Jokes Thread

[Horse]

Woah! Be fair to the gal ... I don't think she actually ...

Ftfy

[Skub]

Woah! Be fair to the them ... I don't think they actually ...

Ftfy

ftfyp.

[Yorick]

Woah! Be fair to the them ... I don't think they actually ...

Ftfy

ftfyp.

???

[weeksy]

FFS, back to the point hey ?

Jokes thread.... not complete fucking bollox thread.

[Horse]

20240226_141046.jpg (82.43 KiB) Viewed 638 times

[MrLongbeard]

Woah! Be fair to the guy with the long white beard, I don't think he actually wrote the New Testament.

I didn't.

[Saga Lout]

Ftfy

ftfyp.

???

God is three persons...
Or do I mean God ARE three persons?

[Horse]

* Breaking News *

The Home Office has just announced that plans to send illegal immigrants to Rwanda have been scrapped.

Instead, they're going to deport pensioners to France. Much easier to catch and much less likely to find their way back.

[Sadlonelygit]

From what little I remember from Sunday school, God was angry at his creation as it had descended Ito a pit of corruption so decided to destroy what he’d created. God told Noah who gathered the animals 2 by 2 and put them in his boat. He floated around a bit until he beached on a mountain, then came down as the floods drained and Gods creation started over again. The moral being don’t mess with the big guy or he'll mess you up but he has also demonstrated that he can be forgiving. The only stupid thing about the myth is people have actually spent good money looking for the arc!

And Noah was the ONLY person in the entire world with a boat!

[Yorick]

From what little I remember from Sunday school, God was angry at his creation as it had descended Ito a pit of corruption so decided to destroy what he’d created. God told Noah who gathered the animals 2 by 2 and put them in his boat. He floated around a bit until he beached on a mountain, then came down as the floods drained and Gods creation started over again. The moral being don’t mess with the big guy or he'll mess you up but he has also demonstrated that he can be forgiving. The only stupid thing about the myth is people have actually spent good money looking for the arc!

And Noah was the ONLY person in the entire world with a boat!

Nelly knitted it for him for Christmas.

[Taipan]

[Felix]

What's a scousers favourite cake?

Stollen

[Horse]

My mate drinks brake fluid. Lots of brake fluid, every day.

I think he's addicted.

He says he can stop anytime he wants.

[Saga Lout]

My mate drinks brake fluid. Lots of brake fluid, every day.

I think he's addicted.

He says he can stop anytime he wants.

Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?

[Horse]

My mate drinks brake fluid. Lots of brake fluid, every day.

I think he's addicted.

He says he can stop anytime he wants.

Is anybody going to get upset if I say he's probably retarded?

Don't bother. What's the points?

[Saga Lout]

From The Gastropod Fancier's Handbook:

Don't take the shell off your racing snail, it'll only make him sluggish.

[Horse]

20240302_193345.jpg (260.67 KiB) Viewed 825 times

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

[Sadlonelygit]

FB_IMG_1709747593136.jpg (71.46 KiB) Viewed 704 times