Depression

[Buckaroo]

Potter's last comment has reminded me of some elements of a couple of workshops I used to run.

First off: without a a sense of control (direct or indirect) and predictability, anxiety will occur.

Then: only focus on things you can influence and not on things of concern. By focussing on the former, the latter is reduced.

If I had time and risked boring you all, I could write volumes about just these two principles.

But the meaning is self explanatory.

[Noggin]

IMO worry/anxiety through having no control, and no hope of fixing any problems, leads to depression, because if you spend all your time living on a knife edge then it's going to eventually drag you right down.

I don't disagree with this (or the rest of the post)

BUT

Not all depression is caused by anxiety. There are so so SOOOO many reasons/causes of depression



I've suffered in various forms all my life (well, I can remember feeling what I now know is depression in my early teens, so most of my life). Mostly I can 'manage' it and it doesn't take over. Riding bikes kept it at bay massively

The physical causes are (to me) the weird ones. These I am struggling to control. It's why I've not replied to post on this thread for awhile - if I can't control my issue and I can't be positive about my issue, I don't seem to have much to say that's positive for anyone else

My life is good. Things are going well. Future looks pretty great TBH - especially in comparison to the last 5 and a bit years! But I'm not happy. I am having to WORK at being positive - work really hard, which isn't normal. I KNOW things are positive, so why do I not feel that way. I know life is good, ok, it's not easy, but I've had five seriously shit/tough/difficult years and everything I've dealt with in that time could cause serious depression totally outside the fact that my brain seems to be wired that way anyway. But, if it's ok, even pretty good, why can I not BE positive.

Thing is that I do know the (probable) reasons. But it's difficult to get the balance needed with help from doctors on the things that aren't balanced. And that does piss me off. I'm not anxious about it. But I am pissed off! Equally, pissed off is a smidge better than sad or depressed - I think



EDIT - turns out there may be another medical issue (another FFS) that has similar symptoms to menopause. Just got to find out when I can see the doc and maybe I can get rid of the sads by curing the second medical issue FFS (Pretty sure they are connected, but FFS )

[DefTrap]

Everyone has their own malady or their own way of dealing with it.

Absolutely there's typically a pyramid of shite literally everyone is dealing with. Health issues are the worst ones and the ones you have least control of fixing. But absolutely as soon as you solve the most pressing issue the next assumes importance or a new one crops up.

I'm sure it's rare to be worry free.

[Docca]

What is the difference between anxiety and depression? My take on it is.......

Anxiety = worry about stuff

Depression = effed off about everything

What’s the difference?

My expensive specialist said there's a triangle.
One point stress.
Next depression.
Next anxiety.

They are separate but overlap a bit.

But no doubt the RTTL mental health expert will override my opinion.

If that’s me, then no I won’t ( nor am I a mental health expert).

Your conversations with your specialist are yours and not everyone is the same. It’s remiss to make absolute statements, such as ‘all depression is caused by this’ or ‘anxiety is a result of that’.

Correlation does not imply causation. For example; the cost of a therapist is relative to their knowledge.

Depression manifests itself in certain ways. It’s not always anger, it’s not always sadness and it’s not always lethargy. And other stuff.

Anxiety is easier ( it just is) because you deal with the behavioural response.

Beware any therapist that doesn’t review outcomes regularly from which to seek an improvement ( and discharge) schedule.

[Cousin Jack]

When I get depresed about something (usually something I have no control over) I sit down snd imagine the worst case scenario (eg house getting reposessed). Then I mentally plan my wsy out of that hole (and there always is a way out, hard but not impossible).
After that the origial problem, which is much less extreme than the worst case I have just imagined, doesnt seem so bad.

Works for me.

[Yorick]

This thread was interesting to me at first, but now it's too heavily moderated.

So I'm off

[weeksy]

This thread was interesting to me at first, but now it's too heavily moderated.

So I'm off

The thread was moderated to keep it purely on topic. If you'd like to discuss this via PM you're welcome to do so.

It's a sensitive subject and i moderate very very few topics, i could probably count on one hand the topics that have had it in the last year, but this one is worth keeping so people can discuss the issues without dragging it into something else entirely.

[Buckaroo]

What is the difference between anxiety and depression? My take on it is.......

Anxiety = worry about stuff

Depression = effed off about everything

What’s the difference?

My expensive specialist said there's a triangle.
One point stress.
Next depression.
Next anxiety.

They are separate but overlap a bit.

But no doubt the RTTL mental health expert will override my opinion.

If that’s me, then no I won’t ( nor am I a mental health expert).

