Scott Mills and 'the celebrity factor' WTF

[IccyV2]

I needed to expose the hypocrisy to make my point about the mental gymnastics that people will go through to make abuse acceptable, it fits with all genders and all examples of abuse and I go back to the point that it only happens in the majority of cases because the victim doesn't feel like there is a safe space to say anything.

I can shrug gold diggers off all day long, but if I was being physically abused by my wife then after my treatment on this thread by some members I definitely wouldn't feel safe to say anything about it on here - and I don't think this place is unusual, I think this is largely representative of society at large.

There is still a lot of progress needed.

[cheb]

Something that irked me to the point of wanting to deface a poster when I was in the UK recently. All of the motorway service area toilets (mens) had posters about domestic abuse. Very laudable and I support it. But not one had a picture of a male as a victim. The UK media is much the same, generally a cringing or upset looking female, rarely a male.

[Horse]

Something that irked me to the point of wanting to deface a poster when I was in the UK recently. All of the motorway service area toilets (mens) had posters about domestic abuse. Very laudable and I support it. But not one had a picture of a male as a victim. The UK media is much the same, generally a cringing or upset looking female, rarely a male.

Did a search for "domestic abuse", had to scroll too far to find this:

.

[IccyV2]

Something that irked me to the point of wanting to deface a poster when I was in the UK recently. All of the motorway service area toilets (mens) had posters about domestic abuse. Very laudable and I support it. But not one had a picture of a male as a victim. The UK media is much the same, generally a cringing or upset looking female, rarely a male.

Yeah I see that, there have been live demonstrations in the street where they have filmed a man hitting a woman and then visa versa to show how differently bystanders react.

But my view is that it's really hard to get people to put aside their bias and suddenly develop emotional intelligence, I demonstrated it really clearly here, but for now anything is better than nothing, so if we really get to grips with abuse on women, then eventually people will open their minds and start to think about the opposite way around. As I said any education on this stuff in any direction should hopefully get people thinking about what is unacceptable.

Women are normally more emotionally intelligent around this stuff, there was a story posted on Facebook recently about a woman teacher who was jailed for abusing a 17yr old boy. Sadly (but unsurprisingly) there were a lot of comments from the men saying "lucky boy", whereas the women in contrast all called it out as sexual abuse and grooming.
It was embarrassing to be a man in that conversation and share the space with other men who thought it was ok.

So women might be our saviour, if we can create safety in our culture for women to expose abuse, then hopefully it won't be too much of a shift to create those spaces for men. The biggest blocker for men, is other men who don't have the emotional intelligence to support men in need.

[cheb]

Something that irked me to the point of wanting to deface a poster when I was in the UK recently. All of the motorway service area toilets (mens) had posters about domestic abuse. Very laudable and I support it. But not one had a picture of a male as a victim. The UK media is much the same, generally a cringing or upset looking female, rarely a male.

Did a search for "domestic abuse", had to scroll too far to find this:

.

I didn't say they didn't exist, I said they were rare.

Possibly I need to add: In my experience. Limited research too, I haven't checked every single frame and image on broadcast media, the internet and print media. Could do better, must try harder 1/10 for effort, detention for a week.

[Taipan]

Scotty boy didn't do himself any favours with his response!

"As the police have stated, a file of evidence was submitted to the Crown Prosecution Service, which determined that the evidential threshold had not been met to bring charges.

"Since the investigation related to an allegation that dates back nearly 30 years and the police investigation was closed 7 years ago, I hope that the public and the media will understand and respect my wish not to make any further public comment on this matter".

[Horse]

Something that irked me to the point of wanting to deface a poster when I was in the UK recently. All of the motorway service area toilets (mens) had posters about domestic abuse. Very laudable and I support it. But not one had a picture of a male as a victim. The UK media is much the same, generally a cringing or upset looking female, rarely a male.

Did a search for "domestic abuse", had to scroll too far to find this:

.

I didn't say they didn't exist, I said they were rare.

Now look at what I posted

[Noggin]

I'm sure there's examples of sexual abuse on men.

It may sound trivial, but make it about a woman and people would understand and be empathetic.

Balance it to a girl with big boobs ...

Many years ago, local radio on while driving to work.

Three female presenters were lusting over Tom Daley's physique (before he came out).

He was 15 at the time.

Could you imagine the furore if three male presenters were lusting over a 15 yo female?

I was shocked, really couldn't believe that three women were happy to do that.

That is something I seriously detest about female presenters. It is pretty sick because women do criticise men a Lot for behaving that way (which I don't think is a bad thing) but to then behave the same way is disgusting. Sad thing is that too many people I know don't see the issue

[cheb]

Woman's hour on R4 used to be terrible for it. I phoned the BBC and complained once, for all the good it did.

