revtothelimit - motorbike forum

Posted: **Thu Aug 15, 2024 11:52 am**

Silly Car wrote: Wed Aug 14, 2024 8:28 pm

He was a prick, none of us, including you, ever liked him

The irony is, he's a nice lad, but has issues of his own. His dad died of cancer less than two years ago. I think he's still processing that, plus he's recently had a health diagnosis himself.

I do wonder if the recent issues the Gremlinette has had has simply proved a little too much for him.

Gremlinette is devastated as it was very unexpected and has hit her when she's feeling a bit low. Mrs. Gremlin is away this week so I've had to be the main source of hot chocolate, cuddles and sympathy.

Posted: **Thu Aug 15, 2024 12:40 pm**

gremlin wrote: Thu Aug 15, 2024 11:52 am
Silly Car wrote: Wed Aug 14, 2024 8:28 pm

He was a prick, none of us, including you, ever liked him
The irony is, he's a nice lad, but has issues of his own. His dad died of cancer less than two years ago. I think he's still processing that, plus he's recently had a health diagnosis himself.

I do wonder if the recent issues the Gremlinette has had has simply proved a little too much for him.

Gremlinette is devastated as it was very unexpected and has hit her when she's feeling a bit low. Mrs. Gremlin is away this week so I've had to be the main source of hot chocolate, cuddles and sympathy.

As a product of a severely depressed father, I can understand that at his time in life it was just another hassle he didn’t need. As you say, he has things he needs to come to terms with - and probably wants to go out, have fun, travel, have a laugh etc.

Posted: **Sun Aug 18, 2024 4:18 pm**

Two weeks away on holiday, lots of walks and getting out with the daughter. She had massive issues with eating in public, so had to hide and so on, but we managed to get through the time. She has been able to get out each day for a considerable amount of walking (heck, I lost weight, so it was a lot of walking!) More importantly, she has another refeeding appt tomorrow, so that will take place and we take it from there for the next lot. She has psychotherapist appointments as well, also in touch with MIND. Things seem to be progressing, but it is very very hard work. Wife is knackered, the "holiday" wore her completely out.

Posted: **Sun Aug 18, 2024 6:08 pm**

Mr Moofo wrote: Thu Aug 15, 2024 12:40 pm
gremlin wrote: Thu Aug 15, 2024 11:52 am
Silly Car wrote: Wed Aug 14, 2024 8:28 pm

He was a prick, none of us, including you, ever liked him
The irony is, he's a nice lad, but has issues of his own. His dad died of cancer less than two years ago. I think he's still processing that, plus he's recently had a health diagnosis himself.

I do wonder if the recent issues the Gremlinette has had has simply proved a little too much for him.

Gremlinette is devastated as it was very unexpected and has hit her when she's feeling a bit low. Mrs. Gremlin is away this week so I've had to be the main source of hot chocolate, cuddles and sympathy.
As a product of a severely depressed father, I can understand that at his time in life it was just another hassle he didn’t need. As you say, he has things he needs to come to terms with - and probably wants to go out, have fun, travel, have a laugh etc.

As an aside, there's an important section in The Seven Habits where Covey discusses paradigms and the effect it has on how we see the world around us and how it steers our actions and responses. Not just related to your daughters ex partner, which reminded me, but something I find useful and perhaps others might too when dealing with some of the things life throws at us.

Posted: **Tue Aug 27, 2024 3:38 pm**

Apologies, I haven't read the thread but...

I just wanted to share with you a little trick I've recently learnt to help me stay positive.

In my phone, in the notes section, I made a page titled "good things are always happening"

Every day or two I try to add something.
This morning it was the €10 note I found while walking the dog.

2 days ago it was an unexpected "paid clean" and some beers left for me as a thank you by guests.

Every time I open the document, I am reminded of good things from a few days ago that I might otherwise have forgotten all about. Eg the 90's Fireblade sidecar outfit I saw a couple weeks ago.

