Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[cheb]

I've been summoned to the occasional job to do some paperwork. I dread to think how many emails I'll have waiting for me after two months. It'll be double figures at least, and the bulk of those will be the company exhorting me to join Facebook at work.

That's a 50 mile round trip in lockdown to fill in a timesheet. The only entry will be for the day I was there to fill in my timesheet.

[Yorick]

As they say....the only thing better than doing the right thing is having a paper trail of doing the right thing.

As I was DBA I could change system date/time to 'help' if necessary.
Was even easier when I was Unix Sysadmin

[Saga Lout]

It's madness, madness I tell you

A few years ago I had one of British Cyclings Olympic bikes in my hands for benchmark testing. This was on the frames they used to Beijing and London and could well have won a medal, so I was obviously treating it with some caution.

I was trying to get the bottom bracket undone so that I could mount it in a rig. They'd provided the special tool that mates with it and I was there for quite some time trying to undo it, pushing harder and harder ever mindful of damaging the bike.

In the end I gave up and rang the techy guy at British Cycling.

"Its a left hand thread" says he.

"English" bottom brackets have a left hand thread on the drive side. Pedals also have different threads left and right.

[Trinity765]

I often sent emails just to cover my arse. I didn't care if they were ever read. Just my sending was enough

I remember a saying from before emails "a memo is not written to inform the reader but to protect the writer".

[Mussels]

Taps being backwards

Not only are they the wrong way round (hot on the left) but they also operate backwards, clockwise to turn on !!

It's madness, madness I tell you

You're the mad one.
https://www.plumbworld.co.uk/blog/hot-b ... -or-right/

So a 1/4 turn hot tap will need to turn clockwise to turn on as it's going to be awkward turning the lever to the back.

[Cousin Jack]

As I was DBA I could change system date/time to 'help' if necessary.
Was even easier when I was Unix Sysadmin

Which is why it was always good to get to know the DBA for the system.

[Yorick]

As I was DBA I could change system date/time to 'help' if necessary.
Was even easier when I was Unix Sysadmin

Which is why it was always good to get to know the DBA for the system.

Quite

Folk did tend to treat me well, just in case they ever needed summat

[636mick]

DPD. Absolute shower of crap. The paid for and booked for Friday delivery driver managed to get within less than a mile of the delivery address, then decided his time would be better spent doing whatever else needed doing, so buggered off with the parcel. Unfortunately it’s a valentines gift for the girlfriend, the driver then claims I asked for delivery on Monday. Why the feck would I ask for a gift from Cadbury’s Gift Service to be delivered after Valentine’s Day?
Have you tried DPD’s farcical “customer service” chat line? Dont waste your time.
Shower of crap.
Mick

[David]

Try herpes international. 2 months of ...we lost your parcel...open a claim...7 requests for the same document...then...claim denied...followed by...yiur contract was with parcel2go. No it bloody wasnt.

[DefTrap]

Parcel force tracked service.

They track it alright, to the wrong place, say it's delivered, and then they remove it from their system so you can't chase it online anymore.
Then when you spend literally hours on the phone to sort it they miraculously 'find' it and decide they can move it to the correct location, but that will take another 2 weeks.

So far it's been in the system for 5 weeks.

[636mick]

Nice to see all parcel delivery companies are as rubbish as each other. I could tell a story about a new work phone being delivered to me, address started with Motorway Compound, the driver being of foreign descent decided that as it began with M, it must be for Macdonalds!!! My phone sat in Maccys for 5 days until I tracked it down.

As an update to my earlier rant, Cadbury’s Direct Gifts, after waiting on the phone for an hour, agreed a new parcel would be sent for delivery on Sunday, so almost saved the situation. Still think DPD are a shower of crap.
Mick.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Parcel force tracked service.

They track it alright, to the wrong place, say it's delivered, and then they remove it from their system so you can't chase it online anymore.
Then when you spend literally hours on the phone to sort it they miraculously 'find' it and decide they can move it to the correct location, but that will take another 2 weeks.

So far it's been in the system for 5 weeks.

I once got into an almost argument on the phone with Parcelforce over a package that had been delivered to me by mistake. I.e. someone else's parcel sent to completely the wrong address.

They kept telling me "you need to contact your seller, its not our responsibility". I had to elevate to the manager before they would even accept i wasn't supposed to have the parcel.

