Jokes Thread

[Taipan]

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[Taipan]

Just ordered some of that special, retro, Adam Ant ice cream from Tesco.
Turned out to be just Standard Vanilla...

[Dodgy69]

[Taipan]

I opened a window of my One Direction advent calendar the other day and Liam Payne fell out...

[Horse]

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[gremlin]

Getting the new Rick Astley board game for Christmas as it's very easy to play.

You know the rules, and so do I.

[Horse]

I've been diagnosed with a chronic fear of giants.

Feefiiphobia

[Taipan]

[Sadlonelygit]

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[Felix]

Bobs Monoblock was photoshoped over his foot. No wonder he argued with the builder.

[Mr. Dazzle]

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[KungFooBob]

I've seen a few memes mentioning Robin and and Egg, however as far as I know, Robin 'Flew away', rather than anything to do with eggs.

[Felix]

There was a wee Robin singing its little heart out at the plant section in Morrisons Berwick upon Tweed today.

[Ian]

They're very territorial, if you listen carefully he was probably telling all the other birds to fuck off

[Felix]

They're very territorial, if you listen carefully he was probably telling all the other birds to fuck off

There were no others. The poor wee bugger was stuck inside the store.

[gremlin]

They're very territorial, if you listen carefully he was probably telling all the other birds to fuck off

There were no others. The poor wee bugger was stuck inside the store.

I think you'll find it was saying, 'Look at me! I've annexed Morrison's! FUCKING MORRISON'S!!!! Get in!'

[MrLongbeard]

They're very territorial, if you listen carefully he was probably telling all the other birds to fuck off

There were no others. The poor wee bugger was stuck inside the store.

I think you'll find it was saying, 'Look at me! I've annexed Morrison's! FUCKING MORRISON'S!!!! Get in!'

He better have deep pockets, I very nearly shit a brick at the tills last Saturday

[Felix]

There were no others. The poor wee bugger was stuck inside the store.

I think you'll find it was saying, 'Look at me! I've annexed Morrison's! FUCKING MORRISON'S!!!! Get in!'

He better have deep pockets, I very nearly shit a brick at the tills last Saturday

I shit bigger bricks. You ever looked at the price of the Free From foods? Morrisons have a larger range than Tesco and the likes. Morrisons meat i also prefer over Tesco or ASDA.

[MrLongbeard]

I shit bigger bricks. You ever looked at the price of the Free From foods? Morrisons have a larger range than Tesco and the likes. Morrisons meat i also prefer over Tesco or ASDA.

Nope, not something I need to worry about, agree about their meat though it's much better than usual supermarket offerings.
I would swear off Morrisons entirely, but their salt and pepper rolls are to die for.

[Ditchfinder]