This might not work for everybody, but I urge you to give it a go and see what happens

HTH

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 9:51 am**

Getting set to take the train to Manchester, as we have booked a doctor's appointment up there for the Gremlinette on Saturday morning. Over the past few weeks she's got to the point where she's not going out, has described her life as being devoid of any joy and having the constant feeling/fear of soiling herself, which is no doubt linked to the incident on the 'plane a few months ago where she was physically ill and had an upset stomach the whole of the flight. I suspect anti-depressants will be prescribed, as it sounds very much like the black dog has decided to spend some time with her.

Mrs. G was going up anyway, but I want to be in on the appointment so we can all try to figure a path forward. I'm very lucky to have an employer that provides bloody good medical care.

Much debate as to whether she's better up in Manny or back home with us. I'd love for her to stay with her friends and work this out for herself, albeit with professional help. Coming home feels like capitulation.

Saturday is also her 20th birthday. She should be having the time of her life, instead she can barely bring herself to get out of bed and get dressed. Not how I imagined my funny, out-going, vivacious and fun-loving daughter would spend her 20th.

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 9:57 am**

gremlin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 9:51 am Getting set to take the train to Manchester, as we have booked a doctor's appointment up there for the Gremlinette on Saturday morning. Over the past few weeks she's got to the point where she's not going out, has described her life as being devoid of any joy and having the constant feeling/fear of soiling herself, which is no doubt linked to the incident on the 'plane a few months ago where she was physically ill and had an upset stomach the whole of the flight. I suspect anti-depressants will be prescribed, as it sounds very much like the black dog has decided to spend some time with her.

Mrs. G was going up anyway, but I want to be in on the appointment so we can all try to figure a path forward. I'm very lucky to have an employer that provides bloody good medical care.

Much debate as to whether she's better up in Manny or back home with us. I'd love for her to stay with her friends and work this out for herself, albeit with professional help. Coming home feels like capitulation.

Saturday is also her 20th birthday. She should be having the time of her life, instead she can barely bring herself to get out of bed and get dressed. Not how I imagined my funny, out-going, vivacious and fun-loving daughter would spend her 20th.

FWIW I dont think it is capitulation. WIth my kids, support was very much the key. If I hadn't had my Son in the house he wouldn't be here today, so as you can imagine, that's very much the place i'm coming from and your situation may be different. Good luck though, its the worse thing ever seeing your kids suffer like this and I empathise completely.

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:03 am**

Basically what Taipan said - it is NOT a capitulation

Sometime in life we have to take a few steps back, go somewhere comfortable/safe and then rebuild to restart

You don’t HAVE to keep going forwards. Sometimes taking stock and being at home is worth everything

Good luck for the appointment and hugs to you all. xxx

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:35 am**

Noggin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:03 am Basically what Taipan said - it is NOT a capitulation

Sometime in life we have to take a few steps back, go somewhere comfortable/safe and then rebuild to restart

You don’t HAVE to keep going forwards. Sometimes taking stock and being at home is worth everything

Good luck for the appointment and hugs to you all. xxx

I feel that uni life lacks the structure she needs. She's awake all night, stressing, then sleeping in 'til afternoon. Her sleep health is crap, her nutrition is crap and she's becoming a recluse. All this is a vicious circle of declining mental health.
If she comes home, there will be a routine. I'm not talking Full Metal Jacket shouty drill sergeant, but she will need to get into a routine, eat well, sleep well, exercise, take breaks from social media. Maybe I can get C5 to arrange a 10 day break on a desert island...

Ultimately, us parents, the medical professionals, the counsellors, etc., can only provide the tools. She is the only one who can make herself better.

Frustrating and very saddening.

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 11:20 am**

gremlin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:35 am
Noggin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:03 am Basically what Taipan said - it is NOT a capitulation

Sometime in life we have to take a few steps back, go somewhere comfortable/safe and then rebuild to restart

You don’t HAVE to keep going forwards. Sometimes taking stock and being at home is worth everything

Good luck for the appointment and hugs to you all. xxx
I feel that uni life lacks the structure she needs. She's awake all night, stressing, then sleeping in 'til afternoon. Her sleep health is crap, her nutrition is crap and she's becoming a recluse. All this is a vicious circle of declining mental health.
If she comes home, there will be a routine. I'm not talking Full Metal Jacket shouty drill sergeant, but she will need to get into a routine, eat well, sleep well, exercise, take breaks from social media. Maybe I can get C5 to arrange a 10 day break on a desert island...

