revtothelimit - motorbike forum

Nothing to do with marriage really, but I just heard on the TV that around 50% of teenagers do not live with both parents! I had no idea the figures were that high! I guess if the relationship is toxic, then the kids are best brought up away from that, bit those figure make me think that many aren't exactly commiting to parenthood!?

That's a shame for them in truth, but must admit doesn't echo what i see or know of around here, i'd put people i know at closer to 10% of couples.

Wonder what the cause is though, people are just less tolerant than previously ?

How many boys are being brought up with no father figure for guidance and counsel? Could explain a lot about current issues.

IMO after boomers, each generation has become more focused on rights and wants, rather than responsibilities. Grow up in a hippy household back in the day and you never learned how to work at finding compromises. Not sure where society is going, but it doesn't look good.

OTOH perhaps I am just a BOF.

It's definitely better to be living with one or other than both if they hate each other !!

But always sad and usually the kids get an earful of abuse about the other parent, but some kids get through ok, mostly

Noggin wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:12 pm It's definitely better to be living with one or other than both if they hate each other !!

But always sad and usually the kids get an earful of abuse about the other parent, but some kids get through ok, mostly

I get to see kids that are clocking up long suspensions or exclusions from school. Most seem to be the product of broken homes, some have some very serious problems and are unlikely to ever mature into normal adults. Cause and effect??? I don't know, but it cannot help.

The internet tells me divorce rates are in decline after reaching a peak in the 80s and 90s.

That single statistic doesn't tell us how many children are damaged in a home where the parents are still married,but constantly rowing. I suppose those dealing with primary school kids onwards will see a much clearer picture.

Adults fall out with each other all through a lifetime,marriage is a massive commitment for both parties,but how they raise the kids they brought into this world will either help society,or break it.

Cousin Jack wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:28 pm

Noggin wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:12 pm It's definitely better to be living with one or other than both if they hate each other !!

But always sad and usually the kids get an earful of abuse about the other parent, but some kids get through ok, mostly

I get to see kids that are clocking up long suspensions or exclusions from school. Most seem to be the product of broken homes, some have some very serious problems and are unlikely to ever mature into normal adults. Cause and effect??? I don't know, but it cannot help.

Oh I should put it to cause and effect. Three of us are barely functioning adults !! Two of us make a better show of functioning, one thinks they do!! But it really put me off relationships/commitment despite being the only one of the three of us that actually wanted to get married and have kids (and now the only one that didn't!!)

Don't think we had suspensions or exclusions, but emotional issues for sure

Skub wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:48 pm The internet tells me divorce rates are in decline after reaching a peak in the 80s and 90s.

That single statistic doesn't tell us how many children are damaged in a home where the parents are still married,but constantly rowing. I suppose those dealing with primary school kids onwards will see a much clearer picture.

Adults fall out with each other all through a lifetime,marriage is a massive commitment for both parties,but how they raise the kids they brought into this world will either help society,or break it.

Simplistic maybe, but marriage rates have also been in decline for a fair while, stand to reason that divorce rates would follow.

32 yrs married this year.......

Nordboy wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 4:16 pm 32 yrs married this year.......

45 for me. I can remember when I thought 45 was old,never mind married that long.

Cousin Jack wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:28 pm

Noggin wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:12 pm It's definitely better to be living with one or other than both if they hate each other !!

But always sad and usually the kids get an earful of abuse about the other parent, but some kids get through ok, mostly

I get to see kids that are clocking up long suspensions or exclusions from school. Most seem to be the product of broken homes, some have some very serious problems and are unlikely to ever mature into normal adults. Cause and effect??? I don't know, but it cannot help.

When Filly was still a classroom teacher, she said there was often noticeable deterioration in the class even before parents announced their split.

My parents got divorced in the early 70's.I won't go into the details here, but there were street fights & a lot of stuff that made me cynical about the sanctity of marriage,social workers were involved.My dad got it together with my step mum & her two kids & we moved out of the area,I've got two younger sisters & my mother's side of the family never saw us again,apart from one occasion in the mid 80's when my mother's brother & wife were invited to my youngest sister's wedding & they still couldn't invite my mother to the wedding as there would have been a kick off .
I felt sorry for my mother as she never knew that she had 3 grand sons.One conversation I had with my youngest sister the other year went like this,ME 'After our mad upbringing I decided I would only get married if I got my girlfriend pregnant' Youngest Sister,'Our upbringing was so bad that I was determined to have my own family'.'
When I was at school I didn't know anyone else who's parents were divorced,(not saying they were living in domestic bliss),but lots of friends of my age are divorced or split up,in fact I was made god parent twice & both times the parents split up,so in my circles it's common..

'Current issues'. Things were better at certain times many decades ago because...

Aren't we trying to avoid this sort of thing...?



Perhaps things and people were better in the past. Perhaps we could go back to the times when homosexuality was illegal and women didn't have the vote.

MyLittleStudPony wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 5:28 pm 'Current issues'. Things were better at certain times many decades ago because...

Aren't we trying to avoid this sort of thing...?



Perhaps things and people were better in the past. Perhaps we could go back to the times when homosexuality was illegal and women didn't have the vote.

We were trying to have a civilised discussion. Of course if you want to drag it back to a fight about homosexuality and women's rights I am sure Weeksy will lock it.

Married 50 years this July. We were extremely young and told it won't last. They were very nearly correct on numerous occasions. We had to work hard at our relationship and learn to accommodate one another. After 10 years or so we had two kids and now have three grandchildren and our lives are stressed once again.
Across my family we've seen 7 of our nephews and nieces split from their respective partners .
I do think that the generations that followed us are less inclined to work at relationships but there are others who seem to stay together and essentially tolerate one another. Not sure what's worse?

My ex got full custody on the kid when she was 13. Ex & her new victim apparently only communicated by shouting at each other all the time.
Kid went from a Straight A student to barely passing her classes in 6 months. She was going to get held back a year in HS until she somehow managed to get 200% on a test on the last day.

Kids really shouldn't suffer if adults behave as adults, but unfortunately they often don't. I used to see people at CA who tried to weoponize their kids to punish their ex partner.

Personally I have been married for getting in for 60 years now, so the missus deserves a medal.

Some people are better off apart and sometimes their kids are better off away from a toxic environment.

Nordboy wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 4:16 pm

Skub wrote: Tue Feb 03, 2026 1:48 pm The internet tells me divorce rates are in decline after reaching a peak in the 80s and 90s.

That single statistic doesn't tell us how many children are damaged in a home where the parents are still married,but constantly rowing. I suppose those dealing with primary school kids onwards will see a much clearer picture.

Adults fall out with each other all through a lifetime,marriage is a massive commitment for both parties,but how they raise the kids they brought into this world will either help society,or break it.

Simplistic maybe, but marriage rates have also been in decline for a fair while, stand to reason that divorce rates would follow.

32 yrs married this year.......

The survey didn't mention marriage.
The more I work with statistics the less I trust them at face value.
Our last remaining teenager doesn't live with either parent as he's at uni, I wonder if the survey would assume/imply he's from a broken home?

My divorce is pending finalisation. I never thought it would end up like that but hey ho life throws waves at you and what does not kill you makes you stronger. Onwards and upwards.