inc a swish A4, (but never a Q) and they get more and more like a laptop/TV on wheels with more and more irritating 'driver aids' and 'information'.

(Never got a bear though ).

Just the one Audi It's petrol. Under warranty. The fault is/was apparently a coolant piston valve.
It's also now had three replacement rear door lock mechanisms because of a child lock fault (yet another recurring error message). It'll be three at the end of September - I can't wait to get shot of it! I pity it's next owner.

Current replacement thinking is a diesel VW T-Roc 4 motion - I like the idea of something with some umpf, that being smaller and Golf-related might have better/more fun handling. But very much TBC. Today's test drive might change all that!

(Happily the commuter Focus Of Destiny is seven, diesel, and still absolutely fine. Oldest car I've had for years!)

[Skub]

The weather. Sigh.

Today was to be a dry,sunny day,so I got up early to head out on the bike for a while. It's cold and raining again,should have stayed in bed!

At least last year we had good weather up until the arse fell out around the middle of June,this year it's colder than March. I did more riding in February and March ffs.

Maybe I'll buy a 'Summer' project to get me through the worst months.

[Mr. Dazzle]

I was surprised to see that May was actually record warm! But also wet...

https://www.metoffice.gov.uk/about-us/n ... for-the-uk

[Horse]

It cut out, died completely, in the middle of a busy roundabout.

Long story short, we no longer have that car.

Cause and effect?

After the main dealer couldn't identify the fault, let alone sort it, Filly - justifiably - refused to drive it again. A complicated deal was done. She's happy with the replacement.

[ChrisW]

Ebay search, again...it's getting worse!