Your conversations with your specialist are yours and not everyone is the same. It’s remiss to make absolute statements, such as ‘all depression is caused by this’ or ‘anxiety is a result of that’.

Correlation does not imply causation. For example; the cost of a therapist is relative to their knowledge.

Depression manifests itself in certain ways. It’s not always anger, it’s not always sadness and it’s not always lethargy. And other stuff.

Anxiety is easier ( it just is) because you deal with the behavioural response.

Beware any therapist that doesn’t review outcomes regularly from which to seek an improvement ( and discharge) schedule.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross model has some merit, especially if you have some idea of what triggered your depression.
I've got a couple of quite useful charts that help you to understand and potentially chart where you are at in terms of thinking, likely behaviour and progress.

I need to learn how to post things if there's an interest.

[Greenman]

I'm starting to think happiness doesn't just come from having everything you want, instead it comes from not having too much to do, or maybe in this case not too much to think about, worry about or conform to! Simple Living!

At the end of the day we all come from the same place and all have our own individual purpose in life, it's not up to anyone in any stage of their life or yours to judge when that purpose is applied! Just live and see what you are meant to be!

[Wscad]

I’ll be putting a post up about stress it’ll be a long read but I need to let you know what I’m going through. It’s a effing madhouse here at wscad house

[Wscad]

Here we go. I may have posted some info before so bear with me.

Here is the back room story.

My wife is the guardian of her cousins daughter. Teenager at Harrogate ladies college, boarding fees are 45k per term.

It’s half term so we have here in wscad house. We have looked after her for the last 2 years. During that time she has nearly had the kitchen on fire 3 times.

Every day is the same. She comes down from her bedroom at 11am . The gas cooker goes on with 5 rings on full tilt. Egg shells and flour, butter., and eff knows what all over the effing place.

Is this effing normal?

I’m not finished yet with this rant. More to come

[tricol]

happiness doesn't just come from having everything you want

I'd say you're absolutely right. Happiness does not come from material stuff, having a big house, loads of spare cash to buy whatever nonsense you want. People might say it helps, or that they couldn't do a certain lifestyle without it, but when you strip it back the happiness isn't about that at all. Depression effects everyone, from millionaires to the working man.

[Wscad]

Help needed. Even it’s a “hope it all goes well wscad”

[tricol]

Help needed. Even it’s a “hope it all goes well wscad”

Hope it does all go well!

[Mussels]

Help needed. Even it’s a “hope it all goes well wscad”

Does she resent being there, is this a deliberate protest designed to piss you off?

[Noggin]

Help needed. Even it’s a “hope it all goes well wscad”

I have no idea if it's 'normal' but hope someone can help make it go better! x

[Yorick]

happiness doesn't just come from having everything you want

I'd say you're absolutely right. Happiness does not come from material stuff, having a big house, loads of spare cash to buy whatever nonsense you want. People might say it helps, or that they couldn't do a certain lifestyle without it, but when you strip it back the happiness isn't about that at all. Depression effects everyone, from millionaires to the working man.

But if you have a generally happy life, it sets you up to cope better. When my anxiety kicks in, I look around to see what we've got and makes it a little easier to bear.
I'd rather be a bit poorly here than a but poorly in a flat in Bradford.

[Yambo]

Here we go. I may have posted some info before so bear with me.

Every day is the same. She comes down from her bedroom at 11am . The gas cooker goes on with 5 rings on full tilt. Egg shells and flour, butter., and eff knows what all over the effing place.

Is this effing normal?

If you remove the gas ring bits (top plate and spreader that is underneath), the gas ring won't light. Leave one available.

Remove the cooking ingredients to a place of your choosing and issue them to the lass on the terms that she won't get them again if she doesn't clear up after herself.

You and the wife need to be together on this disciplinary approach but in my experience people stop taking the piss when they become severley disadvantaged, regardless of the cost of their schooling.

[Wscad]

On we go.

She’s voice activated, will never start a conversation. A effing eating machine, wife did 14 spare ribs plus a load of veg.

Teen did 10 of the ribs plus most of the veg, then did a football sized water melon in less than 5 mins.

More to come

[Wscad]

Teen has just had mock a level results.

Manderin A. Well no surprise there as she is from China
maths c
Art c

Saturday wife and teen go shopping to Sainsbury’s.

Along with the shopping there is a 4ft high plastic sunflower.

When teen effs off to her bedroom I say to wife.....what’s with the sunflower?

Oh it’s for teens art project.

So teen gets into a bikini, fills the bath full of water, jumps and is fully submerged , eyes wide open holding a effing sunflower, wife takes around a 100 pics.

Is this effing normal?

By the way, I did not participate nor did I take part in the photo shoot

More to come