Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Yorick]

The tat shops let me down

When you want to buy a cheesy Spanish donkey, what's the best place to do so ?

Yeah, tacky Chinese tat shops in a busy holiday resort

NO. Trudged around about 10 of the buggers and nada. Bollox.



But, I've not been in most of them before and it was eye-opening at the shite they do sell

[Yorick]

Had to go into centre of the big city to the blood test clinic.

Ooooh. The general level of fuckwittery had been turned up to maximum today

Driving here has its own special rules and works once you are used to it.

But they were abandoned today and was a nightmare. Couldn't wait to get out.

And breathe.

[Cousin Jack]

Had to go into centre of the big city to the blood test clinic.

Ooooh. The general level of fuckwittery had been turned up to maximum today

Driving here has its own special rules and works once you are used to it.

But they were abandoned today and was a nightmare. Couldn't wait to get out.

And breathe.

Big city? Lanzerote?
Does not compute!

[Yorick]

Had to go into centre of the big city to the blood test clinic.

Ooooh. The general level of fuckwittery had been turned up to maximum today

Driving here has its own special rules and works once you are used to it.

But they were abandoned today and was a nightmare. Couldn't wait to get out.

And breathe.

Big city? Lanzerote?
Does not compute!

Compared to our little village, Arrecife is a bustling hub. Very old and not designed for so many cars.

[Noggin]

Boss it! It sounds like you're driving like you're the most vulnerable.

Adjusting? Pah....claim the corner and give 'em a 'C'mon, if you think yer 'ard enough' look. I bet the lorry drivers don't worry about scraping a few casualties off the bodywork. Give les cocky blighters un centimetre and they'll take un metre.

But, I just REALLY don't want to have a head on crash on a mountain road!! So yes, I am bit chicken

Seriously, I am surprised it wasn't part of your course.

Dominate the road, scare he byjesus out of anyone driving a smaller vehicle.

It sort of was, but TBF, in three and a half months, I did about 25 hours driving - so not a huge amount Definitely a learning on the job thing

[Noggin]

It's probably a good job I didn't post on Sunday - I was driving up the mountain with a sodding great bit list of things that were BMP!! I'm calmer now! But -

Fuckwits that can't stay their side of the road

Bigger fuckwits that think an overtake on a bigger vehicle is ok if you can just about get a piece of paper between the two vehicles, and then also try to take the front bumper of the bigger with then when they cut back into the lane I'm in

Getting scared driving for the first time EVER! I mean, we've all had 'moments'. But I've never finished a days driving with the unnerving sense that I am actually still scared! Driving a big vehicle restricted to 100km/h when everyone else is doing a minimum of 130km/h* is not muh fun in high winds and heavy rain!

* apart from a handful of people doing 60 or 70km/h which is as scary if not more!!!

And THEN - driving up the mountain and there are all manor of fuckwith cuddlywuddlywankers who just can't deal with the need to have winter tyres or use chains - AND stop at an appropriate time to put said chains on!!


Believe me, if I'd written this on Sunday there'd have been a LOT more swearing and a bigger list!

[Saga Lout]

Phoned the hospital, navigated the phone menu, pressed 4 for the department I wanted and the phone rang:
Then "All our agents are busy, please hold" nasty music
Repeat four or five times until
""All our agents are busy, please hold or send us an email at [email address]"
Repeat another four or five times then: "You are number one in the queue, please hold"
Then it started repeating again ""All our agents are busy, please hold"
Hang on, I thought i was number 1 in the queue.

Eventually I hung up and sent an email. If there's nobody there to answer the phone they should just not answer the phone.

[Sunny]

This fucking cold. I'm hosting Christmas for my parents for the first time in my life, and at this rate I'm going to give them the fucking lurgy, to go with the overcooked beef. Not to mention looking like fucking Rudolf

Tbf, my Dad gave me Covid at Christmas a couple of years back, so fair's fair

[Count Steer]

This fucking cold. I'm hosting Christmas for my parents for the first time in my life, and at this rate I'm going to give them the fucking lurgy, to go with the overcooked beef. Not to mention looking like fucking Rudolf

Tbf, my Dad gave me Covid at Christmas a couple of years back, so fair's fair

I meant to add to the Vick-up-the-nose comments earlier. At the first signs of a cold/flu I use their colds+flu nasal spray. Seems to work. Boots do their own version which is less pungent - I think theirs is just a caragheen solution, so that gets used more often but the Vick's one is the 'go nuclear' option.

[MingtheMerciless]

Scheming MiL, she got a Fitbit for Xmas and wants it setup, it must be done today apparently! This is my first day off with Mrs M after 3 12hr days and a busy run up to Christmas. I just want some peace and quiet with Mrs L, eating rubbish, opening a few presents and watching Xmas TV and MiL knows this, but she has once again used her excellent passive manipulation skills to guilt Mrs M into inviting them round.

I may have to walk the dogs whilst there here.

[Dodgy69]

Scheming MiL, she got a Fitbit for Xmas and wants it setup, it must be done today apparently! This is my first day off with Mrs M after 3 12hr days and a busy run up to Christmas. I just want some peace and quiet with Mrs L, eating rubbish, opening a few presents and watching Xmas TV and MiL knows this, but she has once again used her excellent passive manipulation skills to guilt Mrs M into inviting them round.

I may have to walk the dogs whilst there here.