I dunno how much clearer you can say "the parcel isn't for me, its been delivered to my address by mistake".

I did consider just binning it, but that's hardly fair on the poor sod who actually wanted it.

[wheelnut]

People that leave empty packets in the cupboard so you think you have something, but then it turns out you don't, like leaving the big bag that contains the multi-pack crisps, but no actual packets of crisps inside it.

Or people that half open things, like the butter, they've used it but left the silver foil thing on the top just peeled back a bit, then put the lid back on.

Arghh. In our house they (read my daughter) has a habit of opening new things when the old thing isn’t fully used. Hence we have a fridge with two open cartons of milk, two open tubs of butter, a kitchen cupboard with three open bottles of washing up liquid, two open bottles of flash and two open bottles or washing liquid..

[Trinity765]

People that leave empty packets in the cupboard so you think you have something, but then it turns out you don't, like leaving the big bag that contains the multi-pack crisps, but no actual packets of crisps inside it.

Or people that half open things, like the butter, they've used it but left the silver foil thing on the top just peeled back a bit, then put the lid back on.

I went camping a few years ago with someone who did the foil thing with a tub of instant coffee - each time they made a coffee they spilt some granules trying to work around the foil. I kept quiet for a couple of days but in the end I couldn't contain myself and screamed "Why?!?!". I still don't know.

[slowsider]

People that leave empty packets in the cupboard so you think you have something, but then it turns out you don't, like leaving the big bag that contains the multi-pack crisps, but no actual packets of crisps inside it.

Or people that half open things, like the butter, they've used it but left the silver foil thing on the top just peeled back a bit, then put the lid back on.

I went camping a few years ago with someone who did the foil thing with a tub of instant coffee - each time they made a coffee they spilt some granules trying to work around the foil. I kept quiet for a couple of days but in the end I couldn't contain myself and screamed "Why?!?!". I still don't know.

Sometimes you have to be the adult.

[Wreckless Rat]

Sometimes you have to be the adult.

What, and throw the rank "instant coffee" in the bin, where it belongs.

[Silly Car]

Phone call from the daughter

“Hi daddy, guess what?”
“Dunno kidda, you rattled the chain of your solicitor?”
“Nope, I’m working from home today instead of the office”
“How come, you’re normally in all day?” (half suspecting the answer)
“Two members of staff turned up for work with symptoms of COVID”
“FFS, see you soon...”

After nigh on a fucking year of stay home, get a test and don’t be a cunt, you still get fucking retards who think it is ok and go to work instead of getting a fucking test, thereby potentially infecting the entire workplace (a court) and their families.

[Wreckless Rat]

Phone call from the daughter

“Hi daddy, guess what?”
“Dunno kidda, you rattled the chain of your solicitor?”
“Nope, I’m working from home today instead of the office”
“How come, you’re normally in all day?” (half suspecting the answer)
“Two members of staff turned up for work with symptoms of COVID”
“FFS, see you soon...”

After nigh on a fucking year of stay home, get a test and don’t be a cunt, you still get fucking retards who think it is ok and go to work instead of getting a fucking test, thereby potentially infecting the entire workplace (a court) and their families.

On Friday I was doing some survey work, which included some NHS locations. On arrival I had to strip, satanise, and get into scrubs, an apron, a mask, gloves - the whole 9 yards.

sexy nurse: "hope you don't mind, we are trying to stay COVID free".

me: "no worries, I have stayed at home pretty much for a year, so some scrubs is no issue"

Onto the ward, survey nearly complete

sexy nurse: "if you go past the yellow line you'll need to change your PPE"

me "ok - out of interest, why is that?"

sexy nurse: "we have a COVID case in that room there..."



I wouldn't have gone in the building at all, had she told me that at reception. It's now meant my dentists has cancelled my appointment for today as I have potentially come into contact with CV19.

[Noggin]

Trying to sort out a .eu domain name that was 'cancelled' or put on hold or something.

Using the host company's chat I got bored staring at an empty chat box so went off to write an email or two

Went back to check and they had given a very short answer and then closed the chat box cos I didn't reply immediately!! How rude!!

[slowsider]

On Friday I was doing some survey work, which included some NHS locations. On arrival I had to strip, satanise

Really? Must've been a devil of a job