Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[BartonBKing]

When I'm quietly reading and the missus sits near to me eating. Sounds like a fucking pig snorting it's way through a feeding trough.

[Yorick]

You really are quite the misogynist aren't you. I mean how dare they leave the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant that's what they should be.

There was nothing sexist at all, Ask a grown up to help you understand.

I'd be happy for Jenny Tinmouth to commentate on BSB as she's been there and got the t-shirt. Same with Marie Costello at the TT.

That bit I've highlighted, ladies can present but can't be experts. OK, nothing sexist at there. No sirree.

Bollox. Go annoy someone else.

[Sadlonelygit]

Postmen who do their rounds in alternate directions!
Not staying at my postal address atm, and was waiting for my passport to come back, so popped over (35 miles ) yesterday at 1030, bugger, the bright red card of fuck you sir.
So today I get there at 0815, no mail.......excellent. and I wait

And wait........


And wait.........



And run out of phone battery playing games


And wait.......

Finally at 1420 i hear the gate go, huzzah!

[Yambo]

Postmen who do their rounds in alternate directions!
Not staying at my postal address atm, and was waiting for my passport to come back, so popped over (35 miles ) yesterday at 1030, bugger, the bright red card of fuck you sir.
So today I get there at 0815, no mail.......excellent. and I wait

And wait........


And wait.........



And run out of phone battery playing games


And wait.......

Finally at 1420 i hear the gate go, huzzah!

A watched pot never boils . . .

[katana]

I've heard expert commentators talking absolute bollox. They don't have exclusive rights on accuracy, or any guarantee of it.

Let me interupt myself?

Murray Walker and John Motson both had stellar careers in the sports they commentated

Wasn't motty famous for his coat too?

[katana]

They woulnd't even need to wear any headphones!

Its a fucking winner. Can you write an albums worth of silence? I can supply invisible headphones and we just get folk to bounce around the streets in some sort of uniform fashion while charging £15 a head (Y)

Maybe we could press it on invisible vinyl too, a silent album on invisible vinyl will be rare as fuck, we could charge £300 a press on launch...

Take the mney and run?

[Saga Lout]

Murray Walker and John Motson both had stellar careers in the sports they commentated

'Swot I was thinking.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Making dippy eggs for breakfast.

Dropped one getting it out of the box, instinctively that thing where you try and break its fall with your foot, ended up drop kicking a raw egg across the kitchen and into the wall.

[gremlin]

Its a fucking winner. Can you write an albums worth of silence? I can supply invisible headphones and we just get folk to bounce around the streets in some sort of uniform fashion while charging £15 a head (Y)

Maybe we could press it on invisible vinyl too, a silent album on invisible vinyl will be rare as fuck, we could charge £300 a press on launch...

Take the mney and run?

That ship's already sailed, I'm afraid.
4' 33" by John Cage.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4%E2%80%B ... te%201940s.

Up there in pretentiousness with What Did Jack Do?

[Taipan]

Dementia has well and truly bmp today. Been to Chelmsford and back with the mother in law who has dementia. The whole way, there and back, she repeatedly said aren’t there a lot of cars on the road and where are we going now? You can’t ignore her so you’re answering the same amount of times. Such a lovely lady and it’s so sad to see this change in her. Hopefully we’ll see an end to this disease in the next few decades…

[Yorick]

Dementia has well and truly bmp today. Been to Chelmsford and back with the mother in law who has dementia. The whole way, there and back, she repeatedly said aren’t there a lot of cars on the road and where are we going now? You can’t ignore her so you’re answering the same amount of times. Such a lovely lady and it’s so sad to see this change in her. Hopefully we’ll see an end to this disease in the next few decades…

One of my good mates flies back to UK often to see his mum with serious dementia. He's just put her in a home for her own safety.
When he talks about her, you can see the pain in his eyes

[Yorick]

Doing a good deed which backfires

Neighbour's son is over for a few weeks and hinted that he'd love to have an enduro ride. So I arranged to borrow my pal's GasGas and we always charge 70€ for a day's hire. But I had to ride Mark's bike and J ride mine.

After about 10 miles my own bike got front puncture. He couldn't ride it like that, so we swapped bikes and I rode home with flat tyre.

When we got home it was obvious the front tyre was now knackered. So I've just taken it to local shop for tyre and tube,

Now I feel awkward about the money. Mark will still want his 70€ and I think J should pay for the tyre and tube. If I borrowed a car and it got a puncture, it would be up to me to sort it.

And I put 10€ in each bike, and maybe J should pay half ?

