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Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 1:22 pm
by gremlin
One of my faves was...
My friend Billy,
Had a ten-foot willy,
And he showed it to the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake,
So she hit it with a rake,
And now it's only five-foot, four.
Hardly Poet Laureate stuff, but still makes me giggle to this day.
Gremlin, aged 53 3/4.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 1:34 pm
by Le_Fromage_Grande
Jesus Christ Superstar
Came down from Heaven on a Yamaha
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 1:39 pm
by Taipan
Mrs White,
Had a fright,
in the middle of the night.
She saw a Ghost,
Eating toast,
Half way up a lamp post!
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 1:51 pm
by Skub
Skinny malink
*Melodeon legs,
Big banana feet,
Went to the pictures
And couldn't get a seat.
When he got a seat,
He fell fast asleep
Skinny malink
Melodeon legs,
Big banana feet.
*Melodeon is pronounced 'melo-gin'.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 1:56 pm
by KungFooBob
Arty farty had a party
all the farts were there
tooty fruity did a beauty
and they all went out for air
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 1:59 pm
by Skub
Fatty and skinny went to bed
Fatty let off and skinny dropped dead.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 2:01 pm
by MrLongbeard
BBROYGBVGW
Not a childhood ditty, but a wee thing picked up at high school.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 4:49 pm
by McSatan
This is bad. But you asked for it. A song from an early 1970's Fife schoolyard.
To the tune of "Oh Susannah"
Oh ah went tae Alabama whaur the darkies cut the gress
A darkie shoved a lawnmower up, another darkie's erse
Sent fir the doctor, the doctor couldnae come
so a darkie's lyin' in a-go-neee wi' a lawnmower up his bum.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 4:51 pm
by Skub
McSatan wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 4:49 pm
This is bad. But you asked for it. A song from an early 1970's Fife schoolyard.
To the tune of "Oh Susannah"
Oh ah went tae Alabama whaur the darkies cut the gress
A darkie shoved a lawnmower up, another darkie's erse
Sent fir the doctor, the doctor couldnae come
so a darkie's lyin' in a-go-neee wi' a lawnmower up his bum.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 4:53 pm
by Count Steer
MrLongbeard wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 2:01 pm
BBROYGBVGW
Not a childhood ditty, but a wee thing picked up at high school.
Well, it's got most of the colours of the rainbow in like ROYGBIV so what's it all about then?
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 5:28 pm
by MrLongbeard
Count Steer wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 4:53 pm
MrLongbeard wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 2:01 pm
BBROYGBVGW
Not a childhood ditty, but a wee thing picked up at high school.
Well, it's got most of the colours of the rainbow in like ROYGBIV so what's it all about then?
That'd be the racist mnemonic to remember resistor values.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 5:38 pm
by Wreckless Rat
Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
I've got a knife,
So get in the fucking van
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 5:42 pm
by Yorick
I remember these 2 from the 6th form block toilets.
Some come here to sit and think.
Some come here to shit and stick.
But I come here to scratch my balls.
And read the writing on the walls.
To Bog House when they die.
A memorial will be erected in the sky.
A 6' statue made of shit.
A fitting end to their wit.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 7:36 pm
by Felix
There was a woman from Ealing
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back
opened her crack
And pissed half way up the ceiling.
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 7:50 pm
by Bigjawa
I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a frying pan,
I turned on the gas and roasted my ass,
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
Mary, Mary how contrary,
How's your garden grow,
With LSD and Ecstasy,
And loads of speed and blow....
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 7:51 pm
by KungFooBob
Bigjawa wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 7:50 pm
I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a frying pan,
I turned on the gas and roasted my ass,
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
Mary, Mary how contrary,
How's your garden grow,
With LSD and Ecstasy,
And loads of speed and blow....
I think you'll find Popeye the sailor man, lived in a caravan (I don't remember the rest).
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 8:01 pm
by Yorick
We 3 Kings of orient are.
1 in a bus.
And 1 in a car
1 in scooter, papping his hooter
Following yonder star....
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 8:05 pm
by KungFooBob
Yorick wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 8:01 pm
We 3 Kings of orient are.
1 in a taxi
1 in a car
1 on scooter, beeping his hooter
Wearing a sexy bra!
EFA
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Fri Aug 04, 2023 8:40 pm
by Count Steer
KungFooBob wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 7:51 pm
Bigjawa wrote: Fri Aug 04, 2023 7:50 pm
I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a frying pan,
I turned on the gas and roasted my ass,
I'm Popeye the sailor man.
Mary, Mary how contrary,
How's your garden grow,
With LSD and Ecstasy,
And loads of speed and blow....
I think you'll find Popeye the sailor man, lived in a caravan (I don't remember the rest).
I live with 3 witches
That pull down their britches
etc
Re: Childhood ditties and poems you remember...
Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2023 12:01 pm
by Wossname
Bessie met a bus, and a bus met Bessie.
The bus was messy, and the mess was Bessie.
And…
“Oh look, mamma, what is that mess
That looks like strawberry jam?”
“Hush, hush, my child, it is papa -
Run over by a tram.”
Told to us by my auntie Joan, who celebrates her 102nd birthday in a couple of weeks. Still sharp as a tack.