I followed a van on the way home, absolutely reeked of maryjuanna.

British Gas van.

I like going on my motorbike because it is free and it is a motorcycle show.

To put an advertising sign up you need planning permission.

To park a vehicle in a field, you don't....but you can still charge for it.

See if your local fire station would want them for training puroses.

With the old lead acid, you could dip voltage tester prong into each cell and confirm a dead cell.

The 2 volt deficit is a give away though, it's entirely Boris'd.

I am 14, which I believe is 68 in human* years.






*The miserable majority.

Loads of 20mph in Bankruptham.

The problem is, no one can drive at 20mph, those who try are useless at it.

My sales tactic is simple, "Do you want to waste time bartering or shall I just give you the final, not a penny less price?"

If they try it on after that I just tell them this is not the item for you.

Drum your fingers until it becomes muscle memory, overcoming the grab reaction, thereby applying the brake progressively.

Alcohol free drinks, the gender ambiguity of chemistry.

Anyone remember Deely Boppers?

Had a bank fraud call today, "FO you thieving C".

It is fun being able to say what you like to people, especially when they can hardly call the police to report you.

Not unusual to see the twunts driving up the river rather than following the road straight in front of them.

They can't resist any excuse to bring up immigration.

If your mrs gets up the chuff, persuade her to use terry nappies for the wee shit machine.

Disposable nappies are inclined to melt when you are polishing the exhausts on your bike.

I was at Windsor Castle for my daughters investiture, Princess Ann personally ignored me.

I had an old CB250N. The brake was rubbish and nothing I could do would take the sponginess from the lever. I replaced the front hose with a braided steel line but the lever was still spongy. In desperation I looked down the brake line from above to see if it was swelling, it was not. The problem wa...

Not if you are russia.