It may all get sorted, but he just went home after the aborted ride. Not even offered a lift to help me return the bike 10 miles away. Penny had to come to bring me home.

He wants to go out again next week, but it depends on the outcome.

Feeling a bit peplexed.

Well, he's fucked off back to UK without paying a penny. Said he wouldn't pay anything until I went round there to argue my case. He's a patronising wanker and treating this like a business venture. I sent him the receipts for the tyre and petrol and showed him what we agreed to borrow my pal's Gasgas.

He plays the rich wanker well and expected me to go round with cap in hand, begging. This guy is fucking loaded and was bragging about his £1m wages bill for his staff.

For €140 he has blown everything. My enduro pals have known his mum for 30 years and they're pissed off. He wanted to move here and come riding with is and leave his bike in my garage.
Actually, he told me he could leave it in my garage and gave me a knowing smile as though he was doing me a favour.

I can't let off steam coz his mum and partner are amongst our best pals and have Elvis when we go away. And coz of that, it's building up inside and making me ill. I told Mark that this wanker won't pay for the GasGas loan and he was pissed off as he's known the family 30 years.

I'll get the fucker in the long term.

[Sadlonelygit]

Stuff

More stuff

No good deed goes unpunished!

Deep breath, count to 10, mentally put the twat on ignore and move on.

It's not his parents fault he's a twat, don't let that interfere with your friendship.

[katana]

Doing a good deed which backfires

Neighbour's son is over for a few weeks and hinted that he'd love to have an enduro ride. So I arranged to borrow my pal's GasGas and we always charge 70€ for a day's hire. But I had to ride Mark's bike and J ride mine.

After about 10 miles my own bike got front puncture. He couldn't ride it like that, so we swapped bikes and I rode home with flat tyre.

When we got home it was obvious the front tyre was now knackered. So I've just taken it to local shop for tyre and tube,

Now I feel awkward about the money. Mark will still want his 70€ and I think J should pay for the tyre and tube. If I borrowed a car and it got a puncture, it would be up to me to sort it.

And I put 10€ in each bike, and maybe J should pay half ?

It may all get sorted, but he just went home after the aborted ride. Not even offered a lift to help me return the bike 10 miles away. Penny had to come to bring me home.

He wants to go out again next week, but it depends on the outcome.

Feeling a bit peplexed.

Well, he's fucked off back to UK without paying a penny. Said he wouldn't pay anything until I went round there to argue my case. He's a patronising wanker and treating this like a business venture. I sent him the receipts for the tyre and petrol and showed him what we agreed to borrow my pal's Gasgas.

He plays the rich wanker well and expected me to go round with cap in hand, begging. This guy is fucking loaded and was bragging about his £1m wages bill for his staff.

For €140 he has blown everything. My enduro pals have known his mum for 30 years and they're pissed off. He wanted to move here and come riding with is and leave his bike in my garage.
Actually, he told me he could leave it in my garage and gave me a knowing smile as though he was doing me a favour.

I can't let off steam coz his mum and partner are amongst our best pals and have Elvis when we go away. And coz of that, it's building up inside and making me ill. I told Mark that this wanker won't pay for the GasGas loan and he was pissed off as he's known the family 30 years.

I'll get the fucker in the long term.

Ok to be devils advocate, did he ask you directly? To me it sounds like he is trading on your friendship with his family.

See it as a fee for dealing with a self centered cockwomble. Smile be nice and friendly and never lift a finger to help him ever again. You are very busy, painting, running errunds, absorbing vitamin D.

Also your garage is full as I an other members are dropping bikes over anyday.

There is a difference between friends with a parent and their child.

[KungFooBob]

For £500 plus expenses...

[katana]

For £500 plus expenses...

Ah is that the usal fee....plus expenses for your private investigations....


Yeah guess what I have been listening to.

[Horse]

He wanted to move here and come riding with is

Would be a shame if he got a flat tyre, miles from anywhere.

And I know you're too nice to do that.

[Mussels]

I've broken my only pair of reading glasses, ordered two more but they don't get here for 5 to 7 days.
I'm slowly getting used to this glasses malarkey.

[David]

I've broken my only pair of reading glasses, ordered two more but they don't get here for 5 to 7 days.
I'm slowly getting used to this glasses malarkey.

I have been wearing mine since I was 5 (bugger me, 70 years!) and my main fear is losing/breaking them. Though I do have spares, somewhere.

[weeksy]

Lurgy. Mrs Weeksy has been down with it for 4 days now.... Yesterday mine finally kicked in. Today i'm feeling like a bag of shite.