Ultimately, us parents, the medical professionals, the counsellors, etc., can only provide the tools. She is the only one who can make herself better.

Frustrating and very saddening.

But you are giving her the support to enable her to make steps. That’s the most important thing. Without that, it’s a million times more difficult xxx

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 12:45 pm**

gremlin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:35 am
Noggin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 10:03 am Basically what Taipan said - it is NOT a capitulation

Sometime in life we have to take a few steps back, go somewhere comfortable/safe and then rebuild to restart

You don’t HAVE to keep going forwards. Sometimes taking stock and being at home is worth everything

Good luck for the appointment and hugs to you all. xxx
I feel that uni life lacks the structure she needs. She's awake all night, stressing, then sleeping in 'til afternoon. Her sleep health is crap, her nutrition is crap and she's becoming a recluse. All this is a vicious circle of declining mental health.
If she comes home, there will be a routine. I'm not talking Full Metal Jacket shouty drill sergeant, but she will need to get into a routine, eat well, sleep well, exercise, take breaks from social media. Maybe I can get C5 to arrange a 10 day break on a desert island...

Ultimately, us parents, the medical professionals, the counsellors, etc., can only provide the tools. She is the only one who can make herself better.

Frustrating and very saddening.

I'm sure her knowing that you and others are there for her, will be very reassuring.
Lots of folk don't have that support.

Keep up the good work.

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 3:16 pm**

Over the last year I realised that I had to separate the anxiety and depression.
The anxiety will probably always be there but I thought I could help the depression by self help.
Looking up at the sea view when I was skulked on the sofa. When the black hole appeared, think of the bikes and good things.
When unhappy, think of what we've got.

That's simplifying it, but it seems to have worked.
Woke up a month ago and like I'd been drugged or hypnotised.

Just feeling good all the time. No need to go to bed or lie on the sofa till "it" passes.

Wowsers. It feels great

The anxiety still there, but easier to cope with by itself.
I asked a while ago about gloves and tyre pressure gauge. Still can't choose as searching & choosing overwhelms me.
But I can cope with that.

When I need clothes, I can't choose, so the missus comes with me and holds up things for me to choose.

Posted: **Thu Sep 26, 2024 5:07 pm**

gremlin wrote: Thu Sep 26, 2024 9:51 am Getting set to take the train to Manchester, as we have booked a doctor's appointment up there for the Gremlinette on Saturday morning. Over the past few weeks she's got to the point where she's not going out, has described her life as being devoid of any joy and having the constant feeling/fear of soiling herself, which is no doubt linked to the incident on the 'plane a few months ago where she was physically ill and had an upset stomach the whole of the flight. I suspect anti-depressants will be prescribed, as it sounds very much like the black dog has decided to spend some time with her.

Mrs. G was going up anyway, but I want to be in on the appointment so we can all try to figure a path forward. I'm very lucky to have an employer that provides bloody good medical care.

Much debate as to whether she's better up in Manny or back home with us. I'd love for her to stay with her friends and work this out for herself, albeit with professional help. Coming home feels like capitulation.

Saturday is also her 20th birthday. She should be having the time of her life, instead she can barely bring herself to get out of bed and get dressed. Not how I imagined my funny, out-going, vivacious and fun-loving daughter would spend her 20th.

Some people are against anti depressants, but they can be the right thing for some people / situations. Don't feel like it's a bad thing if she ends up giving them a go.

From what you say, I assume she's accessing counselling / other relevant therapy / assistance.

My aunt used to work in the field and says 'nothing happens quickly with mental health', which I think is generally correct.

Best wishes and good luck with it.

