When was the last time you Offended someone?

[Skub]

I do however have the most horrific 'tone of voice' that I can't generally hear. It's my mother's you know I've worked really hard to lose most of the family traits, but that tone of voice can really sound awful, and be offensive to some. 100% NOT intentional, but I haven't worked out how to get rid of it

Silence is golden,duct tape is silver.

[Demannu]

It all depends on how you offend someone.
If your opinion offends them, all wel, and good, opinions are like arseholes.
If, however, the truth offends them, buckle up snowflake, it's going to be a bumpy ride!
Anyone that knows me will tell you they hold their breath when I'm introduced to a new social group, as the older I have become, the fewer filters I use.

[Greenman]

And why are we proud of it? Does it make the world a better* place?


*I made a typo as I typed this, an 'i' instead of an 'e'. Freudian or what?

Actually an interesting question for me. In real life, I am extremely happy go lucky. Bit of a scatterbrain and hopelessly disorganised, virtually everything I say is made in good humour and even the darkest subject can be spun into a light hearted funny.

Somehow and I honestly do not know why, this does not translate into the written word. I think it must be to do with the careful choice of the correct wording and an attempt to keep my propositions logically precise.

The written word appears to have a mind of its own (probably the one in the listeners head) and may have a different "meaning" to them than the standard English dictionary version.

Tone of voice, situational context and body language.

Those are all missing from forum communication. But they make up over half the "transmission of meaning" in a face to face discussion.

That's why you have to be very careful about wording etc online.

Spot on.

It's a shame we all converse on here (internet) mainly instead of having close face to face conversations these days...

Tech is good in many ways but in reality and in relation to our social ways of life and mental health it's not been the best for the past 20 years right?

Wording however i think has to be able to be expressed freely to be able to get over those expressions electronically so can't be part of a 'banning' regime.

[Greenman]

The trouble with "telling it like it is" is that there is very seldom one "it" in real life.

You're basically just saying "telling it like I think, but with no acceptance there might be another viewpoint".

But telling it like it is brings out the truth from the other person via a spontanious reaction, so we all can learn from being straight up and blunt whilst still being respectfull, if the other person deserves respect that is...

[Horse]

The written word appears to have a mind of its own (probably the one in the listeners head) and may have a different "meaning" to them than the standard English dictionary version.

My most eloquent posts are done through the art of mime.

[JamJar]

I don't think I offend people, nobody has complained about or to me in a very long time and I try to be nice to everyone. I am quite loud and swear a lot so maybe I offend that way but no one says anything

[Buckaroo]

Actually an interesting question for me. In real life, I am extremely happy go lucky. Bit of a scatterbrain and hopelessly disorganised, virtually everything I say is made in good humour and even the darkest subject can be spun into a light hearted funny.

Somehow and I honestly do not know why, this does not translate into the written word. I think it must be to do with the careful choice of the correct wording and an attempt to keep my propositions logically precise.

The written word appears to have a mind of its own (probably the one in the listeners head) and may have a different "meaning" to them than the standard English dictionary version.

Tone of voice, situational context and body language.

Those are all missing from forum communication. But they make up over half the "transmission of meaning" in a face to face discussion.

That's why you have to be very careful about wording etc online.

Spot on.

It's a shame we all converse on here (internet) mainly instead of having close face to face conversations these days...

Tech is good in many ways but in reality and in relation to our social ways of life and mental health it's not been the best for the past 20 years right?

Wording however i think has to be able to be expressed freely to be able to get over those expressions electronically so can't be part of a 'banning' regime.

I used to run courses on communication skills.

Two things spring to mind.

Always try to deliver your message in a way that you feel comfortable saying, whilst the recipient is also comfortable and open to receiving the message.

Some one far smarter than I said.

"I will remember you not for what you say but how you make me feel "

In my humble view, we don't communicate to convey and discuss, it's become more of a declaration of opinions, belief, based on a current virtue set. There's a pseudo fashion to how you present yourself and it has to align or you risk being called 'offensive'.

There's many things that I miss my Dad for, but the most important in this context is our robust and open discussions, where he helped shape me for the future. Never trying to tell me what to think, but how to think and express my views whilst respecting the other person.

Odd, really, because I don't do social media and yet here I am, sticking my neck out on dear old RTTL. Funny world ain't it.

