Online secrets.

[Scotsrich]

Not as dramatic as it sounds but do you share log in details or have access to emails, bank accounts, forums etc. with your partner?

This point actually came up when my wife was talking to a solicitor on the phone during our last house sale and she shouted to me ‘have you got my bank details there’ which he obviously overheard. This seemingly raised alarm bells and she actually got a second call from him later asking if everything was okay as they have been trained to spot signs of coercion and this was one of them.

I thought that was very considerate of them and my wife was able to reassure him.

Anyway..long story short my wife told him we each have access to the others emails, bank accounts etc. I’ve got her email on my phone/iPad and she’s got mine. In fact we’ve got a password book with quite literally them all written down.

He seemed surprised at this but my wife’s answer was ‘why shouldn’t we? It comes in handy sometimes.

Now I’m wondering if we’re the odd ones?

[cheb]

Nope, they are mine and mine alone.

[Mr. Dazzle]

No we don't.

Not by any particular design, it just never occurred to me to do it. Feels a bit odd, like sharing toothbrushes.

[weeksy]

Not secret as such, just never shared them.

[the_priest]

We have access to each others emails and facebook. Joint account, joint mortgage and all that. No secrets, all money is shared and spent according to need, not want. Perfectly normal I think.

[Yorick]

Pen has all my details and moves money about as necessary.

[KungFooBob]

We share a joint bank account, all wages get paid into it.

She knows the passwords I use for most things and I know all hers.

She knows the pin for my phone and I know hers.

It's not all done deliberately, it's just kind of happened over time and is convenient.

[Mr. Dazzle]

We have some joint accounts and joint mortgage but we don't have "full" joint finances. We've just never seen the need, we're not even with the same bank! With modern online banking etc. there's nothing to be gained really IMO.

I suppose we're just "split" because today it makes no difference. We know all about each other's doings etc. but we've never consciously gone to the effort of joining stuff.

[Horse]

Joint current and savings accounts
Same PIN on our phones (each with own email accounts)

[Mr. Dazzle]

My missus knows my pin codes for all cards, she knows who I bank with and what's in there but she doesn't have passwords.
I don't know anything of hers, because I'm not interested, what's hers is hers and what's mine is hers - apparently.

I've told Mrs D my PINs loads of times, I'd be amazed if she remembers them

P.S. it's all a bit moot saying "everything is shared". We're married with children, so even if we didn't want to share stuff we would still have to. Even if I tried to I couldn't just fuck off and take my money leaving her with nowt. And neither could she...

[Wreckless Rat]

A mix. We have access to each others phones, joint bank account for household stuff inc joint mortgage, own banks for savings and day to day personal stuff, but she knows my PIN for my current account, we share a bed...she opens my mail because I am terrible at doing so, I don't undo my own, let alone have any interest in hers

Emails - not by any design, I have no reason to see her emails, nor her mine - not for any particular reason other than we have our own.

Parcels are generally opened by either the person the ordered them (what if its a surprise etc) or my daughter, who loves opening parcels.

Pretty average set up I think.

[cheb]

Joint bank accounts, current and saving, here, which is nice as she earns way more than I do. I also have other personal bank accounts, and I assume she does too.

Everything else is very private, I wouldn't open anyone else's post unless given express permission, nor will I listen to answerphone messages that are obviously for someone else. I don't need to know , and I don't want to know.

[Yorick]

I take care of our investments. She takes care of the banks.
I know vaguely how much we have in banks from last house sale , but not even sure who's accounts it's in.

She brings a few grand over each month for spends.

If I wanted a new bike, I'd just tell her to make sure funds are in the right place to pay for it.

She opens all the mail.

I have anxiety problems and I'm happy for her to do it all on my behalf.