Posted: **Fri Sep 27, 2024 4:07 pm**

I am dealing with a couple of people going through depression, anxiety and thoughts of self harm/suicide. One of the biggest things is to help them be referred to decent services who will actually listen to them and help them. I am not an expert in these issues, I can listen and pray, but being referred to the correct services is so important. Sometimes we have to speak the truth clearly and without embellishment, but just sometimes we have to love them gently and help them to know they have value and deserve respect and a chance at life.

My little girl is going through the motions of eating and getting counselling, but the road is a very long one and she is still not seeing that with some things she has to take charge and responsibility. At least today, she walked in the rain to the local Aldi with her mum to get some wool for an art project she is working on. Right now she is doing something with modelling clay, back on some medications, and trying to move forward.

Posted: **Fri Sep 27, 2024 9:41 pm**

Jody wrote: Tue Aug 27, 2024 3:38 pm Apologies, I haven't read the thread but...

I just wanted to share with you a little trick I've recently learnt to help me stay positive.

In my phone, in the notes section, I made a page titled "good things are always happening"

Every day or two I try to add something.
This morning it was the €10 note I found while walking the dog.

2 days ago it was an unexpected "paid clean" and some beers left for me as a thank you by guests.

Every time I open the document, I am reminded of good things from a few days ago that I might otherwise have forgotten all about. Eg the 90's Fireblade sidecar outfit I saw a couple weeks ago.

This might not work for everybody, but I urge you to give it a go and see what happens

HTH

I mentioned this idea to my counsellor the other day and that I’d tried to put it into practice and was helping me on some of my darker moments as it gave me a positive memory to help ‘break’ the vicious downward spiral those moments can lead to. She thought it was a brilliant idea and promptly said she would use it with other clients.

We also discussed how bad moments always felt 100 fold worse than a single good moment, but in reality, should have equal weighting. Simple but powerful when trying to combat those really shit times. Very hard to do though.

I’ve found other mechanisms for breaking the downers, simple things like doing something different in the moment, e.g. taking dog out, putting the kettle on for a brew, taking the car to the car wash, picking up some groceries*, anything to make a change.

Simple things but based around the old saying of ‘the devil makes work for idle hands’

* 30 mile round trip with the roof down and tunes blaring for 4 pints of milk and a bar of chocolate may appear extreme, but it did the trick.

Posted: **Sat Sep 28, 2024 12:43 am**

Sometimes this thread goes quiet for 2 or 3 weeks. Dark clouds from time to time pay me a visit.

The recent posts have been good for me if that makes sense to anyone and for that I am grateful

Keep this thread going everyone

Posted: **Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:36 pm**

How about CBD for depression? Anyone tried it?
I'm thinking of going to one of the medical cannabis clinics here, Lyphe, and getting a consultation. Maybe it's worth trying.

Posted: **Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:53 pm**

silver991 wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:36 pm How about CBD for depression? Anyone tried it?
I'm thinking of going to one of the medical cannabis clinics here, Lyphe, and getting a consultation. Maybe it's worth trying.

My work paid for an expensive CBD councillor. Did bugger all for me.
But have heard it can help others.

Posted: **Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:59 pm**

Yorick wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:53 pm
silver991 wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:36 pm How about CBD for depression? Anyone tried it?
I'm thinking of going to one of the medical cannabis clinics here, Lyphe, and getting a consultation. Maybe it's worth trying.
My work paid for an expensive CBD councillor. Did bugger all for me.
But have heard it can help others.

That's CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) he means CBD (Cannabidiol) which is the medicinal chemical found in Cannabis

Posted: **Thu Oct 17, 2024 1:23 pm**

JamJar wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:59 pm
Yorick wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:53 pm
silver991 wrote: Thu Oct 17, 2024 12:36 pm How about CBD for depression? Anyone tried it?
I'm thinking of going to one of the medical cannabis clinics here, Lyphe, and getting a consultation. Maybe it's worth trying.
My work paid for an expensive CBD councillor. Did bugger all for me.
But have heard it can help others.
That's CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) he means CBD (Cannabidiol) which is the medicinal chemical found in Cannabis

Oops

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