Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Noggin]

MiL and her passive aggressive manipulative texts to my wife.

They are the worst. I’ve got an M like that, only she uses silence as much as messages - whilst I’m sad for her that she’s on her own, I’m bloody glad I’m a good days travel away!!!

[MrLongbeard]

Can I mention my step-dad again? Please...please..!

Family wedding on Saturday. My mum has a new frock and has had her hair done. Mrs. Gremlin greets her and compliments her. She turns to my step-dad and says, 'Doesn't Maggie look lovely today?!'

His reply: 'Well, that's your opinion'

Could he take a break from being a total cunt for just one day..? Obviously not.

A swift kick to the nads should adjust his temperament.

[gremlin]

Can I mention my step-dad again? Please...please..!

Family wedding on Saturday. My mum has a new frock and has had her hair done. Mrs. Gremlin greets her and compliments her. She turns to my step-dad and says, 'Doesn't Maggie look lovely today?!'

His reply: 'Well, that's your opinion'

Could he take a break from being a total cunt for just one day..? Obviously not.

A swift kick to the nads should adjust his temperament.

For a few decades now I've kept my temper in check. However, his growing cuntiness and my ever-decreasing tolerance of cunts is only going to go one way...

[Silly Car]

Can I mention my step-dad again? Please...please..!

Family wedding on Saturday. My mum has a new frock and has had her hair done. Mrs. Gremlin greets her and compliments her. She turns to my step-dad and says, 'Doesn't Maggie look lovely today?!'

His reply: 'Well, that's your opinion'

Could he take a break from being a total cunt for just one day..? Obviously not.

You know the deal, bung KFB a monkey and job, jobbed.

[Saga Lout]

I received an answerphone message this morning:
"I'm calling for [my name]. I'm [garbled] working with [garbled] team about your appointment".

I don't have an appointment scheduled for today but I do get follow up reviews every 6 months or so with the prostate cancer team. It's been about 6 months since the last one so I guessed that was what it was about. I called the hospital: "Press 1 for... press 2 for... etc" so I pressed the appropriate number and "*Thank you for calling, all our agents are busy with other calls, please wait [music] repeat from *" for about 5 minutes then "You are number one in the queue", back to "all our agents are busy...". Another 10 minutes: "You are next in the queue..." Another 5 minutes and I hung up.

We spend £billions on the NHS and they can't even hire somebody to answer the bloody phone. (Or somebody with the gumption to change the bloody message when there's nobody to answer the bloody phone.)

[Horse]

"Press 1 for... press 2 for... etc" so I pressed the appropriate number and "*Thank you for calling, all our agents are busy with other calls, please wait [music] repeat from *" for about 5 minutes then "You are number one in the queue", back to "all our agents are busy...". Another 10 minutes: "You are next in the queue..." Another 5 minutes and I hung up.

We spend £billions on the NHS and they can't even hire somebody to answer the bloody phone. (Or somebody with the gumption to change the bloody message when there's nobody to answer the bloody phone.)

Our surgery has a system which tells you where you are in the queue, then offers a callback when you are at the front.

And I think your example shows that we don't pay enough. Unless you'd prefer more clerical but fewer clinical staff?

[Taipan]

Opal Fruit wrappers!

[Saga Lout]

"Press 1 for... press 2 for... etc" so I pressed the appropriate number and "*Thank you for calling, all our agents are busy with other calls, please wait [music] repeat from *" for about 5 minutes then "You are number one in the queue", back to "all our agents are busy...". Another 10 minutes: "You are next in the queue..." Another 5 minutes and I hung up.

We spend £billions on the NHS and they can't even hire somebody to answer the bloody phone. (Or somebody with the gumption to change the bloody message when there's nobody to answer the bloody phone.)

Our surgery has a system which tells you where you are in the queue, then offers a callback when you are at the front.

And I think your example shows that we don't pay enough. Unless you'd prefer more clerical but fewer clinical staff?

You're absolutely right. We ought to throw many more £billions into this money pit.

Or we could just burn it down and start again.

[Horse]

Or we could just burn it down and start again.

You might get arrested for suggesting that, y'know.

[Saga Lout]

Or we could just burn it down and start again.

You might get arrested for suggesting that, y'know.

Like if I said "Let's kill all the lawyers" or "Starmer will be first up against the wall"?

Asking for a friend. Obviously.

[Horse]

Or we could just burn it down and start again.

You might get arrested for suggesting that, y'know.

Like if I said "Let's kill all the lawyers" or "Starmer will be first up against the wall"?

