A right now thread

[Yorick]

It's so quiet here at night that any sound carries.
A noise just started like one of them huge generators.
Walked round house n garden and looked over wall into building plot next door.
Nada

Went to road and there's a bloody Harley about 200 yards up the road ticking over, warming up.

Came back and it sounds really loud on the patio.
Thank fark he's just set off.

Quiet! Quiet! That'll all change when I move up the road. I'll be getting a band together, "Teguise Tai and the Taipanettes" and we'll be practicing regularly on the patio!

And eating Jellio Eelios ?

[Taipan]

It's so quiet here at night that any sound carries.
A noise just started like one of them huge generators.
Walked round house n garden and looked over wall into building plot next door.
Nada

Went to road and there's a bloody Harley about 200 yards up the road ticking over, warming up.

Came back and it sounds really loud on the patio.
Thank fark he's just set off.

Quiet! Quiet! That'll all change when I move up the road. I'll be getting a band together, "Teguise Tai and the Taipanettes" and we'll be practicing regularly on the patio!

And eating Jellio Eelios ?

Si!!

[Felix]

Ding dong goes the door bell at 11:35pm. Looks at wife then hear feet running up my stairs. Up like a shot running to my top landing door expecting to kick ass or get a kicking (Pref the former) only to be greeted with the police asking me if i am Mr ****** ***********. Nope his mum lives in the next block. Sorry wrong hose as they run away again. Had a wee deek out the window and we have an ambulance two marked police cars and police standing with a battering ram. God knows what Mr ****** ********** has done but fingers crossed its jail time. He is the guy i am wating for a court case to start for mistaking my head for a recycle tub and chucked his wine bottle in it. Fuck its not even the weekend yet

[Taipan]

Wearing a trackie and drinking a pint in the ‘spoons at stansted! Classy!

[gremlin]

Wearing a trackie and drinking a pint in the ‘spoons at stansted! Classy!

A few years back the airlines sat down with MAG, who run a number of UK airports and said, 'Look, you get all the benefit of people spending money in the air-side pubs, we get all the bloody grief of pissed up passengers'. MAG then asked the alcohol retailers to sign up to a code of conduct, i.e. no serving people if they're half-cut or rowdy, and specifically, no serving 'double rounds', i.e. two pints per person. They all, including Weatherspoons, agreed to this...

A few weeks later Weatherspoons started selling beer in two-pint beer glass.

[Cousin Jack]

It will all end up with no alcohol airside. And no access to airside if they think you are even half tipsy.

I can live with that.

[Skub]

Favourite daughter had the pleasure of dealing with this one in the course of her duties.

Money wouldn't pay me.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... mpage.html

[MingtheMerciless]

Taking Dog 4 to vets as it looks like he's got an ear infection.

[Felix]

Discovered i can tell Alexa to turn on and off the TV. I think she is getting a bit sick of me now

[Noggin]

Favourite daughter had the pleasure of dealing with this one in the course of her duties.

Money wouldn't pay me.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... mpage.html

It really pisses me off that people can say - oh I'm a nervous flyer and took drugs and alcohol so I don't remember behaving like a psychotic bitch to anyone near me and it's not really my fault, it was the drugs and alcohol.

FFS - be a bit responsible. If you drink so much that you are incapable, or are stupid enough to mix prescription meds and alcohol, MTFU and accept the punishment as you are just an irresponsible and/or stupid fucker!!


(Possibly not the usual response, but hey ho - worked in too many bars and on too many doors with drunken arseholes to have much sympathy for arsehole drunks )

[v8-powered]

'Spoons Stansted Airport, eating the most expensive breakfast known to man

[Horse]

Ding dong goes the door bell at 11:35pm. Looks at wife then hear feet running up my stairs.

Had a wee deek out the window and we have an ambulance two marked police cars and police standing with a battering ram.

Sounds like you were lucky not to be using an emergency carpenter. But how did they get your door open?

[v8-powered]

Sat in a meeting about passenger information systems, headset on pretending to be on Teams, listening to a Joe Marler podcast

[Pirahna]

Ding dong goes the door bell at 11:35pm. Looks at wife then hear feet running up my stairs.

Had a wee deek out the window and we have an ambulance two marked police cars and police standing with a battering ram.

Sounds like you were lucky not to be using an emergency carpenter. But how did they get your door open?

I think he lives in a flat and they're communal stairs.

[Horse]

In that case, good job he opened his door in time!

[the_priest]

Communicating with Church wardens for BT to have access to install a fibre point for the internet next week (on the day of the great move). They want access from 8am to 1pm and I am not able to cover the early point as the movers (and shakers) will be at my home them.

Heading to the vicarage just now for the delivery of the kitchen goods. They changed it last night from 9-1pm (which I requested and paid for) to 1-5pm... lots of shifting things around at the last minute, including the workers at the vicarage. So about to head there and get things sorted. Must take tools I think and a warmer jacket as there is no heating yet as boiler system has been drained down for servicing.

[636mick]

Replaced a ceramic cartridge in my kitchen tap to stop a drip. Simplest job ever, 1 minute and all done!!
Mick

[Yorick]

Too bloody hot to do anything. But I don't expect any sympathy from you lot

20231113_142132.jpg (698.97 KiB) Viewed 379 times

[Felix]

Ding dong goes the door bell at 11:35pm. Looks at wife then hear feet running up my stairs.

Had a wee deek out the window and we have an ambulance two marked police cars and police standing with a battering ram.

Sounds like you were lucky not to be using an emergency carpenter. But how did they get your door open?

Believe it or not i live in a decent area where most folk dont lock the doors till bed time. This arsehole they are after has not long moved into the area from Glasgow. By the amount of time the police have been at his door i dont think he will be here much longer

[Felix]

I think he lives in a flat and they're communal stairs.

Upper villa please My front door is ground level