Depression

[Noggin]

Docca's written some really good info (of course ) - it's taken me nearly 40 years to work out even half of that!! Especially the 'depression is essentially normal' bit.

Just thought of something I find settled my mind really well, making wiring looms for classic bikes, most people hate doing this, I find it very relaxing (but I wouldn't want to do it for a living)

I also enjoy playing with Lego and making model aeroplanes, perhaps the 12 year old me knew something about what relaxes my mind.

I'm similar. If I do things that require complete concentration, I can really feel things being a bit better. Like a meditation, only with wool and a crochet hook or threads and needles!! Yoga isn't necessary!! Even baking helps me!!

Riding a bike has been my go to for years - I treat that like a meditation sort of thing, in that all my concentration is on the road/bike so my mind is focused (similar when I ski tour on the piste too ). But currently, because of the difficulties of riding down the mountain, it can't be my first port of call still. But the craft stuff does help me a lot

[Yorick]

One thing I learned from my doc and CBT is to concentrate on the positives in my life. Think about them to lift your mood a bit. Spread your happiness to get yourself out of that black hole you can't climb out of.
If folk don't like it, that's their problem. I won't stop.

Folk on here and IRL harang me for it sometimes but I won't stop because they have a problem. Sometimes you have to be selfish.

If I was stuck in Bradford I'd be in a real mess. Living here lightens the load. And the mood.

[Potter]

My theory is that we're fairly simple creatures that work on reward pathways to create the right physical and chemical balance, it's basic stuff, we need things to keep us alive, we get a release of chemicals to reward us when we find them - it's a struggle for most creatures to stay alive and we're wired the same way. If you have plenty of food, shelter, safety, warmth, etc, that reward pathway ends up a bit broken and our self-awareness means you then start to ask questions like "Why am I here?", "What's it all about?", etc.

A common method to deal with this is to tell people to accept the things they cannot change, don't worry about wars, inflation, etc, because apparently you can't change them - it isn't true because it's other human beings changing these things, so you could as well if you wanted to - but to be fair it can work, there are actual therapies based on this and if you can get your head around it then many actually believe that you can't change things and that gives them some peace.
It's the easiest and least challenging method, so it's worth a try to see if it works. There are other alternatives, there are many variations on accepting a higher power, or just general acceptance.

Or you could try and recreate that reward pathway with a goal orientated approach - personally I found this to be the hardest and most consuming (but most rewarding) solution. Short term quick wins and long term big goals, hard ones, the sort of goals that make other people mock you for being too ambitious - the big goals have to mimic the criticality/importance of food/shelter to stimulate the reward pathways - unfortunately they feed anxiety like a massive monster but you can't have it all your own way

[slowsider]

Potter is the Man from La Mancha, and I claim my soapy tenner.

[Jody]

Best of luck with it Scud, maybe some kind of therapy might help, it's helping me.

[Yorick]

And I have to go to a clinic in PdC early tmrw or Thursday and will have to go on the bike as impossible to park. I'm thinking of keeping going and heading over to Fuertaventura for the day. Not been off the island on the bike this year.

Still smiling Just hope my mood doesn't drop as amazing roads over there.

After the blood tests I was feeling good so headed down to the ferry at PB.
Got there 10:45 to see the ferry leaving. No probs they're every half hour. Bugger. Not today apparently. Next ferry 1:00. Bollox.

So decided to have a tour of our island.
Just having best fish butty on the island at a small fishing port.

Cool

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[Yorick]

Had a cool ride. Called at a pals for a beer. And just had another pal want to meet for a few beers soon.
Today is a good day

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[Count Steer]

'I’ve also taken the decision and removed all social media from my phone, I feel I waste way too much time scrolling through everyone showing off their “perfect” lives'

Probably not the thread to show how wonderful things are?

[Noggin]

'I’ve also taken the decision and removed all social media from my phone, I feel I waste way too much time scrolling through everyone showing off their “perfect” lives'

Probably not the thread to show how wonderful things are?

I thought it was showing what he does to help deal with is issues, not particularly how wonderful things are.

We all have things people look at and think 'aren't they lucky' - those people don't know what goes on in our brains though

[Count Steer]

'I’ve also taken the decision and removed all social media from my phone, I feel I waste way too much time scrolling through everyone showing off their “perfect” lives'

Probably not the thread to show how wonderful things are?

I thought it was showing what he does to help deal with is issues, not particularly how wonderful things are.

We all have things people look at and think 'aren't they lucky' - those people don't know what goes on in our brains though

Pictures of sun, sand and sandwiches are going to be of great solace to the original poster. After all, it was Scud that started the thread and made the comment above^^^ He can't exactly ignore his own thread can he?

[Greenman]

I've always thought that depression is all about the bassline!

