Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[Saga Lout]

Supermarkets already having easter eggs & hot X buns on the shelves, FFS I'm still eating xmas pudding

It's just their way of reminding you to put the sprouts on. You wouldn't want them to be undercooked and spoil Christmas, would you?

[Noggin]

Pub wankers!

I've worked in pubs since I was 16, so quite a long time. I no longer have a pub job as my tolerance levels dropped with every passing year after I turned 30!! I'll help out friends occasionally but really don't need to put myself in the position of dealing with fuckwits that drink too much and think they are funny/gods gift/allowed to do what they want.

One of the reasons I don't go down to the next village where all the English are is basically because they drink differently to the French and are far more likely to be offensive pub wankers!!


Tonight I went down to see some mates, they are in a group that is doing a three week tour around here and this is the most local - I didn't get to see the whole gig cos I didn't manage a siesta this afternoon, I'm knackered and the last bus is 15 mins after they started (TBF, they were a bit late starting )


But - before they arrived, I was sat with a mate chatting and a group came over and asked if they could share the table we were at with one of them plonking himself on the chair by me and promptly putting out his hand to start messing with my hair and commenting on the colour.

Now, I only know one person in resort that would do that and I don't like her doing it when she's sober, but for a pissed up tourist to think it's ok to just start playing with a strange girl's hair is just weird. (And yes I know, I'm really strange!)


I'm sure there is an element of overreaction on my part, but, pissed pub wankers do seem to think that they can do what the fuck they want - he didn't even chat to us first or talk about the fact that my hair is a stupid colour. Nope, straight in with messing with it.

I obviously had a face that said "if you don't get the FUCK away I'll smack you one" cos one of the women in the group told him to 'behave' , but, seriously?? WTAF ??


(I suppose it's the same sort of person that thinks it's ok to pat a pregnant womans baby bump when they don't know her - but with added alcohol )

[KungFooBob]

Wife's car bonged a couple of times to say the stability/ABS was unavailable. Read the code and it's the front left wheel speed sensor.

She insisted I took it work and she got my car (for her 4 mile commute compared to my 24 miles).

Well I got half way to work and it threw the fault again. It's quite an interesting car to drive in the wet when it's 3c on summer tyres.

I had now idea how much the stability/traction was working in the background until I didn't have it anymore.

Several times I tried to pull away from traffic lights and didn't go anywhere with the rear wheels spinning, you have to really nurse it.

Fortunately the local MB stealership keep them in stock and they're only £20.

It's if I can be arsed to roll around on the floor in the dark trying to change it when I get home.

[Mr. Dazzle]

the local MB stealership keep them in stock

Telling

I drove me ol' Bimmer home in the snow a few years back. It was quite slidey, got some proper comedy angles on the MK roundabouts but kept it all together.

'course, it wasn't me keeping it all together at all, t'was the car. When I got out it absolutely stank of hot brakes, you'd think I'd been ragging it on track not driving in the snow at 20mph.

[Saga Lout]

the local MB stealership keep them in stock

Telling

I drove me ol' Bimmer home in the snow a few years back. It was quite slidey, got some proper comedy angles on the MK roundabouts but kept it all together.

'course, it wasn't me keeping it all together at all, t'was the car. When I got out it absolutely stank of hot brakes, you'd think I'd been ragging it on track not driving in the snow at 20mph.

Yet 30 or 40 years ago we were driving our Cortinas and Sierras in the snow with (mostly} no problems. Youngsters just don't know how to drive.

[KungFooBob]

My old E92 330i was great for that, you could get it 90 degrees out of line (well it felt like that) and the thing would save it's self moment before you were going backwards though the barrier.

But the light would be on telling you it was saving your arse, you have to really really provoke the Merc to get the traction light on, yet it must be doing something all the time because its almost undriveable when it's not working.

[Mr. Dazzle]

the local MB stealership keep them in stock

Telling

I drove me ol' Bimmer home in the snow a few years back. It was quite slidey, got some proper comedy angles on the MK roundabouts but kept it all together.

'course, it wasn't me keeping it all together at all, t'was the car. When I got out it absolutely stank of hot brakes, you'd think I'd been ragging it on track not driving in the snow at 20mph.

Yet 30 or 40 years ago we were driving our 90bhp cars with bicycle tyres in the snow with (mostly} no problems. Youngsters just don't know how to drive.

FTFY My auld Micra was good in the snow for the same reason.

