Jokes Thread

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MingtheMerciless
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by MingtheMerciless »

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"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?"
"My dear Doctor, they're all true."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies."
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Demannu
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Demannu »

Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior.

So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender:

-Is Crimea ours?

-Yes, it is.

-And the Donbas?

-Also ours.

-And Kyiv?

-We got that too.

Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks:

-Thanks, how much do I owe you?

-5 euros
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The Martian
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by The Martian »

Taipan wrote: ↑Fri May 06, 2022 10:08 am My wife just asked me to stop singing my favourite 60s song, I'm a Believer, by The Monkees, as it was getting on her nerves! I didn't believe her at first, but then I saw her face...
My Mrs told me to stop singing Oasis lyrics or I was in trouble.

I said maybe..
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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

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slowsider
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by slowsider »

Taipan wrote: ↑Mon May 23, 2022 9:24 pm Image
Meanwhile, back at No 10

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MingtheMerciless
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by MingtheMerciless »

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Damn, late to the party as usual😂
"Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?"
"My dear Doctor, they're all true."
"Even the lies?"
"Especially the lies."
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Lutin
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Lutin »

Martyn Turner's latest (Irish Times 26th May 2022) -

Martyn Turner 260522.jpg
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Blundering about trying not to make too much of a hash of things.
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Re: Jokes Thread

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JackyJoll
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by JackyJoll »

Lutin wrote: ↑Thu May 26, 2022 8:46 am Martyn Turner's latest (Irish Times 26th May 2022) -


Martyn Turner 260522.jpg
Looks like Martyn Turner is the least humorous Irish person ever.
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JackyJoll
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Lutin
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Lutin »

JackyJoll wrote: ↑Sat May 28, 2022 7:23 pm
Lutin wrote: ↑Thu May 26, 2022 8:46 am Martyn Turner's latest (Irish Times 26th May 2022) -


Martyn Turner 260522.jpg
Looks like Martyn Turner is the least humorous Irish person ever.
You should see some of his other stuff. You probably wouldn't like them either.
Blundering about trying not to make too much of a hash of things.
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Trinity765
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Re: Jokes Thread

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Horse
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Even bland can be a type of character :wave:
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Re: Jokes Thread

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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

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:thumbup:

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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Taipan »

I need to rehome a small dog. I don't want any money for him, just a good home. It's a small terrier-type dog that does tend to bark a lot. If you want him, let me know and I'll jump over my fence into my neighbour's garden and get him for you...
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Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread

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mangocrazy
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by mangocrazy »

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There is no cloud, just somebody else's computer.
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Re: Jokes Thread

Post by Dodgy69 »

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Yamaha rocket 3
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