There is always a subconscious baseline that your conscious thoughts are influenced by.

There are baselines that are constant in your life and others that come and go and those that you cant control.

Those less constant thoughts/baselines can trigger things in your brain to give you good or bad moods that can lead to elation or depression, it's your choice!

This is where life's complications can be overcome, as the thoughts are in your hands, so you can choose to be happy or sad!

I like to think positive!

[Potter]

Probably not the thread to show how wonderful things are?

I don't see that at all, I think Yorick is saying he has his demons and this is how he deals with them.
I never get tired of seeing his pictures, I'm genuinely pleased for anyone that has worked smart and ended up in a good place, looking at others and being pleased for them, rather than resentful, even if you have to force it a bit, is a good way to start healing yourself.

On the other side of the coin, I'm not a fan of the completely false social media crowd, I think it adds to unrealistic expectations for young people.

I spent two hours sat with a mate yesterday whilst he poured his heart out, he's got a perfect life on paper but sometimes things just get a bit much if you're trying to be all things to all people. He was beating himself up for not being invincible and I think the guilt of not being able to manage is half of the problem when you end up in a hole with anxiety or depression. If it was normalised so you didn't feel bad about it and compound the issue then that would solve half the problem.

We're all in the same boat really, it just shows in different ways in different people.

[Jody]

I'm genuinely pleased for anyone that has worked smart and ended up in a good place

+1 for that !

A friend of one of my best mate's stated openly while stood at my friends property " I can't stay here too long, I'm jealous " with out an iota of sarcasm/ banter etc he really meant it. I waited until he fucked off then told my mate "I'm not jealous, I'm pleased for you, you've had some rough times in your life and you've still achieved all this". I believe that's why we're besties and his other friend is just another friend!

[Le_Fromage_Grande]

A friend of one of my best mate's stated openly while stood at my friends property " I can't stay here too long, I'm jealous " with out an iota of sarcasm/ banter etc he really meant it.

At least he had the decency to admit it, a lot of people don't and then try to put down what someone else has because they're jealous.

[Yorick]

A friend of one of my best mate's stated openly while stood at my friends property " I can't stay here too long, I'm jealous " with out an iota of sarcasm/ banter etc he really meant it.

At least he had the decency to admit it, a lot of people don't and then try to put down what someone else has because they're jealous.

I've lost count of the times folk here and TRC have tried to drag me down when I proclaim to be happy. Sad really.

[Potter]

At it's core it's an honest emotion like any other, sometimes humans have a tendency to look at other people and feel envy or resentment, it's even in the bible, so it's been going on for a while.

We don't always get to choose which emotions accost us, so sometimes we have to work on managing them.
No one is immune to envy and resentment, but you'll definitely end up happier if you can manage it and view others without it.

[Yorick]

At it's core it's an honest emotion like any other, sometimes humans have a tendency to look at other people and feel envy or resentment, it's even in the bible, so it's been going on for a while.

We don't always get to choose which emotions accost us, so sometimes we have to work on managing them.
No one is immune to envy and resentment, but you'll definitely end up happier if you can manage it and view others without it.

I always remember some advice I was given just after I started work at 16.

Don't try to drag folk down to your level.
Try to climb up to their level.

Works for me still.

[Potter]

A friend of one of my best mate's stated openly while stood at my friends property " I can't stay here too long, I'm jealous " with out an iota of sarcasm/ banter etc he really meant it.

At least he had the decency to admit it, a lot of people don't and then try to put down what someone else has because they're jealous.

I think it's ok to show off a bit and not get shredded for it.

You spend all your life, especially as a child, being told to work hard, get good grades, get good exam passes, get a good job, etc.
Then when you do and occasionally say "Hey I've adhered to everything you espoused and I've now got all the things you told me to strive for" - you get called a wanker for it

Basically, you could be a potless criminal or a billionaire, none of it really matters, someone is going to call you a wanker for it regardless.

[Yorick]

A friend of one of my best mate's stated openly while stood at my friends property " I can't stay here too long, I'm jealous " with out an iota of sarcasm/ banter etc he really meant it.

At least he had the decency to admit it, a lot of people don't and then try to put down what someone else has because they're jealous.

I think it's ok to show off a bit and not get shredded for it.

You spend all your life, especially as a child, being told to work hard, get good grades, get good exam passes, get a good job, etc.
Then when you do and occasionally say "Hey I've adhered to everything you espoused and I've now got all the things you told me to strive for" - you get called a wanker for it

Basically, you could be a potless criminal or a billionaire, none of it really matters, someone is going to call you a wanker for it regardless.

Wanker

[tricol]

I empathise a lot with this thread. I've had depression, and in more recent years anxiety, for most of my adult life. It's just now so embedded in me that I feel it's just the way I am now.