Your Daftest Bike Wreck

[ZRX61]

Me:
1977, on a friends Suzuki Bloop. Riding through a council estate past some kids playing football. One of them managed the perfect curve ball from about 100ft away & hit me square in the chest. Went straight off the back of the bike. Oh how they laughed. Some of the little bastards were literally rolling around in hysterics on the grass.

[weeksy]

I ran over my 916 with my car!

[KungFooBob]

I looped a DR250 showing off to some pensioners walking a dog.

[cheb]

I looped a C90 in front of a lorry on a roundabout. A big handful of throttle for a quick pull away, whipped in the clutch lever and stamped it into gear.

[KungFooBob]

C90's don't have clutch levers... they're semi-auto, if you hold your foot down on the lever you can rev the bollocks off it before pressing it into gear... and pull a nice wheelie.

[cheb]

I know they don't have clutch levers, and I knew that before I did what I did. I knew right upto the moment before doing what you describe above.

[Horse]

Parked outside GF's, in a small space alongside a car. Two cars to the right had gone when i was leaving so, rather than wheeling the bike backwards, i realised there was enough room to ride forward and around in a U.

Now, important detail here: whenever I used a disclock, I always placed it against the caliper so that the bike would only move a few inches before the lock stopped it. And I'd expected to move the bike backwards.

But I rode fowards, bike rolling, feet up on the rests, the front wheel did almost a complete revolution.

Clunk. Huh? Aw Fuckrunch.

Later, a passerby asked Filly "Was your man alright? He didn't seem very happy ... "

[Skub]

On a country road riding a ZZR1100 I nipped in front of a car just before a sharp righthander. The bike scraped around and I looked in the mirror to see how much I'd impressed the driver,except I should have finished the corner first as I ran off the road and ploughed a furrow along a ditch.

Bellend.

[Beancounter]

I ran over my 916 with my car!

Are we talking knocked the bike over or did the bike actually go under the car?

[mangocrazy]

A mate of mine reversed his classic Lotus Elan into his ZX-10...

In my learner days I took a mate's Honda C200 (90cc pushrod single) for a spin and proceeded to try its cornering prowess on a wet and muddy corner. Physics won (as it always does) and I had to explain and pay for thr damage...

[Bigyin]

Pulled up to an uphill T junction on my 636 to turn right but at a stop line. As i stopped put out my left foot and it hit a load of gravel and immediately slid left ....tried to hold it, realised it was futile and as gently as i could laid the bike on the ground while trying to hold the weight as best as i could. Still managed to snap the fucking peg in half as my taking the weight meant it hit straight on instead of folding

[DEADPOOL]

Many years ago I had a fantastic blast down some twisty roads on an early FireBlade. Full tank down to reserve, no holds barred, flat out all the way baby. Pulled into a layby for a quick smoke and...

My leg didn't move! All pins and needles, it just wouldn't move. I thought "ooh, that's weird" as the bike slowly toppled over onto my dead leg.

This was a few years ago so some helpful car drivers (who I had recently zapped at terminal velocity) actually stopped to see if I was ok.

Bike was fine and of course, I didn't feel a thing! The only thing that got hurt was my pride.

[ZRX61]

Some comedy gold so far, maybe a sub-title should have been "Things you will never tell your kids"

[weeksy]

I ran over my 916 with my car!

Are we talking knocked the bike over or did the bike actually go under the car?

Knocked it over. Wasn't that bad in honesty, but expensive

[Jody]

I'm not sure I can pick just one tbh !

New tyre on the back of my RG 125, highsided it coming out the drive.
Thrashing about on my GSXR600, a few bits of gravel on the road made me panic, refuse to turn in properly, ran wide, down the verge, into the hedge, Bike totalled, somehow I was OK.
A friend and I had re assembled my KTM450 SM after powdercoating the frame. The next day while riding past a group of students training for their bike tests, the front end locked and I went straight over the handlebars. I later heard that the students assumed I was showing off to them trying to do a stoppie, in actual fact, my mate had only done the calliper bolts finger tight !!
Out and about on my superduke in Northern spain, pulled a mahoosive wheelie, 'forgot' to grip the tank with my knees, as the front came down I slid forward on the seat and MASHED my nuts on the tank. I didn't actually crash but I was very nearly sick in my helmet and ended up walking like John Wayne for a week !

[Horse]

I ran over my 916 with my car!

A mate's wife had the killer instinct

She knocked him off his Beemer, thought the traffic lights had changed so accelerated.

She also demolished 30 ft of garden wall while parking and, on another occasion while parking, crumped their other car.

She also put him in hospital with food poisoning.

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

In an enduro, riding under a low branch, I didn't duck down enough and got knocked off the back of the bike

[v8-powered]

Filtering between 2 lorries on the A13/A406, one driver decides he's not happy with my progress so closes the gap and ended up with my bike getting dragged along and under. Bike was very broken and I was very lucky, insurance didn't pay out as said I shouldn't have been there.

[Wossname]

Many years ago, Saturday morning, took daughter aged 16 on the back for a new helmet, 70 miles each way, on my nearly new Bandit 600. Lovely trip, both really enjoyed it. Got home, rode round the back of the house, stopped. Bike started to topple R, hand slipped off the clutch. Bike lurched fwd, so I inadvertently twisted the throttle as you do >>> jump! Bounced off the back of the Discovery into the side of the caravan, bike on the floor. Cath says " Dad! What did you do that for?" as she picked herself up off the tarmac.

Spent Sunday glueing the corner bumper back on to the Disco, fixing the caravan door, straightening the bandit fairing and touching up scratches.

Ever since then I've made a habit of nicking it into neutral as I come round that corner.....

[Rockburner]

On the ZXR400 I once pulled into a pub carpark with WindyChris and Animal after a very successful Mallory Park trackday for a meal before we headed or separate ways: put my foot down without looking into a 6" deep puddle and fell over flat! Chris, behind me, nearly dropped his bike he was laughing so much.