Jokes Thread

[JackyJoll]

The replies are almost as good. So many people failing to get the joke.

The biggest idiots are the ones who explain that it’s a joke.

[slowsider]

The replies are almost as good. So many people failing to get the joke.

The biggest idiots are the ones who explain that it’s a joke.

Thanks for making that clear...

[Felix]

What joke??

[JackyJoll]

The replies are almost as good. So many people failing to get the joke.

The biggest idiots are the ones who explain that it’s a joke.

Thanks for making that clear...

I don’t exclude myself!

[Felix]

[Taipan]

[Trinity765]

[Taipan]

[Taipan]

I've got to do something about this weight, so I just rang up weight watchers for help and told them its an emergency and could they send somebody round. They said yes they have loads of them...

[Horse]

IMG-20220204-WA0000.jpg (72.54 KiB) Viewed 821 times

[Horse]

20220205_091148.jpg (219.6 KiB) Viewed 736 times

[Horse]

A Dublin man sees a sign outside a Kerry farmhouse:
'Talking Dog For Sale'....He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden.
The man sees a very nice looking Black Labrador Retriever sitting there.
"Do you really talk?" He asks the dog.
"Yes!" The Labrador replies.
After recovering from the shock of hearing the dog talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story!"
The Labrador looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the Garda.
"In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world drug lords, because no one imagined that a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years, But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Dublin airport to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. I got married, had a few puppies, and now I've just retired!"
The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the Kerryman how much he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid!" The owner says.
"£10? But this dog is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?"
"Because he's a lying fucker. He's never been out of the garden!"

[Taipan]

“Once upon a time in Brick Lane”
Paul Trevor.

[Felix]

That kid sporting a snake belt.

[slowsider]

Donut delivery driver delayed.

[JackyJoll]

[Felix]

[David]

Shit...you have rumbled our cunning plan!

[Felix]

Shit...you have rumbled our cunning plan!

Funny as just yesterday i seen a 2nd hand electric car for sale for the first time in the small adds. 15 plate Nissan Leaf for around 11500 i think it was.

[weeksy]

Yawn... boring, boring, boring.