Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Count Steer]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

With this one you can extract a physical key from the fob and it unlocks the drivers door so you can open the bonnet. However, when I needed to use the actual physical key on my old Volvo, after umpteen years of disuse - because central locking, you just press a button y'know, - the actual lock barrel had totally seized*.

* Ooh! 'e' before 'i' and 'c' isn't the first letter! It's not like it's 's' that's the problem ''cos siege and sieve work. Don'tcha just love English?

[McNab]

Cars.

The 12v battery in the hybrid shopping trolley appears to have ceased to exist. It went flat in the first cold spell last year but jump started just fine. This time, nothing, zip, nada so we'll find out how good the 3 years European Assistance is (it's under 2 years old)...then in a few months (2nd birthday), it's gone.

Oh...and it's snowing.

It lives! A very, very nice man (a biker ) turned up...and I could track his approach so didn't have to stand around etc. The problem seems to be getting a good connection/earth when jump starting - dunno why, it worked last time. He struggled to get a good connection even with his NOCO 3000A booster. (The 12v battery is buried under the rear passenger seat so you have to connect to a +ve terminal in the fuse box). The battery check said the battery is OK but it was flat as a fart.

Lessons learned:

1. Don't keep your jump leads in the boot/hatch...if the battery is flat you can't get in. I had a second pair in the garage but if it had happened elsewhere...I did get the ones in the boot out as I found one of the rear doors would open but the other wouldn't and I got the rear seat down. I had to erm...edit the original, heavier duty, ones as there was so much 'safety plastic' on the clamps you couldn't actually get them to grip.

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

Lordy knows what would happen if you couldn't get any juice into it...how do you get the electric handbrake off to tow/load a car? Bah! Technology. Harrumph. That step-sided Chevvy looks more attractive every day.

PS I gave him a brew in an RTTL mug and pointed him at the site.

Don't get in and shut the door when you've opened it with a physical key. I was watching some fool on youtube the other day, his electric Porsche Taycan had a flat battery and he managed to get in with the key. Once he was inside he found the door handles inside were electronically connected and couldn't get out. After a bout of over-reaction he had to call his mrs and get her to let him out with the physical key in the spare fob.

[KungFooBob]

Wife's car bonged a couple of times to say the stability/ABS was unavailable. Read the code and it's the front left wheel speed sensor.

She insisted I took it work and she got my car (for her 4 mile commute compared to my 24 miles).

Well I got half way to work and it threw the fault again. It's quite an interesting car to drive in the wet when it's 3c on summer tyres.

I had now idea how much the stability/traction was working in the background until I didn't have it anymore.

Several times I tried to pull away from traffic lights and didn't go anywhere with the rear wheels spinning, you have to really nurse it.

Fortunately the local MB stealership keep them in stock and they're only £20.

It's if I can be arsed to roll around on the floor in the dark trying to change it when I get home.

Just spent an half an hour rolling around on the drive in the dark, using an old bedside lamp and my phone torch. It's a testament to MB (S Class anyway) build quality that everything came off and went back on easily. A quick error clear with Torque Pro and I have no more flashing lights!

All for £20.62.

I've a feeling the Nox sensor is on it's way out with an intermittent error, the parts guy quoted me just under £500 for one of them, gulp!

[Count Steer]

Just to round things off on the 'car is kaput' front. I phoned the rescue people and got an automated response which ended with Ms Robot sending an SMS with a link so I could request assistance on line. So, first of all it used my phone location to identify an address. An address 150+ yards down the road. Put in the registration, not recognised but the system knew the make, select model from drop-down menu...ah, it's not there as a hybrid version. Then in the drop-down options it didn't have 'car won't start and no dashboard display/lights etc' as an option.

After that it went pretty smoothly.

Chap arrives, looks at the (what looks like chaos to me) stuff under the bonnet and says 'Oh! It's a hybrid, haven't seen one of these before' - he meant the model (!), he'd seen a hybrid before, obvs. He was He confirmed that you can charge the battery by connecting to the +ve terminal in the fuse box and a good earth (I'd tried that initially but my Halfords charger said 'nope' - after he'd put some jolt into it and got it to 25%, charger said OK so I left it on charge at 2.0A for a couple of hours and will carry on with that tomorrow. I could up it to 4.0A or 8.0A but no rush). He printed out a battery report that says the battery is good but only 25% charged.

Overall, pretty pleased with the rescue stuff, but really the 'manufacturer' needs to get their ducks in a row and get the data out there (the thing doesn't exist on the mega Haynes almanac that these folk use) and when I took it in to the supplier for a recall on the 'Oops, crashed, phoning for help' thing they'd only had one in before. Sheesh, it's just a little Toyota in a Mazda frock! There's probably 10,000s of the Toyota version out there in the UK.

[The Spin Doctor]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

That's just ridiculous. At least I can open the driver's door with a key.