[IccyV2]

This is worth a read about gender and changing bias and behaviour - https://www.bbc.com/bbcthree/article/5d ... 16962d5c44

[IccyV2]

And further reading to show what I demonstrated earlier in the thread about men not feeling safe to tell anyone that they're being abused.
This victim was apparently ten days away from death when he was finally found by police after neighbours reported the abuse - not him - it took neighbours to do it.
As I demonstrated very clearly, some people will still pass it off as not a big deal or even victim shame them.

https://theconversation.com/domestic-vi ... omen-95246

It can be particularly hard for men to admit that they have been the victims of abuse. Some male clients we’ve worked with have been taunted and mocked by acquaintances for “not standing up” to their perpetrators – and they can face disbelief when they tell their stories. One comment on a newspaper report about Skeel was: “Oh please, was the door padlocked and bars on the windows.”

[ZRX61]

Buddy of mine made some questionable life choices (raging alcoholic) & ended up living with a dominatrix prossie in Belfast who used to beat the crap out of him on a regular basis.
One day he fought back & really did a number on her. Arrested, charged with attempted murder & remanded in custody awaiting trial. After about three months she flat refused to testify, charges dropped & he was was freed from the pokey.

[DefTrap]

Somehow ZRXs anecdote seems more believable, and certainly relevant, than Iccys

[Sunny]

I think most rational people understand that men aren't immune to this kind of thing.

However, there's a bunch of relevant stats, and when you narrow it down to partner abuse (so excluding parental etc, abuse), it is very much more women getting the shit kicked out of them, etc, rather than vice versa:

'Women were almost twice as likely as men
to have experienced partner abuse (21.2% and 11.2% respectively).'

Source: https://safelives.org.uk/about-domestic ... d-figures/

[IccyV2]

The statistics cannot be relied upon and we’d go around in circles.

It’s a red herring trying to work out who does what to whom. The aim should be to create a society where all abuse can be outed immediately.

[IccyV2]

Somehow ZRXs anecdote seems more believable, and certainly relevant, than Iccys

Again? Blimey.
It's not banter is it, it's not funny, it's just some weird thing you and one or two other people have with me.

If you stop the silly jibes then I don't need to report or respond and Weeksy doesn't have to keep deleting posts and moderating so much, he had to delete stuff yesterday and now probably today as well - you're ruining his day a lot more than you're going to ruin mine.

[cheb]

I think most rational people understand that men aren't immune to this kind of thing.

However, there's a bunch of relevant stats, and when you narrow it down to partner abuse (so excluding parental etc, abuse), it is very much more women getting the shit kicked out of them, etc, rather than vice versa:

'Women were almost twice as likely as men
to have experienced partner abuse (21.2% and 11.2% respectively).'

Source: https://safelives.org.uk/about-domestic ... d-figures/

I'd question those stats, they sound far too low. I don't know where I'd find ones I trust more though.

[IccyV2]

I'd question those stats, they sound far too low. I don't know where I'd find ones I trust more though.

You genuinely can't use the stats, they're massively skewed.

I saw a thing on YouTube with a camera crew following a police team around to see how they deal with street violence on nights out in cities.

The point was made at the end of the show that every woman that had hit a man in an altercation had been told to pack it in and go home, but every man that had hit a woman had been arrested and taken away. The policeman defended it by saying a man shouldn't hit a woman and so they take it very seriously, whereas any man hit by a woman probably wouldn't be seriously hurt so it's much less of an issue.

These are the stats that they'll be using in part to show that women are more likely to be hit by men than visa versa.

This isn't really something I'm out to prove or defend, my aim in posting is to draw attention to victims of either sex feeling like they can't say anything because of the poor emotional intelligence generally in society.

[ZRX61]

Somehow ZRXs anecdote seems more believable, and certainly relevant, than Iccys

That's not even the half of it, he'd been in & out of hospital for years (mostly in) after he got MRSA. Lost a leg to that eventually after several operations in futile attempts to save it, then one night while shitfaced drunk in the hospital, got up to piss, forgot he only had one leg, fell arse over teakettle & broke his hip/pelvis.
That never healed right & they were going to take that leg too. He was at home for a while, woke up one morning, told the gf he didn't feel "right" & was pushing up the daisies by lunch time. From the original infection in his leg to dying was at least 10 or 12 years. At one point he was in hospital for over two years.
The booze ruled his life, which is how he ended up with the prossie. Knew the guy for decades, we were at school together from 10 or 11. Worked together in Cambridge, banged a few of the same girls etc. If I'm being totally honest I'm kinda glad he didn't visit me in the US as he couldn't be trusted around any weapons, let alone guns.

[Rockburner]

The aim should be to create a society where abuse doesn't happen.

Ftfy.