The lies of the bike buyer

[MyLittleStudPony]

I advertised a bike for sale. Some bloke came to look at it yesterday. Lies he told while checking it out included:

- I thought it was a 2022 (it's clearly advertised as 2021)
- The next service will cost £600
- It hasn't got a quickshifter so isn't really worth having
- Loads of these were bought on cheap finance and that's come to an end so there's loads of them on sale for £1600(!), no one wants them
- There's a newer one on ebay with just !000 miles for £xxxx
- Round my way this would be stolen straight away, they'd just throw it in a van

ebay had given me his full name and address. He said he lived somewhere different too.

I'd told him what the price was but he kept coming out with this bullshit and offering me less. In the end I said he should go and have a think about it, just to get rid of him.

TBH I wouldn't let him back on the premises, let alone sell it to the dishonest south Yorkshire chawbacon, at any price.

[DefTrap]

These days everyone is a Mike Brewer " 'old aht yet 'aaaand! " cockernee tosspot when it comes to buying and selling cars.

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

Try selling a motorcross bike, they attract a much lower class of idiot

[ChrisW]

Could you imagine trying to sell a Sur-Ron??!

[KungFooBob]

I'm from South Yorkshire and I won't stand this slur against the fine counties inhabitants.

I'll give you £800 for it, it's probably fucked.

[Taff]

I’ve no patience for this sort of crap, when selling a ktm enduro bike a fella was going on like this picking up every little bit of dirt so I pushed it back into the shed and locked the door. Fella stood there looking confused so I said something like you obviously don’t want it so you’re leaving, before walking him to his car.

When selling my caravan I landed up telling that bloke to get in his car and piss off and I’d rather take it to the scrappy than sell it to him. He did end up paying what we wanted though

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

I’ve no patience for this sort of crap, when selling a ktm enduro bike a fella was going on like this picking up every little bit of dirt so I pushed it back into the shed and locked the door. Fella stood there looking confused so I said something like you obviously don’t want it so you’re leaving, before walking him to his car.

When selling my caravan I landed up telling that bloke to get in his car and piss off and I’d rather take it to the scrappy than sell it to him. He did end up paying what we wanted though

I told a bloke to feck off when selling a KTM as he was being a twat

[dern]

Drives me nuts but they do it because occasionally someone will be desperate enough to say yes.

Advertised my aprilia for 3850 and someone offered me 2500
Advertised my Vivaro for 16000 and someone offered me 10000

[Dodgy69]

If they've travelled to your house it's easy to push it back in the garage, seller in strongest position iykwim.

[Yorick]

Over here it's traditional to knock off 10% so you add 10% on to start.
When they knock you down, they have a smile and pay up
If they offer 20% less, you agree to 10%.
Again they're happy

[Cousin Jack]

Years ago now but selling the wife's A series Merc.

We Buy Any Car offered a stupid price
Offered it for sale at a realistic price for a low mileage, one owner, perfect condition car.
Several idiots offered less than We Buy Any Car.
Sold it for a bit over twice what We Buy Any Car offered.

[DefTrap]

I think WBAC must either be for lazy (well those who like 'convenience' at least) or moronic (who can't be bothered to do any research) car sales.
I recently was asked to list my mum's VW Golf (88 and time to stop bombing about in a 22yo bright red cabriolet) and looking about the rough 'sold' price for an immaculate car of that type with less than 25k miles (yeah) on it was ITRO c£5k. Yes, I was reasonably surprised.
WBAC offered £1200 and presumably would have turned up happily to steal a few grand from some pensioners. In the end it sold to the first person who turned up from a private ad for the listed £4.5k.

[MyLittleStudPony]

Well, the bike's paid for and gone to a nice guy who behaved impeccably.

Well, I say that, but at one point I thought he was about to indulge himself at my expense with a lengthy anecdote. I however managed to interject and tell an anecdote of my own!

[Bigyin]

I once sold a car to a Lithuanian bloke who turned up with 5 big mates who all started gabbering in own language and surrounding me for the hopeful intimidation until the designated English speaker walked forward and said “new price” and offered to pay me 250 quid less than already agreed. I said “ok, new price if you want” to which he looked smug till I said 250 more than agreed already. His Lithuanian buyer mate then went apeshit at him and we went back to agreed price. Same bloke then put a wad of cash on the car so I counted it and it was 50 quid short so gave it back and started getting in the car to leave. Again his buyer mate goes apeshit and smiles apologetically.

To hand over the V5 and among the gabbering I hear the word “scriba” or similar to which I hold out a pen for them. The assorted mates all instantly think I speak their lingo and shut up talking and walk back to the van they all arrived in. Car sold for the price I wanted and no doubt left the country a day or so later

[1913]

My sales tactic is simple, "Do you want to waste time bartering or shall I just give you the final, not a penny less price?"

If they try it on after that I just tell them this is not the item for you.

[Taff]

I've just remembered about the guy that bought our Skoda, 120k mile car selling for £1200 which was roughly what the dealer offered in PX.

This guy turns up, pops the bonnet and fiddles around down by the washer fluid bottle, 5 mins later he starts it up and announces that the alternator light is on so must be fucked.

I looked under where he had been fiddling and re-connected the connector that he had disconnected and unbelievably the alternator fault cleared

FFS it was a decent car that we were practically giving away.

[MyLittleStudPony]

I'm (slightly) relieved it's not just me.

One of the kids Hondas I was selling a few months back, one buyer who turned up was clearly a traveller. He spent some time telling me how good he was at boxing. I don't know if he thought I would drop the price or what. But the price remained the same and he paid it.

[MyLittleStudPony]

I'm also not keen on people who haggle or ask for a best price before they've seen the thing. It pretty much seems to be the done thing nowadays though.

I've taken to telling them "If someone offered me xxx in cash today, I'd take it." Maybe tomorrow it will be different but I don't say that.

I've noticed some dealers now no longer reduce the price at all, like they used to bake in the day and some add some bullshit document fee of £99 or £149 or something. I guess a lower price gets people to travel, then they've in some way committed.

[Yorick]

I've noticed some dealers now no longer reduce the price at all, like they used to bake in the day and some add some bullshit document fee of £99 or £149 or something. I guess a lower price gets people to travel, then they've in some way committed.

Was reading today that sort of stuff is gonna be outlawed
Show the real price up front. No adding loads of site at checkout time.

[ZRX61]

The correct response is "You've wasted enough of my time, fuck off & waste someone elses"