I'm getting the feeling the wife's various bits of family invite themselves around over Xmas just for a free feed n booze. Don't mind in mil so much, but the rest don't give a shit if you've had any time to yourselves or not. Was hoping for a quieter day today, but alas, 4.30 another bunch arrive with kids and dog. So wife's on with the buffet, fridge booze restocked, more arriving tomorrow.

Tbh, I'll be glad to get back to work tomorrow, will just be sitting about talking bollox and probably only half day but really don't mind.

Jeez... I've turned into a right miserable bastard.

[Horse]

...just for a free feed n booze. ... So wife's on with the buffet, fridge booze restocked, more arriving tomorrow.

Jeez... I've turned into a right miserable bastard.

No you haven't. You're reaching the point where the 'They're taking the piss' dial gets to 10.

I don't see any problems with asking them to bring something specific with them.

[MrLongbeard]

The sensibilities of today.

Not so long ago Crocodile Dundee was a light hearted family friendly comedy, judging from the version that's being aired now I can only assume the original is now thought of as a hate filled hard right propaganda film, there's more been cut out than left in.

[Noggin]

I'm trying to buy a car. I messaged two different garages of the same dealer to arrange (as per their website) and had no response. Then today I went to the nearest dealer. Having stood around for almost half an hour waiting for someone who was 'on their way' a different person came to talk to me and basically said - well, we don't have one you can test. But if you really NEED to test one, I suppose I can get one brought in. FFS

I pointed out that I had the money in the bank to buy one of the cars I had seen in the other dealers but I needed to test drive first. Did she want to help me

Oh, ok, but it'll take at least a week to get the car here - the other dealers are 2.5 hours and one hour from the place I went to

I'm tempted to ask a mate in Correze to see if he can find one and then just get a train to go and pick it up!! Probably cheaper too!!


FFS - you'd have thought I was being a pain in the backside, not just trying to buy a car - which is of course what they are supposed to help with!!

[Rockburner]

I'm trying to buy a car. I messaged two different garages of the same dealer to arrange (as per their website) and had no response. Then today I went to the nearest dealer. Having stood around for almost half an hour waiting for someone who was 'on their way' a different person came to talk to me and basically said - well, we don't have one you can test. But if you really NEED to test one, I suppose I can get one brought in. FFS

I pointed out that I had the money in the bank to buy one of the cars I had seen in the other dealers but I needed to test drive first. Did she want to help me

Oh, ok, but it'll take at least a week to get the car here - the other dealers are 2.5 hours and one hour from the place I went to

I'm tempted to ask a mate in Correze to see if he can find one and then just get a train to go and pick it up!! Probably cheaper too!!


FFS - you'd have thought I was being a pain in the backside, not just trying to buy a car - which is of course what they are supposed to help with!!

Sounds like every car dealership I've ever dealt with.

[Yorick]

The sensibilities of today.

Not so long ago Crocodile Dundee was a light hearted family friendly comedy, judging from the version that's being aired now I can only assume the original is now thought of as a hate filled hard right propaganda film, there's more been cut out than left in.

Just thinking.

Did the Aussies create a woke version?

Or the Brits?

[Nobby]

The sensibilities of today.

Not so long ago Crocodile Dundee was a light hearted family friendly comedy, judging from the version that's being aired now I can only assume the original is now thought of as a hate filled hard right propaganda film, there's more been cut out than left in.

Just thinking.

Did the Aussies create a woke version?

Or the Brits?

I doubt it would be the Aussies. Have you seen the uncut version of Walkabout ?
Rrrrrrrr

[Felix]

The sensibilities of today.

Not so long ago Crocodile Dundee was a light hearted family friendly comedy, judging from the version that's being aired now I can only assume the original is now thought of as a hate filled hard right propaganda film, there's more been cut out than left in.

Just thinking.

Did the Aussies create a woke version?

Or the Brits?

I doubt it would be the Aussies. Have you seen the uncut version of Walkabout ?
Rrrrrrrr

Funny as we were just talking about cut scenes from films just last night. Walkabout was mentioned and my contribution was the snooker table scene from 10. That was one of the first films shown on channel 4 when it came out and i had to me watching it with my mum and step dad. Cant beat a but of perving at muff diving but not while the parents are in the room

[Count Steer]

It's a bit niche but in the 80s I saw an anime film - Urotsukidōji: Legend of the Overfiend at the ICA in that London. It was shown uncut. When the UK VHS came out they'd cut huge chunks out of it (not sure exactly but it was something like a total of 45 minutes from that and the follow up film combined ). The later DVD was similarly, err, truncated.

Around the same time they also showed Tetsuo: The Iron Man and Eraserhead so they were on a bit of a roll at the ICA.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urotsukid%C5%8Dji
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tetsuo:_The_Iron_Man
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eraserhead

PS I saw this at a cinema (think it was the Electric in Notting Hill). They won't be showing it on the TV for a while yet ...and it was released in 1976. Near the end of the film, every bloke in the cinema went pale and crossed their legs (see 'Plot').

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/In_the_Re ... the_Senses

[Noggin]

FFS - you'd have thought I was being a pain in the backside, not just trying to buy a car - which is of course what they are supposed to help with!!

Sounds like every car dealership I've ever dealt with.

Wow really? I’ve never dealt with car dealerships. Had a couple of bad experiences (and one good) trying to buy bikes at Fowlers - they really shouldn’t dismiss customers cos they are two girls, one might ride a Blackbird and the other might have enough cash to buy a new bike and be actively looking for one!!

Sadly on the car front it does look like Skoda is the best deal for me so I’m just going to have to take deep breaths and be patient!!!