One For Bigyin & Co

[Yorick]

+++ Retired police officers immediately recalled back to duty+++++

My retired colleagues,

You will be aware that there have been serious outbreaks of Covid-19 across the UK, which is resulting in the immediate mandatory requirement for all retired police officers to return to duty.

The HM Government has issued a decree that all retired Police Officers who have served in a UK police force will be required to report to the HQ of the force they previously served with.
Here they will be issued with appropriate uniform and equipment to enable them to join serving officers on the front line, dealing with the current situation.
According to their physical condition they will be issued with specially designed Zimmer frames, walking sticks, walking frames, wheelchairs & mobility scooters.

Where possible such items will be marked with Force insignia and blue & white chequered tape.

In addition, mobility scooters will be fitted with blue lights and wailers.
Airwave radios have been adapted to accept a connection to hearing aids.

The Government accepts that there will be a need to provide additional specialist equipment, and incontinence pads will be available at a reasonable cost.

There will not be sufficient time to issue new warrant cards, but bus passes will be accepted instead.

SAGA have agreed to provide specialist Public Order vans equipped with ramps and tail-lifts. These will be appropriately marked as "OAPi Police Unit" (an abbreviation of 'Old And Past It") and they will be limited to 20mph so as not to alarm the passengers.

For those who are visually impaired, Guide Dogs will be accepted as Police Dogs. Asthma inhalers can be used instead of CS spray. Walking sticks are an acceptable alternative to batons.

In acknowledgement of the years of experience such a group will have, all OAP officers will automatically be given the rank that they retired with.

In recognition of the tremendous boost to the Police Service that your involvement will provide, your Pension will be increased by 40p per month during the current situation.

In order to comply with the Government Order, YOU ARE HEREBY COMMANDED to report to Police HQ at 9.00hrs on Monday 23rd March 2020.

By Order Boris Johnson
Prime Minister

This Order is also available in large print.

[Bigyin]

You twat


In other news it could still happen

[Horse]

You twat


In other news it could still happen

Gedge was trying to arrange something similar.

[Bigyin]

You twat


In other news it could still happen

Gedge was trying to arrange something similar.

Gedge has a lot of contacts who recently retired from his former force, He was compiling a list to submit to management should it be needed.

The main issue is once you retire you lose the warranted powers so calling people back would require them all to be sworn in again as warranted officers and a few other problems. Easier to make them "staff" and release office wankers, who have been hiding for years, out onto the streets which will involve some kicking and screaming from quite a few

[Horse]

Gedge was trying to arrange something similar.

Gedge has a lot of contacts who recently retired from his former force, He was compiling a list to submit to management should it be needed.

The main issue is once you retire you lose the warranted powers so calling people back would require them all to be sworn in again as warranted officers and a few other problems. Easier to make them "staff" and release office wankers, who have been hiding for years, out onto the streets which will involve some kicking and screaming from quite a few

A minor technicality; your definition of similar is just slightly more complicated than mine

[Yambo]

Retired police officers are in a high risk category iirc. Life expectancy following retirement is only about 15 years or so.

[Skub]

Retired police officers are in a high risk category iirc. Life expectancy following retirement is only about 15 years or so.

Yeah but that's probably payback rather than virus related.