Jokes Thread

Post by **Felix** » Sun Dec 10, 2023 6:31 pm

Someone flytipped their mattress outside my house.
I don't know how they sleep at night.

Post by **Skub** » Mon Dec 11, 2023 11:45 am

Post by **Taipan** » Mon Dec 11, 2023 11:49 am

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep pan, crisp and even...

Yambo · Post by **Yambo** » Mon Dec 11, 2023 12:29 pm

It's a tradition in my family to have a Christmas jumper.

I usually get the job of talking them down.

Post by **weeksy** » Mon Dec 11, 2023 8:03 pm

Post by **Felix** » Mon Dec 11, 2023 8:19 pm

I was bored so l swapped all the sweets into different wrappers.
My wife isn't amused, she got her Snickers in a Twix.

Demannu · Post by **Demannu** » Mon Dec 11, 2023 9:30 pm

Not saying things are tough financially now, but I opened my advent calendar door this morning and a bailiff was there.

Post by **Taipan** » Tue Dec 12, 2023 6:20 pm

Yorick · Post by **Yorick** » Tue Dec 12, 2023 6:34 pm

Taipan wrote: Tue Dec 12, 2023 6:20 pm

In Liverpool they don't have Sell By Dates
They have Steal by Dates

Post by **Horse** » Wed Dec 13, 2023 9:53 am

Post by **Felix** » Wed Dec 13, 2023 10:17 pm

A 3 foot 3 inch man knocked on my door this morning.
I said 'Who are you?'
He replied 'I'm the meter man'

Post by **Noggin** » Thu Dec 14, 2023 3:12 pm

Post by **Noggin** » Thu Dec 14, 2023 5:18 pm

Post by **Taipan** » Fri Dec 15, 2023 3:10 pm

Post by **Felix** » Fri Dec 15, 2023 8:39 pm

Post by **Mr. Dazzle** » Sat Dec 16, 2023 7:51 am

: there-once-man-cork-who-got-limericks-and-haiku-confused-classical-poet-domenico-fetti-c-1620-1621.jpeg (92.14 KiB) Viewed 1134 times

Post by **Taipan** » Sat Dec 16, 2023 1:19 pm

Post by **Count Steer** » Sun Dec 17, 2023 10:48 am

Post by **Felix** » Sun Dec 17, 2023 11:00 pm

I bought my daughter a handbag from Iraq.
She phoned to say 'Thanks for the Baghdad'

ZRX61 · Post by **ZRX61** » Mon Dec 18, 2023 3:37 pm

Started seeing a new gal....
She told me that size doesn't matter, but all her dildos look like they're missing a lampshade

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