In todays light hearted look at the (non-political) news

[JackyJoll]

Anyone here aware of the pain au choc vs chocolatine division…?

I heard they ran away at Stalingrad.

[Buckaroo]

My daughter has just had a baby girl!!!


Now THAT'S news folks

9lbs 3 ounces of pure cuddle.

Pleased to report that all are doing well and thanks to all for your 'thanks '

[Count Steer]

I'm surprised the shop had so many in stock.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cv2gxev3515o

[Horse]

I'm surprised the shop had so many in stock.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cv2gxev3515o

Richards targeted 19 shops

So, will he be out of prison before the diabetes gets him?

[weeksy]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvg4kpv3p4zo

Suspected burglar caught after sitting down with book

A would-be burglar in Rome was caught after stopping to read a book on Greek mythology in the middle of a robbery, Italian media report.

The 38-year-old reportedly gained access to a flat in the Italian capital's Prati district via the balcony but became distracted after picking up a book about Homer's Iliad on a bedside table.

The 71-year-old homeowner is said to have awoken and confronted the alleged thief, who was engrossed in the book.

News of the failed robbery attracted the attention of the book's author, who told local media he wanted to send the man a copy so he could "finish" his read.

After being caught off-guard, the alleged robber reportedly attempted to make a quick getaway by escaping via the same balcony, but was arrested shortly afterwards.

He is said to have told police he had climbed the building to visit a person he knew.

"I thought I had ended up in a B&B, saw the book and started to read it."

Giovanni Nucci, the author of The Gods at Six O'Clock, which explains the Iliad from the perspective of the gods, told Il Messaggero: "It's fantastic."

"I'd like to find the person caught red-handed and give him the book, because he'll have been arrested halfway through reading it. I'd like him to be able to finish it.

"It's a surreal story, but also full of humanity."

The thief was reportedly in possession of a bag containing expensive clothing allegedly stolen from another house earlier that evening.

Mr Nucci said his personal favourite deity was Hermes, the god of thieves.

"He is also the god of literature. It is clear: everything fits," he joked.

[KungFooBob]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cvgekk78n9zt

The host on the radio station I listen to is going mental about this.

I don't mind the music, I think the brothers are dickheads, so I'm not too bothered by the whole thing.

Any massive fans here who think this is the greatest day ever?

[Taipan]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cvgekk78n9zt

The host on the radio station I listen to is going mental about this.

I don't mind the music, I think the brothers are dickheads, so I'm not too bothered by the whole thing.

Any massive fans here who think this is the greatest day ever?

I like some of their music but not all. I disliked their arrogance and disrespect of other musicians greatly. TBH the reunion has always felt manufactured and planned to me, but this will generate shedloads of cash for them. I'm more impressed at the internets response to the brothers will childish things like...

[Bigjawa]

Chap I work with went to see LG the other week.

Came on stage an hour late, played for an hour, then fucked off.

Oasis are on the list of artists that if they were playing in the street outside my house, I'd close the curtains and turn the telly up.

I'd rather watch James Blunt, at least he's not a total arsehole.

[mangocrazy]

I couldn't be arsed to go and see them first time around, so their latest pension-stuffing exercise is of zero interest to me.

However it seems Mrs Mango is caught up in all the hype and will be trying to snag a pair of tickets when they go on release. Ho-hum, yawn etc.

[Count Steer]

I find it quite heartwarming that all it takes to settle a family feud is the dangled carrot of a £million or two in the pension pot/mansion maintenance fund/divorce bill.

All together now, 'Oh he lives in a house, a very big house in the country...'

...and so would I, probably.

[Mr. Dazzle]

It wasn't like you couldn't listen to their music for the last 20 years, even if you couldn't see them on tour.

They're gonna be a bit / a lot shit, they've not been an act for years. They're just wheeling the name out of the cupboard to top up the pension fund. Not a good way to create a memorable gig

P.S. That particular acoustic guitar chord progression will always be Boulevard of Broken Dreams to me anyway

[ChrisW]

They're gonna be a bit / a lot shit,

I doubt most people who go will care - it's more about making people in their mid-fifties feel like it's 1995 again and they're back in their twenties.

I like a couple of Oasis tracks but they were always such Beatles-obsessed pricks & I preferred Blur, if pushed to make a choice. It was a fun year, though.

[v8-powered]

Noel and his HLBs, yes. Liam and any combination containing him, no.

[JamJar]

Chap I work with went to see LG the other week.

Came on stage an hour late, played for an hour, then fucked off.

Oasis are on the list of artists that if they were playing in the street outside my house, I'd close the curtains and turn the telly up.

I'd rather watch James Blunt, at least he's not a total arsehole.

I've seen James Blunt live and he really is quite good fun on stage and I don't really like his music at all.

[v8-powered]

Chap I work with went to see LG the other week.

Came on stage an hour late, played for an hour, then fucked off.

Oasis are on the list of artists that if they were playing in the street outside my house, I'd close the curtains and turn the telly up.

I'd rather watch James Blunt, at least he's not a total arsehole.

I've seen James Blunt live and he really is quite good fun on stage and I don't really like his music at all.

Mate of mine served under him in the forces in Kosovo, reckons he's a real nice funny boke.

[Taipan]

Chap I work with went to see LG the other week.

Came on stage an hour late, played for an hour, then fucked off.

Oasis are on the list of artists that if they were playing in the street outside my house, I'd close the curtains and turn the telly up.

I'd rather watch James Blunt, at least he's not a total arsehole.

I've seen James Blunt live and he really is quite good fun on stage and I don't really like his music at all.

Mate of mine served under him in the forces in Kosovo, reckons he's a real nice funny boke.

His twitter retorts are brilliant!

[Saga Lout]

Almost 27% of adult in Britain are insane:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0jkbxw4

[Bigjawa]

Almost 27% of adult in Britain are insane:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0jkbxw4

If "Pot Noodle Eating" and "Red Bull Consumption" were Olympic events, I'd be a shoe in.

[Pirahna]

Almost 27% of adult in Britain are insane:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0jkbxw4

I've got a 10m target pistol and practice anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour a day. I shoot at 140mm x 140mm targets, the official targets are 170mm x 170mm. After a few months of practice I'm getting OK'ish but far too many flyers to some random place on the target to consider joining a club. When I can get decent scores I'll think about a better pistol. To qualify for the next Olympics I'd need to be putting in several hours a day and then find some hidden talent for consistently hitting bullseyes.

[Saga Lout]

Almost 27% of adult in Britain are insane:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0jkbxw4

I've got a 10m target pistol and practice anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour a day. I shoot at 140mm x 140mm targets, the official targets are 170mm x 170mm. After a few months of practice I'm getting OK'ish but far too many flyers to some random place on the target to consider joining a club. When I can get decent scores I'll think about a better pistol. To qualify for the next Olympics I'd need to be putting in several hours a day and then find some hidden talent for consistently hitting bullseyes.

Talent, that's the secret sauce that separates the 0.001% (ish) from us mere mortals.

I used to run pretty much every day. Usually 7 miles or so and about 15 miles on Saturday or Sunday. I used to enter the occasional races from 5 miles up to 20 miles. I was happy if I finished in the top half. I enjoyed running but I didn't have the talent to be an elite runner. Couch potatoes watch the Olympics, see how easy the top athletes make it look and think it really is that easy.

Mind you, I am considering applying for Australian citizenship, I reckon I could qualify for the breakdancing team in Los Angeles.
What do you mean, there's no breakdancing in 2028?