Jokes Thread

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JackyJoll
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

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slowsider
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by slowsider »

Taipan wrote: Sat Dec 18, 2021 3:50 pm Image
British say they will continue to refuse passage of small boats from Dunkirk if that should occur.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Olaf the Viking is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.

"What's the matter?" asks Olaf.

"Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets."

"No problem," says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you."

Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.

At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.

"I'd really like to thank you," says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, "but I don't even know who you are!"

Olaf just waves and walks off.

"I was really worried about you," comments the old lady's husband. "What have you been doing?"

"I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by MingtheMerciless »

41525904-54BA-4F2A-9A9C-F28E24A7E1A9.jpeg
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"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?"
"My dear Doctor, they're all true."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies."
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

:)


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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by weeksy »

Horse wrote: Sun Dec 19, 2021 5:07 pm 269035764_10217819744559917_8805725843141104035_n.jpg
Go straight to hell, do not pass go or collect £200
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

The 'joke' picture was on the web before the Guardian published theirs (although the Carrie doll isn't holding a baby)

Life imitating 'art'?
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by slowsider »

Oh noes! Not more politics!


;)
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

slowsider wrote: Mon Dec 20, 2021 9:06 am Oh noes! Not more politics!


;)
Well, allegedly it was a work meeting. So nice to now know that the country is being run by a bunch of half-pissed people including one who brings his OH into meetings. Oh and no notebooks, laptops or tablets in evidence, so no traceability or record keeping.

Oh, what? We knew all that already? ;)
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Yambo »

The Flat Earth Society are really worried that social distancing is going to end up pushing a few people over the edge.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by MrLongbeard »

Horse wrote: Mon Dec 20, 2021 9:53 am
slowsider wrote: Mon Dec 20, 2021 9:06 am Oh noes! Not more politics!

;)
Well, allegedly it was a work meeting. So nice to now know that the country is being run by a bunch of half-pissed people including one who brings his OH into meetings. Oh and no notebooks, laptops or tablets in evidence, so no traceability or record keeping.

Oh, what? We knew all that already? ;)
Fuck off and moan in the 1001 covid / brexit / politics / bozo threads and leave the jokes thread in blissful ignorance.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by DW. »

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by DW. »

This is actually pretty fucking correct for bogan bundaberg
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by DW. »

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by slowsider »

Renoir's 'No. 10 Business Meeting'

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stolen from elsewhere
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Horse »

Uh-oh, you're gonna get flamed :D
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