[Noggin]

I used to run courses on communication skills.

Two things spring to mind.

Always try to deliver your message in a way that you feel comfortable saying, whilst the recipient is also comfortable and open to receiving the message.

Some one far smarter than I said.

"I will remember you not for what you say but how you make me feel "

In my humble view, we don't communicate to convey and discuss, it's become more of a declaration of opinions, belief, based on a current virtue set. There's a pseudo fashion to how you present yourself and it has to align or you risk being called 'offensive'.

There's many things that I miss my Dad for, but the most important in this context is our robust and open discussions, where he helped shape me for the future. Never trying to tell me what to think, but how to think and express my views whilst respecting the other person.

Odd, really, because I don't do social media and yet here I am, sticking my neck out on dear old RTTL. Funny world ain't it.

This is a brilliant post. Thank you. I'm not great with words really, struggle to write (and to say sometimes) what I really want to. But that phrase you posted is something I try and remember a lot -

"I will remember you not for what you say but how you make me feel "

And like others on here - I swear WAYYYYY more than I 'should', but I generally try and wind it back when I might offend someone!! LOL

[weeksy]

When was the last time I offended someone?

Seemingly, every time I open my mouth or post something, so I sit in silence a lot and don't post much here or anywhere else. Nearly every time I log on here I write a reply and delete it before posting.

My wife used to call me a 'social retard'.

It's a real source of anxiety.

Maybe I'm the social retard as youve ever even come close to offending me

[Noggin]

When was the last time I offended someone?

Seemingly, every time I open my mouth or post something, so I sit in silence a lot and don't post much here or anywhere else. Nearly every time I log on here I write a reply and delete it before posting.

My wife used to call me a 'social retard'.

It's a real source of anxiety.

Maybe I'm the social retard as youve ever even come close to offending me

@Taff me neither!!!

[ZRX61]

When was the last time I offended someone?

Seemingly, every time I open my mouth or post something, so I sit in silence a lot and don't post much here or anywhere else. Nearly every time I log on here I write a reply and delete it before posting.

My wife used to call me a 'social retard'.

It's a real source of anxiety.

Maybe I'm the social retard as youve ever even come close to offending me

Could be worse, at least you're not Welsh...

[Taff]

Maybe I'm the social retard as youve ever even come close to offending me

@Taff me neither!!!

I'm really pleased of this, maybe we haven't spent enough time together

[David]

I think you lot should get a room.....

[Taff]

I think you lot should get a room.....

fuck off

[crust]

Maybe I'm the social retard as you've never even come close to offending me

What were we saying in the van

[Taipan]

When was the last time I offended someone?

Seemingly, every time I open my mouth or post something, so I sit in silence a lot and don't post much here or anywhere else. Nearly every time I log on here I write a reply and delete it before posting.

My wife used to call me a 'social retard'.

It's a real source of anxiety.

Maybe I'm the social retard as youve ever even come close to offending me

Me neither. You should post more and worry less.

[Noggin]

Maybe I'm the social retard as youve ever even come close to offending me

@Taff me neither!!!

I'm really pleased of this, maybe we haven't spent enough time together

Nah, from what I remember from meeting a couple (few) times, don't think you could offend me - unless you actually REALLY tried!! Even then, probably not!

[dern]

No matter how small...Did you tell them how you thought about them today or did you tell them what they wanted to hear?

So many people are afraid to express their opinions these days, but the best of us must continue on being who we are, no matter what others think, by telling it how it is!

Do you tell people how it is in real life (not on here) and if not why do you choose to be so polite in 2023?

Have you ever thought it's you who has the problem? Not the ones who don't want to offend?

You're too busy playing the hard done to bloke who thinks the world owes him to see that if there's 5 people in the room, only one of them is an arsehole, not 4.

Yeah of course...I'm a straight talking man, i am the problem for many in a conversation, if they are talking complete shit!

This is what i mean in the thread title, do you speak up, or do you go along with what the majority think is the correct thing to say?

Are you really you in real life?

There's a big difference in expressing a considered opinion that invites discussion to just being a rude prick to get a rise out of people and/or to create disagreement.

[weeksy]

Maybe I'm the social retard as you've never even come close to offending me

What were we saying in the van

Dunno, wasn't listening to you

[crust]

Dunno, wasn't listening to you

That's me offended