Page 38 of 146
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 6:01 pm
by weeksy
Asked my wife if I was the only one she’s even been with.
“Yes” she said, “all the others were 9s and 10s.”
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 6:02 pm
by weeksy
Female weightlifter goes to see a doctor
FW – I think I’ve been overdoing the steroids, I’ve grown a knob.
D – Anabolic?
FW – No, just a knob.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 10:24 pm
by Saga Lout
weeksy wrote: Tue Jan 25, 2022 7:29 am
I’ve just tried some of Elvis Costello’s Mediterranean sausage range from Waitrose.
I must say it was lovely, I think Olive salami is here to stay
That reminds me.
See you in the insignificcant BYP thread.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 10:45 pm
by Taipan
A mixed race Gentleman walked into a bar. At least, that's the Met Police's version of events...
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Tue Jan 25, 2022 11:25 pm
by Taipan
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Wed Jan 26, 2022 10:01 am
by Taipan
Ha ha, brilliant!
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:11 am
by Taipan
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2022 10:18 am
by McSatan
What's the difference between an Aston Martin and a dead prostitute?
I haven't got any Aston Martins in my garage.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Thu Jan 27, 2022 12:41 pm
by Count Steer
Surgeon: Right John, it's just a small operation. Nothing to worry about.
Patient: My names not John.
Surgeon: No, I'm John.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2022 1:01 pm
by Saga Lout
I went to see my GP:
“Doctor, I need to lose some weight”
“Don’t eat anything fatty.”
“You mean cut down on the fry-ups, eat fewer chips?”
“No, you weren’t listening. I said don’t eat anything, Fatty.”
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 1:29 pm
by Taipan
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 1:35 pm
by DW.
We call them Bogans, but same same. What is the pommy version of redneck?
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 2:47 pm
by Yambo
DW. wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2022 1:35 pm
We call them Bogans, but same same. What is the pommy version of redneck?
Yorkshiremen.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 4:18 pm
by maccecht
Taipan wrote: Wed Jan 26, 2022 10:01 am
Ha ha, brilliant!
Now that made me genuinely laugh ta.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 6:59 pm
by slowsider
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2022 9:42 pm
by Saga Lout
The replies are almost as good. So many people failing to get the joke.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2022 10:24 am
by DW.
Yambo wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2022 2:47 pm
DW. wrote: Sat Jan 29, 2022 1:35 pm
We call them Bogans, but same same. What is the pommy version of redneck?
Yorkshiremen.
Well that doesn't sound very offensive at all or is that like the most offensive thing a person could be called??
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2022 10:48 am
by Count Steer
Stannah now have a turbo stairlift. It's so fast it gets you upstairs before you've forgotten what you were going for.
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2022 6:03 pm
by Saga Lout
Potter wrote: Sun Jan 30, 2022 3:50 am[Thomas Edison picture]
I think he would have known. Here's just one prior example of it being common knowledge:
"Thus hath the candle singd the moath."
Shakespeare The Merchant of Venice, 1596
Re: Jokes Thread
Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2022 7:28 pm
by slowsider
Saga Lout wrote: Sun Jan 30, 2022 6:03 pm
Potter wrote: Sun Jan 30, 2022 3:50 am[Thomas Edison picture]
I think he would have known. Here's just one prior example of it being common knowledge:
"Thus hath the candle singd the moath."
Shakespeare The Merchant of Venice, 1596
You've outed yourself
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=moath