[Mussels]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

That's just ridiculous. At least I can open the driver's door with a key.

I have one of these emergency keys so I tried it when I bought the car, it works on the driver's door but not the boot. The battery is in the boot.

[Count Steer]

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.

That's just ridiculous. At least I can open the driver's door with a key.

I have one of these emergency keys so I tried it when I bought the car, it works on the driver's door but not the boot. The battery is in the boot.

Chances are, so are the jump leads.

I suspect the problem we're having is that when the battery was flat last year I jump started it and went for a drive then just used it. Then lots of short journeys - and it's never really got fully charged again. Although, when it went in for a recall they wanted it overnight to make sure the battery was fully charged...but I assumed at the time they meant the power battery rather than the 12v. Now, I'm not sure. (It was a software update that takes a long time. As it was to do with the emergency phone alert thingy I can only assume the update came over the mobile phone network. Software updates don't usually take long).

[KungFooBob]

Every vehicle I've had with a battery in the boot, or under the driver's seat in the case of the vans, have had charging posts under the bonnet.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Same here.

My old Ov Lov had two batteries, neither of which was easily accessible.

[KungFooBob]

Same here.

My old Ov Lov had two batteries, neither of which was easily accessible.

Most half modern cars with stop/start have two batteries.

The second smaller battery takes the strain of the radio and heated seats while the main battery is restarting the car when you set off.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Yeah from lesser brands based on shopping trollies sure.

Proper exec wagons have a nice big 48V job.

[Greenman]

Cyclists, again, i could put a post up like this daily tbh.

7.30am this morning, cyclist with no lights in black comes straight across me over a red light, i nearly hit him, he stops and shouts at me like i'm in the wrong, i refrain from getting out my car and ending his life as i just don't have any time for these idiots.

TBH next time i might just carry on and not even stop! - they don't seem to care, why should i?

[Cousin Jack]

I had problems a while back with my Lexus hybrid battery. The 12v in the boot is NOT a standard car battery, it is more akin to a leisure battery used in motor homes. It doesn't like being treated like a car battery and it sulks and dies if you whack it on fast chargers.

[Mr Moofo]

Cyclists, again, i could put a post up like this daily tbh.

7.30am this morning, cyclist with no lights in black comes straight across me over a red light, i nearly hit him, he stops and shouts at me like i'm in the wrong, i refrain from getting out my car and ending his life as i just don't have any time for these idiots.

TBH next time i might just carry on and not even stop! - they don't seem to care, why should i?

Brighton is inhabited by this self entitled arses. 300 puffa jackets and can't spent 15 quid on lights.
My experience was driving down a badly / diffracted light road, cyclist on black bike, black clothing , black hood - and no lights.

And I am a cyclist - but being a motorcyclist I just assume every car is trying to kill me

[MrLongbeard]

Bastard squirrels in the loft, noisy little sods.

[Count Steer]

Bastard squirrels in the loft, noisy little sods.

Hope the noise isn't gnawing. A friend had 'em and they were gnawing through the wooden loft structure.

(I suggested painting the woodwork with chilli paste )

[Greenman]

Bastard squirrels in the loft, noisy little sods.

Hope the noise isn't gnawing. A friend had 'em and they were gnawing through the wooden loft structure.

(I suggested painting the woodwork with chilli paste )

Little fuckers had been in my loft doing just this i think. They/it would come in a few times a day for a gnaw.

When i was there i could here the gnawing downstairs over the noise of the TV, i would go up open the loft hatch and shine a torch up there and they would run away.

I think they were coming off the tress next to my house as they had started growing over the top of the house, i got the trees lopped a few months back and now the little fuckers don't seem to be coming in, thank fuck, was driving me crazy especially at night!

[MrLongbeard]

Bastard squirrels in the loft, noisy little sods.

Hope the noise isn't gnawing. A friend had 'em and they were gnawing through the wooden loft structure.

(I suggested painting the woodwork with chilli paste )

It wasn't, but of late I suspect it is.
We're borrowing a humane trap (not my bloody idea) and see if we can evict it / them over the next week, if not a more permanent solution will be deployed.

[Pirahna]

Bastard squirrels in the loft, noisy little sods.

Hope the noise isn't gnawing. A friend had 'em and they were gnawing through the wooden loft structure.

(I suggested painting the woodwork with chilli paste )

It wasn't, but of late I suspect it is.
We're borrowing a humane trap (not my bloody idea) and see if we can evict it / them over the next week, if not a more permanent solution will be deployed.

Did you know it's illegal to release a trapped grey squirrel back into the wild, it must be humanely destroyed. Drowning isn't considered humane.

[Demannu]

Leaving your wallet in a pub on Saturday night when it doesn't re-open or even answer the phone until (so I've been told) til weds pm!
SFC in the middle of Wales!