What have you done today thread?

[the_priest]

Got togged up in my full regalia and took my part in the funeral and crematorium service for a dear friend of mine. She passed away aged 91 and until cancer interferred with her life two years ago you would have thought she was in her 60's. An amazing lady, RIP dear Pat, see you on the other side.

[cheb]

Got waved at by a nice policeman. Well I was doing at least 80mph on the M5 and he pulled alongside, gave a flash of the blues and waved in a downwards manner.

I took the hint.

NACAB.

[Mussels]

Got waved at by a nice policeman. Well I was doing at least 80mph on the M5 and he pulled alongside, gave a flash of the blues and waved in a downwards manner.

I took the hint.

NACAB.

I've had that a lot more than I've had fines, I like to think it's because they know they will never catch me.

[Wreckless Rat]

TLDR version: Got breathalysed... by lying midget, potential CV19 risk

Long version:

Pull into Tesco's car park, collect phone from holder, look at text that has come through while driving. I notice a figure by my door, and clock it's the filth... I wind down the window

PC :"Hello, do you know why I stopped you"

Me: *quizzical look* "Ummm, I was just parking to go into the shop"

PC: "well I pulled you over because you failed to stop at the stop sign in church street"

Me: "church street?"

PC: "Yes, the stop sign, your wheels have to come to a stop, you didn't stop"

Me: "There isn't a stop sign in Church street"

PC: "yes there is"

me: "well I have to admit, I have no idea where you mean then"

PC: "Next to Greggs, opposite the mere, you come out of it facing the mere"

(me thinks - well that's chapel street, the road off church street)*

Me: "Isn't that.... (thinks better of it) Oh...I'm pretty sure I stopped, I always do owing to not being able to see pedestrians"

PC Liar: "you didn't even slow down" (this utter bollocks - its a proper T junction from a minor back street, if you didn't slow down you mow down the pedestrians and end up in the mere)

Me: "I'm pretty sure I did, I'm pretty anal about stopping there as it goes but ok.. "

PC Liar: "Do you have your licence on you"

Me: "Yes I do as it goes, hold on" *passes licence

PC Liar "Ill be back"

Me: *sniggers and thinks to myself, you're all of 5'0" hardly Arnie*

PC Liar: "have you been drinking"

Me: "looks at watch... it's 12 o'clock fella, no of course not"

PC Liar then proceeds to breathalyse me..and I of course blow a zero.

PC Liar: "take this as a warning, I only warn once"

Me thinks oooOOOOOooo scary man...

Now... I'm not overly bothered about being "stopped" (he didn't - he followed me into a car park) and not over bothered with his lies, I guess there's not much to do in a dead rural town at lunchtime...

However, I didn't think of this at the time, I was too busy being slightly miffed at his lies and not even knowing what road he was on. But, the tube he made me blow into, he had clearly undone and fitted to the machine. In the light of CV19.. I should have told him to go and get a freshly sealed one and let ME open it, after all, I have no idea if he was carrying the plague or not, nor whether the tube was sealed, where he touched it, etc etc etc..

I could now be "the infected"

[Horse]

I could now be "the infected"

That's a really upsetting story.

Because

I can't ride bikes any more
I don't drink leaded coffee

So, if you get deaded, what can I have dibs on

GWS Wratty

[chillitt]

Set about an innocent bit of racking with a hammer.

[Nobby]

I’m at Brands Hatch
I got wet
I’m here tomorrow
I’ll probably get wet
Sunday looks much the same
I’m guessing I could get wet

[Skub]

Set about an innocent bit of racking with a hammer.

Sell it as a Damien Hirst original.

[chillitt]

Set about an innocent bit of racking with a hammer.

Sell it as a Damien Hirst original.

I think I'm going to need to hit it some more.

[David]

Set about an innocent bit of racking with a hammer.

Sell it as a Damien Hirst original.

I think I'm going to need to hit it some more.

It might need a dead sheep or two.

[Skub]

Autumn is here.

[Taipan]

Started decorating. We're giving the bathroom a temporary makeover before it gets tiled early next year! She painted the wood panelling charcoal grey. I said it looks like a fecking coal hole. That went down well!

[v8-powered]

My son moved in to uni accommodation yesterday so popped over to see his new gaff, ended up taking him to Tesco and getting mugged for his shopping bill

[Scotsrich]

My son moved in to uni accommodation yesterday so popped over to see his new gaff, ended up taking him to Tesco and getting mugged for his shopping bill

Did that every time I went to visit my youngest daughter.

As well as took her out for a meal.

Oh and slip her a few quid as well.

Further education proved to be expensive.

[v8-powered]

My son moved in to uni accommodation yesterday so popped over to see his new gaff, ended up taking him to Tesco and getting mugged for his shopping bill

Did that every time I went to visit my youngest daughter.

As well as took her out for a meal.

Oh and slip her a few quid as well.

Further education proved to be expensive.

I'm sure its going to be a costly 3 or 4 years!

[KungFooBob]

Stood in Waterstones. Pointed out N. K. Jemisin's Fifth Season to the wife and advised her she should read it.

To which she agreed.

Only the wife had walked off two minutes earlier and I was stood next to some random woman of a similar height.

[David]

Autumn is here.

Living in the cambrians at 1300 feet that happens most nights....hence the 8 tonnes of wood we currently have.

[David]

Stood in Waterstones. Pointed out N. K. Jemisin's Fifth Season to the wife and advised her she should read it.

To which she agreed.

Only the wife had walked off two minutes earlier and I was stood next to some random woman of a similar height.

Did you get a date to review the book?

[Jody]

The guests have all gone, I've cleaned every mobile and sorted the reception and stores.

Sadly I can't deliver fresh gas bottles to the mobiles as the bottom part of the campsite is flooded....



That river is about 15 feet wide and 8-10 feet deep. It's normally 2 feet wide and about 5-6 inches !







The water has come in from a flooded fishing lake off to the left of those mock palm umbrellas.

My gas bottle store is about 50 metres the other side !!





The blue water slide has a flat 'exit ramp' under there somewhere !



and it's still raining !

So tomorrow I just have to clean the live mobile, there's a few drinks to say goodbye and then Tuesday I'll be heading north! I'll probably be in the Uk in a week or so, then 14 days quarantine......

[David]

Have you somewhere to isolate?