Say the zombie apocalypse comes

[weeksy]

Questions

1. Will they be like the old movies where they stroll at 3mph or will they be like 28 days later where it's crazy running after you?

2. If they're zombies why do they group together?

3. Why do they lose speech?

4. Why does no one ever get away on a bicycle?

5. How will you kill them?

6. Where will you go?

7. Why don't they go to the toilet if they eat stuff?

[mangocrazy]

This is Screwdriver bait...

[KungFooBob]

hmmmm, brains!

[Kneerly Down]

I practice once in a while for it by visiting Milton Keynes town centre.

[Horse]

No idea.

But there is this secret government training film:

[mangocrazy]

According to the blueprint laid down by Simon Pegg, the first thing you should do is to find a pub.

Which is worrying, cos around our way pubs are shutting down left, right and centre.

It's all planned, I tell ye...

[Taipan]

You need guns and lots of them!

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

Questions

1. Will they be like the old movies where they stroll at 3mph or will they be like 28 days later where it's crazy running after you?

2. If they're zombies why do they group together?

3. Why do they lose speech?

4. Why does no one ever get away on a bicycle?

5. How will you kill them?

6. Where will you go?

7. Why don't they go to the toilet if they eat stuff?

1. Don't know
2. Don't know
3. What have they got to chat about?
4. Because cyclists are where zombies come from
5. You can't kill zombies, they're already dead
6. Sealand
7.How do you know they don't go to the toilet?

[DefTrap]

Logically if they're just the recently dead and reanimated they will primarily be confused. There's no reason for them to suddenly be any faster, not any reason for them to want to eat you. They might group together but only for self preservation.

I think we'd still want to hunt them down (and probably try to kill them again) but it'd be a bit Auschwitzy. Day 2 of the zombie apocalypse would involve the creation of the RSPCZ, the patron would have to be some popular figure on the cusp of croaking, like Attenborough.

[Yorick]

Hope they don't all have bloody KTMs

[Cousin Jack]

Are you lot thick?

You obviously need a big fuck-off zombie knife. They are banned, so every self-respecting crim will have one stashed away.

[MrLongbeard]

Are you lot thick?

You obviously need a big fuck-off zombie knife. They are banned, so every self-respecting crim will have one stashed away.

More so now the classification has been changed

[Taipan]

Are you lot thick?

You obviously need a big fuck-off zombie knife. They are banned, so every self-respecting crim will have one stashed away.

More so now the classification has been changed

Are they ip65 rated, unlike KTM clocks...

[gremlin]

First things first. Start buying up bog roll and upgrade your Netflix subscription.


Will there be Zombie-deniers starting spurious rumours about big business creating a zombie vaccine in order to control the world's supply of zombie knives?

[weeksy]

Do you think you’ll notice much difference after a zombie apocalypse in the UK?

I think we’re already there, it drives me mad how slow people are, they move mentally and physically at slug pace, the lethargy and apathy is spectacular.

Depends what type of Zombie they are

I may lose a bit of weight running away if they're the fast ones.

[Count Steer]

Next generation of zombies won't be a problem. They'll walk around slowly, oblivious to everything apart from the cat videos on the mobile phones they're all clutching.

[the_priest]

Questions

1. Will they be like the old movies where they stroll at 3mph or will they be like 28 days later where it's crazy running after you? Both. Viruses mutate.

2. If they're zombies why do they group together? Herd mentality

3. Why do they lose speech? Virus rots the brain, so no speech centres

4. Why does no one ever get away on a bicycle? Most are too fat to ride.

5. How will you kill them? Holy water, Glock19 (with big suppressor for silent head shots

6. Where will you go? Church (they have towers for good long distance sniping, they have strong doors and thick walls.

7. Why don't they go to the toilet if they eat stuff? I presume they absorb everything, but no-one has seen a Zombie poo, so one cannot assume they don't.

[gremlin]

Questions

1. Will they be like the old movies where they stroll at 3mph or will they be like 28 days later where it's crazy running after you? Both. Viruses mutate.

2. If they're zombies why do they group together? Herd mentality

3. Why do they lose speech? Virus rots the brain, so no speech centres

4. Why does no one ever get away on a bicycle? Most are too fat to ride.

5. How will you kill them? Holy water, Glock19 for head shots

6. Where will you go? Church (they have towers for good long distance sniping, they have strong doors and thick walls.

7. Why don't they go to the toilet if they eat stuff? I presume they absorb everything, but no-one has seen a Zombie poo, so one cannot assume they don't.

Do bears and zombies shit in the woods...?

[MingtheMerciless]

Zombie is an outdated, offensive and derogatory term.

The correct term to use in this day and age is Partially Deceased Syndrome.

Guns are noisy and should be used as a last resort, crossbow for the silent kill.

[KungFooBob]

You know what, being a zombie probably isn't so bad. No work, no worries, no pressure to act/dress appropriately.

Sign me up.