Jokes Thread

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Bigjawa
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Bigjawa »

I was eating some chips at the seaside today when a bird swooped down, beat the shit out of me and stole my chips.

It was Steven Seagull....
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Jodys customer! :D

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Poor Howie! :lol:

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the toilet?































Because the P is silent! :lol:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

Have you ever met someone wearing Stone Island that isn't a massive wanker?
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Skub »

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"Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn't know what you know now."
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:lol:

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

KungFooBob wrote: Sat Nov 11, 2023 2:20 pm Have you ever met someone wearing Stone Island that isn't a massive wanker?
I've never even heard of stone island, which makes me feel like I've passed some sort of test. :D
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by KungFooBob »

Mr. Dazzle wrote: Tue Nov 14, 2023 1:55 pm
KungFooBob wrote: Sat Nov 11, 2023 2:20 pm Have you ever met someone wearing Stone Island that isn't a massive wanker?
I've never even heard of stone island, which makes me feel like I've passed some sort of test. :D
Jumpers with a silly button on arm patch, generally worn by a specific type of haircut.

You must not know many small time drug dealers or football hooligans.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Mr. Dazzle »

Yeah all the drug dealers I know wear pin stripe suits :think:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

What does a person with diarrhoea and an electric car owner have in common?

























They both hope they make it home... :D
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by mangocrazy »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

mangocrazy wrote: Tue Nov 14, 2023 3:15 pm Winging it.JPG
TBF, not sure that qualifies as a joke - it' pretty much the truth!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

I'm sure many have already seen this, but just in case........
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by mangocrazy »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:lol:

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Noggin »

:lol:

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Life is for living. Buy the shoes. Eat the cake. Ride the bikes. Just, ride the bikes!! :bblonde:
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

Bloody in jokes for the ex-pats clique! :thumbdown:
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