Asking for a friend. Obviously.

The offence of causing fear or provocation of violence (threatening behaviour) is an offence created by section 4 of the Public Order Act 1986 (POA 1986).

The Assaults on Emergency Workers (Offences) Act 2018 in England and Wales makes it a specific offense to assault or threaten an emergency worker, including nurses, while they are on duty or acting in the exercise of their functions.

[Taipan]

Or we could just burn it down and start again.

You might get arrested for suggesting that, y'know.

Like if I said "Let's kill all the lawyers" or "Starmer will be first up against the wall"?

Asking for a friend. Obviously.

Hurty words. Bye...

[Cousin Jack]

IIRC English law has established the principle that offending others is perfectly acceptable.

[Horse]

IIRC English law has established the principle that offending others is perfectly acceptable.

And it's probably not against any law for TP to feel hurt.

SKS, however, might feel threatened.

[Taipan]

IIRC English law has established the principle that offending others is perfectly acceptable.

Lucy Connelly might disagree, whilst Huw Edwards laughs all the way to the dark web...

[Cousin Jack]

IIRC English law has established the principle that offending others is perfectly acceptable.

And it's probably not against any law for TP to feel hurt.

SKS, however, might feel threatened.

I think there is also the need for the threat to be credible. If I say "I will kill X" , where X is a public figure who I have never met and who lives many miles away the threat is hardly credible. If I start stalking him, or I do know him personally, ir might be credible.

[Jody]

My P was B by this not getting more laughs.....

There's a Spanish girl who comes to my local regularly. She's sat a table away and she's the absolute double of the paralimpian swimmer Ellie Simmonds.

But, she's about 6' 2"

Makes me giggle anyway

ellie-simmonds-interview-paralympics-2024-669c2523361fc.png

Maybe Ellie is her half sister?

[Noggin]

More about my colleague - the patronising sexist fukker !!

We were learning routes and the instructor passed over a route map to Tim - he then passed it to me.

Its very simple - it's three routes, each covers a bit of the same route, laid out very clearly in three different colours and with a key to the colours at the bottom

Tim hands it to me, waits till i've opened up and then leans over to explain that each colour is a different route; then which routes are which, using the key that is clearly marked !!

I did say "thank you very much, but it is just a simple map; I've been able to read a simple map like this for 50 years, I'm not 5 " !!!! (TBF, I can read and use a complicated map, just can't read one of those and drive at the same time!!)

I was laughing and did say thank you to him, but - he really is a patronising sexist fuckwit !!! I'd understand more if he was old, but he's in his early 30's !! Obviously just thinks I'm really really stoooopid!!!

[Yorick]

More about my colleague - the patronising sexist fukker !!

We were learning routes and the instructor passed over a route map to Tim - he then passed it to me.

Its very simple - it's three routes, each covers a bit of the same route, laid out very clearly in three different colours and with a key to the colours at the bottom

Tim hands it to me, waits till i've opened up and then leans over to explain that each colour is a different route; then which routes are which, using the key that is clearly marked !!

I did say "thank you very much, but it is just a simple map; I've been able to read a simple map like this for 50 years, I'm not 5 " !!!! (TBF, I can read and use a complicated map, just can't read one of those and drive at the same time!!)

I was laughing and did say thank you to him, but - he really is a patronising sexist fuckwit !!! I'd understand more if he was old, but he's in his early 30's !! Obviously just thinks I'm really really stoooopid!!!

Don't you worry your pretty little head. One sugar in mine luv

[Noggin]

More about my colleague - the patronising sexist fukker !!

We were learning routes and the instructor passed over a route map to Tim - he then passed it to me.

Its very simple - it's three routes, each covers a bit of the same route, laid out very clearly in three different colours and with a key to the colours at the bottom

Tim hands it to me, waits till i've opened up and then leans over to explain that each colour is a different route; then which routes are which, using the key that is clearly marked !!

I did say "thank you very much, but it is just a simple map; I've been able to read a simple map like this for 50 years, I'm not 5 " !!!! (TBF, I can read and use a complicated map, just can't read one of those and drive at the same time!!)

I was laughing and did say thank you to him, but - he really is a patronising sexist fuckwit !!! I'd understand more if he was old, but he's in his early 30's !! Obviously just thinks I'm really really stoooopid!!!

Don't you worry your pretty little head. One sugar in mine luv

yeah, but I take that from you!! If he was as generally knowledgable as he thinks he is, I'd probably take it from him - but he just thinks he's god's gift to anyone and everyone