Things your other half says

[Bowman]

A news announcement came over the local radio that there was a kangaroo on the loose. Mrs Bowman pipes up "That's weird, you'd think it would be a giraffe".
We live in Caerphilly.

[MrLongbeard]

I've just had to spend 4 minutes trying to explain why my wife would be wasting her time and money by putting my summer mesh jacket through a waterproofing wash

[cheb]

I've just had to spend 4 minutes trying to explain why my wife would be wasting her time and money by putting my summer mesh jacket through a waterproofing wash

Are you expecting a dry summer this year then?

[MrLongbeard]

Are you expecting a dry summer this year then?

Of course, so far the Harley has only been rained on once

[Count Steer]

Mine just said 'You weren't really listening were you?'

I thought ''That's an odd way to start a conversation'.

[gremlin]

Mrs G will often ask my opinion when cooking any meat.

Her: How long to you think these chick breasts will take in the oven?

Me: Maybe 20 minutes.

Her: No!! They'll take longer than that. We don't want under-cooked chicken.

Me: Give them 25 minutes then.

Her: No. I'm going to do them for 30 minutes.



Yesterday was similar....

Her: Do you want black beans or kidney beans in this?

Me: Kidney beans.

Her: No, I'm going to put black beans in it.


I really have no idea why she even asks.

[Bigyin]

Driving past a massive stationary wind turbine the other day when there was no wind and the missus says …… “if there isn’t any wind why don’t they just use electric to turn it, it must have a motor in it”

#facepalm

[Jody]

Mrs G will often ask my opinion when cooking any meat.

Her: How long to you think these chick breasts will take in the oven?

Me: Maybe 20 minutes.

Her: No!! They'll take longer than that. We don't want under-cooked chicken.

Me: Give them 25 minutes then.

Her: No. I'm going to do them for 30 minutes.



Yesterday was similar....

Her: Do you want black beans or kidney beans in this?

Me: Kidney beans.

Her: No, I'm going to put black beans in it.


I really have no idea why she even asks.

In a similar style. My Ex, a chef, "Hey honey" I ask " How long should I cook this fish for?"

" Well roughly, not very long" she replied

[Horse]

Driving past a massive stationary wind turbine the other day when there was no wind and the missus says …… “if there isn’t any wind why don’t they just use electric to turn it, it must have a motor in it”

#facepalm

You might not wish to say it to her, but she's maybe half right.

IIRC they use electric motors to get them moving before the wind takes over. Also IIRC they can be 'driven' to dump spare power.

You'd need to Google to confirm.

[petrolpete]

"Just now" which to any english speaking person should mean immediately, but to Safa's means sometimes soon.

African Time.jpg (42.03 KiB) Viewed 726 times

[Jody]

"Do you have any smaller headphones I can use"

There's some in ear type ones on that hook there

" Are they bluetooth "

Well there's no aux connection, so I guess they must be !

[Taipan]

When the CB1000R arrived I put the Ducati in the back garden and locked the CB out the front. My wife arrived home, so I pointed at the bike and said, what do you reckon?
She said about what?
I said the new bike?
She said the same as the other one isn't it?
I laughed and said, its nothing like it!
She said its red with 2 wheels. that's all I see!



Makes me wonder if I could sneak some exotica in without her noticing!

[DefTrap]

When the CB1000R arrived I put the Ducati in the back garden and locked the CB out the front. My wife arrived home, so I pointed at the bike and said, what do you reckon?
She said about what?
I said the new bike?
She said the same as the other one isn't it?
I laughed and said, its nothing like it!
She said its red with 2 wheels. that's all I see!



Makes me wonder if I could sneak some exotica in without her noticing!

You mug! - she's doing the same to you with shoes, bags and hairdos.!

[Taipan]

When the CB1000R arrived I put the Ducati in the back garden and locked the CB out the front. My wife arrived home, so I pointed at the bike and said, what do you reckon?
She said about what?
I said the new bike?
She said the same as the other one isn't it?
I laughed and said, its nothing like it!
She said its red with 2 wheels. that's all I see!



Makes me wonder if I could sneak some exotica in without her noticing!

You mug! - she's doing the same to you with shoes, bags and hairdos.!

I'm well aware of her parcels since she discovered internet shopping, but kind of relieved as she cant say anything about mine!

[Demannu]

We're doing reno work on the gaffe. She, in her infinite wisdom has decided the wood floor needs sanding and a recoat (90m2)
Anyhow, to see if she likes the colour she's bought!!!!!!! the coffee table has been sacrificed.
So I'm applying the colour and she's stood there, with that cross armed stance that women have and she's says 'you did stir it didn't you?'

[Count Steer]

We're doing reno work on the gaffe. She, in her infinite wisdom has decided the wood floor needs sanding and a recoat (90m2)
Anyhow, to see if she likes the colour she's bought!!!!!!! the coffee table has been sacrificed.
So I'm applying the colour and she's stood there, with that cross armed stance that women have and she's says 'you did stir it didn't you?'

Oh yeah. 'The bra-reinforcement stance'.

[Pirahna]

On the far side of the mountain where I live is a marble quarry. It's huge, hundreds of metres high and a couple of kilometers wide, you can even Google Streetview around the place. Have a look on Google Maps for Alguena and you'll very easily see it.

Driving down a road towards the quarry this morning, wifey says "does it grow back"?

[Horse]

Filly telling the phone alarm to "Shhhhhh!"

[KungFooBob]

I cleaned this dishwasher and now it's showing error code hr-01, can you Google it?

She had pressed the delayed start button by accident and set it to start in one hours time.

[Sadlonelygit]

WE are going on a 5 day juicing detox!

When's this? I enquire

NOW!

If anyone knows of a deliveroo that comes anywhere near 24350 in France, I'd like a family pizza, several curries and some mcnuggets for the dog please!