A right now thread

[Taipan]

My line manager left last week, now no one knows what to do with me. I fear a restructure coming on! I'll find out at 3...

[Taipan]

My line manager left last week, now no one knows what to do with me. I fear a restructure coming on! I'll find out at 3...

I'm golden! Phew!

[Count Steer]

My line manager left last week, now no one knows what to do with me. I fear a restructure coming on! I'll find out at 3...

I'm golden! Phew!

Of course you are. They know how ruthless the RTTL kneecap squad is and once you sent up the beacon with your previous post the result was never in doubt.

RTTL. Here to serve, here to crack skulls, here to grind bones to make flour from those that would inconvenience our favoured sons.

[David]

So, will I get this high powered job with Waitrose on tuesday?

[Count Steer]

So, will I get this high powered job with Waitrose on tuesday?

Hmm. High powered? Sharon White isn't stepping down just yet. Patience, patience.

(Can get you a shelf stacking job meanwhile?).

[David]

I suspect its nearer the shelf stacking bit than Ms Whites gig....

[Yorick]

It's so quiet here at night that any sound carries.
A noise just started like one of them huge generators.
Walked round house n garden and looked over wall into building plot next door.
Nada

Went to road and there's a bloody Harley about 200 yards up the road ticking over, warming up.

Came back and it sounds really loud on the patio.
Thank fark he's just set off.

[Taipan]

It's so quiet here at night that any sound carries.
A noise just started like one of them huge generators.
Walked round house n garden and looked over wall into building plot next door.
Nada

Went to road and there's a bloody Harley about 200 yards up the road ticking over, warming up.

Came back and it sounds really loud on the patio.
Thank fark he's just set off.

Quiet! Quiet! That'll all change when I move up the road. I'll be getting a band together, "Teguise Tai and the Taipanettes" and we'll be practicing regularly on the patio!

[Yorick]

It's so quiet here at night that any sound carries.
A noise just started like one of them huge generators.
Walked round house n garden and looked over wall into building plot next door.
Nada

Went to road and there's a bloody Harley about 200 yards up the road ticking over, warming up.

Came back and it sounds really loud on the patio.
Thank fark he's just set off.

Quiet! Quiet! That'll all change when I move up the road. I'll be getting a band together, "Teguise Tai and the Taipanettes" and we'll be practicing regularly on the patio!

And eating Jellio Eelios ?

[Taipan]

It's so quiet here at night that any sound carries.
A noise just started like one of them huge generators.
Walked round house n garden and looked over wall into building plot next door.
Nada

Went to road and there's a bloody Harley about 200 yards up the road ticking over, warming up.

Came back and it sounds really loud on the patio.
Thank fark he's just set off.

Quiet! Quiet! That'll all change when I move up the road. I'll be getting a band together, "Teguise Tai and the Taipanettes" and we'll be practicing regularly on the patio!

And eating Jellio Eelios ?

Si!!

[Felix]

Ding dong goes the door bell at 11:35pm. Looks at wife then hear feet running up my stairs. Up like a shot running to my top landing door expecting to kick ass or get a kicking (Pref the former) only to be greeted with the police asking me if i am Mr ****** ***********. Nope his mum lives in the next block. Sorry wrong hose as they run away again. Had a wee deek out the window and we have an ambulance two marked police cars and police standing with a battering ram. God knows what Mr ****** ********** has done but fingers crossed its jail time. He is the guy i am wating for a court case to start for mistaking my head for a recycle tub and chucked his wine bottle in it. Fuck its not even the weekend yet

[Taipan]

Wearing a trackie and drinking a pint in the ‘spoons at stansted! Classy!

[gremlin]

Wearing a trackie and drinking a pint in the ‘spoons at stansted! Classy!

A few years back the airlines sat down with MAG, who run a number of UK airports and said, 'Look, you get all the benefit of people spending money in the air-side pubs, we get all the bloody grief of pissed up passengers'. MAG then asked the alcohol retailers to sign up to a code of conduct, i.e. no serving people if they're half-cut or rowdy, and specifically, no serving 'double rounds', i.e. two pints per person. They all, including Weatherspoons, agreed to this...

A few weeks later Weatherspoons started selling beer in two-pint beer glass.

[Cousin Jack]

It will all end up with no alcohol airside. And no access to airside if they think you are even half tipsy.

I can live with that.

[Skub]

Favourite daughter had the pleasure of dealing with this one in the course of her duties.

Money wouldn't pay me.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... mpage.html

[MingtheMerciless]

Taking Dog 4 to vets as it looks like he's got an ear infection.

[Felix]

Discovered i can tell Alexa to turn on and off the TV. I think she is getting a bit sick of me now

[Noggin]

Favourite daughter had the pleasure of dealing with this one in the course of her duties.

Money wouldn't pay me.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... mpage.html

It really pisses me off that people can say - oh I'm a nervous flyer and took drugs and alcohol so I don't remember behaving like a psychotic bitch to anyone near me and it's not really my fault, it was the drugs and alcohol.

FFS - be a bit responsible. If you drink so much that you are incapable, or are stupid enough to mix prescription meds and alcohol, MTFU and accept the punishment as you are just an irresponsible and/or stupid fucker!!


(Possibly not the usual response, but hey ho - worked in too many bars and on too many doors with drunken arseholes to have much sympathy for arsehole drunks )

[v8-powered]

'Spoons Stansted Airport, eating the most expensive breakfast known to man

[Horse]

Ding dong goes the door bell at 11:35pm. Looks at wife then hear feet running up my stairs.

Had a wee deek out the window and we have an ambulance two marked police cars and police standing with a battering ram.

Sounds like you were lucky not to be using an emergency carpenter. But how did they get your door open?