Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[gremlin]

Portmanteau faux fog breed names.

Chatting to a lady whilst walking my Border Collie (note: recognised breed) who just happened to drop into the conversation that her dog was a 'cockerlabapoo'.

Pardon?

You mean it's a cross-breed or, if I were being unkind, a mongrel?

What's next? A rottalabshepabishonDaneterriapoo?

[Count Steer]

Sounds like a 'next doors labrador got into the garden while the cockapoo was in heat'.

It also translates as 'expensive mongrel'.

[Ditchfinder]

Ours are a cross between a Shitzu and a minature poodle and yet they miss they 't' out of the middle of the 'breed' name

[gremlin]

Ours are a cross between a Shitzu and a minature poodle and yet they miss they 't' out of the middle of the 'breed' name

Lest it be 'Crosstbreed'?

[Count Steer]

Ours are a cross between a Shitzu and a minature poodle and yet they miss they 't' out of the middle of the 'breed' name

Lest it be 'Crosstbreed'?

If it involves Yorkshire Terriers they're t'crosstbreeds.

[David]

Surely its a shitpoodle?

[Ditchfinder]

Surely its a shitpoodle?

Very

[Mr. Dazzle]

My idiot cat injuring herself.

She's ripped another claw out. Last time she did it she bled all over the place so I took her to the vet, all I got was a bottle of cat Calpol and instructions to keep an eye on her. And an £85 bill.

This time she's not bleeding, so I'll just do the keeping an eye on her bit for free. She's limping a bit though, I'm sure she's putting on when I'm about. She limps, then turns around to see if I'm watching

She can't boss the crescent, that's her problem. Not sure I want to get involved in a cat turf war, even if I did I'm not sure how I'd go about it.

[Silly Car]

My idiot cat injuring herself.

She's ripped another claw out. Last time she did it she bled all over the place so I took her to the vet, all I got was a bottle of cat Calpol and instructions to keep an eye on her. And an £85 bill.

This time she's not bleeding, so I'll just do the keeping an eye on her bit for free. She's limping a bit though, I'm sure she's putting on when I'm about. She limps, then turns around to see if I'm watching

She can't boss the crescent, that's her problem. Not sure I want to get involved in a cat turf war, even if I did I'm not sure how I'd go about it.

Blood stop swabs and stypic powder in the cupboard will almost guarantee that won’t happen again. Hibiscrub (sp) is worth having as well, although I would want to be the one holding the cat whilst someone else was washing the wound…

[Count Steer]

This time she's not bleeding, so I'll just do the keeping an eye on her bit for free. She's limping a bit though, I'm sure she's putting on when I'm about. She limps, then turns around to see if I'm watching

It's a while ago now but a couple we knew had an afghan hound (called Zac) that injured a leg quite seriously so was limping around for a while and getting lots of lurv and attention.

Once healed, if they reprimanded the dog about anything it would start limping.

The funny bit though was...it would forget which leg it was supposed to limp on.

[.....]

Spent a good day wrestling a gearbox out of a car.
Putting it back in, lining it up nicely.....gently does it.....slips off the jack(s) and falls straight out to the floor.
Luckily my arm was in the way so that cushioned its fall!

[Jody]

Silly smart phones

I've just taken 3 screen shots and sent each one to the same contact on whattsapp

Despite the phone making suggestions for who I might like to send the pictures to. Suggestions that are 80% people I haven't messaged in months.
And even though I'm currently having a conversation on whatapp with the intended recipient.

I had to each time, scroll past the suggestions, select WhatsApp, then choose the recipient.

I mean it's OK and I will live. But FFS what's the point in making suggestions of recipient completly at random!

[Jody]

This doesn't bmp, was just weird af

Top tip

If you're hanging out at the traffic lights, going up to cars and begging them to put money in your paper cup. It's probably NOT a good idea to have a fag on the go at the same time. It might create the wrong impression?!

[Mr. Dazzle]

Them ciggies ain't free you know, how else are they meant to pay for them?

[.....]

My neighbours electrics!
The place is about 160 yo, wired up in @ 1950......and still there now!
She comes over to me 'do you know anything about electrics?'
Omgfg! There is one (loose) rcd hanging in mid air with ALL the house sparks going through it!
Surprisingly the 5 neutral wires shoved in had worked loose. There were exposed live block connectors all over the place.
I jury rigged a neutral bar/ buzz bar so just one wire goes to the rcd and a stern warning to get it sorted properly....... which I doubt she'll do!

[Count Steer]

Jars of food stuff that you might use a spoon or two once a month that say 'After opening, use within 4 weeks'.

Just make the jars smaller (and charge less).

Probably find that the jar costs more than the contents....

[gremlin]

Jars of food stuff that you might use a spoon or two once a month that say 'After opening, use within 4 weeks'.

"Rules are for the guidance of wise men, and the blind obedience of fools".

The 'sniff' is the ultimate test of whether something is still good to eat.

Yours, Gremlin
Currently recovering from botulism in ward 5 of St. Thomas's Hospital.

[gremlin]

Old trainers. Half decent socks. Running the usual route and distance.

So why suddenly a blister on my left heel?

[Count Steer]

O2. Been on their PAYG mobile tariff thing for nearly 20 years, just sticking £30 on every 3 months. Went to put money on yesterday and they've done some sort of merger thing with Virgin. Had to create a new account, download app etc etc. 2 goes at that failed.

Asked for PAC number, got it, ordered new SIM from another service provider.

'em.

[Count Steer]

Jars of food stuff that you might use a spoon or two once a month that say 'After opening, use within 4 weeks'.

"Rules are for the guidance of wise men, and the blind obedience of fools".

The 'sniff' is the ultimate test of whether something is still good to eat.

Yours, Gremlin
Currently recovering from botulism in ward 5 of St. Thomas's Hospital.

Yeah, that and can you get the layer of white mould off the top cleanly.