Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[David]

Puppy shit. Its smells worse than passing a sewerage plant and stick to the back of the nostrils longer.

In which case I would reccomend washing your hands after handling it, and before picking your nose....

[Felix]

Puppy shit. Its smells worse than passing a sewerage plant and stick to the back of the nostrils longer.

In which case I would reccomend washing your hands after handling it, and before picking your nose....

Unfortunately it was the lumps i missed under the fingernails.

[Bigjawa]

Football parents/ Youth Coaches.

We have pitches at the end if the street and they're used by youth teams for training/marches.

We're talking kids as young as 6 right up to teenagers. Inevitably you get some Fergie wannabe in a tracksuit with his initials on giving some tearful preteen the full hairdryer treatment, a fucking grown man yelling at a kid. Nah mate, you're not Pep Whatshisname, you're a fucking glorified babysitter.

The parents aren't any better, shouting and roaring like wee Jonny is the second coming of Messi, I've literally seen them start swinging at each other. What a load of sad bastards.

[gremlin]

My colleague let slip that he was banned from attending his son's football matches for said behaviour...

[v8-powered]

Home insurance - £1063.72. They can do one!

Insurance for all the cars and my bike dropped, yet home insurance increased?

[gremlin]

Gremlinette's boyfriend being called 'Nigger'.

FFS, it's 2024.

[ogri]

Never gonna get rid of the Neanderthal element, so sorry.

[v8-powered]

Gremlinette's boyfriend being called 'Nigger'.

FFS, it's 2024.

FFS, what's wrong with people?

[mangocrazy]

Home insurance - £1063.72. They can do one!

I haven't done home insurance for over 30 years. It's still standing and hasn't burned down yet. (Don't tell KFB...)

[Yorick]

Gremlinette's boyfriend being called 'Nigger'.

FFS, it's 2024.

I get it here. My dog barks at the looky looky men coz they're wearing and carrying bright gear and flashing stuff.

Every week I hear folk say "good boy, tell the n***** to fuck off"

[Yorick]

Knobheads on planes.

Mrs Y is on the plane at Luton airport. It's been delayed coz a family of 4 were kicking off and abusive to staff.
So plane has been delayed an hour while police escorted them off.

At this time of year, a holiday is expensive and they've blown the lot.

Stupid doesn't quite describe it.

[Mussels]

Gremlinette's boyfriend being called 'Nigger'.

FFS, it's 2024.

Did he choose that name or did his parents give it to him?

[gremlin]

Gremlinette's boyfriend being called 'Nigger'.

FFS, it's 2024.

Did he choose that name or did his parents give it to him?

It's tough having Guy Gibson as a parent.

[Skub]

Gremlinette's boyfriend being called 'Nigger'.

FFS, it's 2024.

Never gonna get rid of the Neanderthal element, so sorry.

Wot he sed. Cunts are always going to be cunts regardless of their target,that will never change.

[Skub]

Knobheads on planes.

Mrs Y is on the plane at Luton airport. It's been delayed coz a family of 4 were kicking off and abusive to staff.
So plane has been delayed an hour while police escorted them off.

At this time of year, a holiday is expensive and they've blown the lot.

Stupid doesn't quite describe it.

Favourite daughter deals with this on a daily basis and regularly sports cuts and bruises from gobby drunks. The law is unbelievably lenient in most cases. I wouldn't last a crack in her job.

[Sadlonelygit]

1664 0%
Somebody bought this by mistake (swmrn), damn it's horrible!
Guinness zero is at least drinkable!

[DefTrap]

1664 0%
Somebody bought this by mistake (swmrn), damn it's horrible!
Guinness zero is at least drinkable!

Heineken zero & Guinness zero are my missus's zeros of choice (at least from what's available in les local shoppes anyway). In Spain recently San Miguel zero also rated highly. But yeah apparently 1664 zero is awful.

[gremlin]

1664 0%
Somebody bought this by mistake (swmrn), damn it's horrible!
Guinness zero is at least drinkable!

Heineken zero & Guinness zero are my missus's zeros of choice (at least from what's available in les local shoppes anyway). In Spain recently San Miguel zero also rated highly. But yeah apparently 1664 zero is awful.

I refer the Right Honourable Gentleman to my previous answer: mix a 0% version 50/50 with the proper beer of the same label*. Tastes alright.

*Obvs not if driving, operating machinery, flying a commercial jet, etc.

[Mr. Dazzle]

I sometimes effectively do that, but not in the same glass . For BBQs and stuff I often do 1:1 or 2:1 0%/full fat beers.

Means I can have some cold ones with the boys without getting shit faced. Plus there're a fuck tonne of calories in beer

[gremlin]

Trouble being, your taste buds are canny wee buggers...

First 0% - OK, I'm fooled.

First proper beer - oooh...better.

Second 0% - WHAT IS THIS SHITE?!