[Saga Lout]

Telling

I drove me ol' Bimmer home in the snow a few years back. It was quite slidey, got some proper comedy angles on the MK roundabouts but kept it all together.

'course, it wasn't me keeping it all together at all, t'was the car. When I got out it absolutely stank of hot brakes, you'd think I'd been ragging it on track not driving in the snow at 20mph.

Yet 30 or 40 years ago we were driving our 90bhp cars with bicycle tyres in the snow with (mostly} no problems. Youngsters just don't know how to drive.

FTFY My auld Micra was good in the snow for the same reason.

90bhp was enough then. More bhp just means you can get into more trouble more quickly..

[Mr. Dazzle]

The benevolent computer overlord who lives under my bonnet is there to save me. Blessed are his circuits.

[Horse]

More bhp just means you can get into more trouble more quickly.

"I need more power to get out of trouble"
#BikingMyths

@The Spin Doctor if you haven't already done a series on these ...

[Felix]

Just back from the post office sending my ECU away for a Remap. 30 more troublesome horses.

[Count Steer]

Cars.

The 12v battery in the hybrid shopping trolley appears to have ceased to exist. It went flat in the first cold spell last year but jump started just fine. This time, nothing, zip, nada so we'll find out how good the 3 years European Assistance is (it's under 2 years old)...then in a few months (2nd birthday), it's gone.

Oh...and it's snowing.

[mangocrazy]

I discovered Plus Gas as a penetrant/releasing fluid more years ago than I care to remember and have used tins of the stuff. Stocks were running low so I got on eBay and ordered a couple of cans - no big deal.

When the cans arrived they weren't the old rectangular can, with the spout inside the screw cap, but round cans with a plastic pull ring to open and no spout. Not what I wanted at all. So I cursed a couple of times and started the returns process.

I then started contacting other eBay suppliers to see if what they were selling matched the (rectangular can) photos. In every case they didn't - it was all round cans. So I decided a call to the suppliers was in order. It appears that the Plus Gas brand is now owned by Saint-Gobain Abrasives, so I called their UK HQ (in Stafford as it happens, just down the road from where I used to live).

A very pleasant lady agreed with me that the current format as sold is effectively useless. The old can and pouring spout is no more and was culled from the line up a couple of years ago. The only options are aerosols (200 & 400ml) and the round (spout-less) 500ml can of fluid.

Without a pouring spout to direct the fluid where it's needed the product is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, ashtray on a motorbike etc. etc. As it happens I can still use the supplied cans as refills for my old can and spout, but anybody buying the 500ml can of fluid (and not the aerosols) will be stuffed.

She gave me the email address and telephone number of someone further up the SGA food chain, and I'm now awaiting a call back. We shall see...
I really don't understand how anyone could think that just supplying a can of fluid without any applicator spout was a good idea, or indeed made any sense at all. I do wonder about the mentality of sales teams that think this kind of 'progress' is acceptable and desirable.

[Mr. Dazzle]

They want you to buy the aerosol (probably higher margin) and/or their no doubt available squirty thing (only £19.99 to you) to refill from their 500ml can.

Makes perfect sense viewed in those terms.

[MingtheMerciless]

My 998cc 50 Hp proper Mini was an utter hoot in the snow, my mates 1380cc , with 125hp and Colway Remould Mud and Snows was a complete monster.

[Mussels]

The benevolent computer overlord who lives under my bonnet is there to save me. Blessed are his circuits.

Continuing from this I don't like the way cars are designed to assume driver aids are always working.
If the engine dies the car pretty much rolls on straight until it runs out of energy, brakes stop working after what's stored in the servo is used up and steering is all but impossible. Towing a car with a rope is a thing of the past.
I used to own an old Rover SD1, not dissimilar to my current Jag XF. The Rover suffered mild lift off oversteer at roundabouts but was generally easy to drive, the Jag control kicks in at almost every corner. Is this progress or is it adding stuff for the sake of it?

[MrLongbeard]

They want you to buy the aerosol (probably higher margin) and/or their no doubt available squirty thing (only £19.99 to you) to refill from their 500ml can.

Makes perfect sense viewed in those terms.

500 pipettes is less than a tenner and last for years, that'll learn 'em

[Mr. Dazzle]

I used to own an old Rover SD1, not dissimilar to my current Jag XF. The Rover suffered mild lift off oversteer at roundabouts but was generally easy to drive, the Jag control kicks in at almost every corner. Is this progress or is it adding stuff for the sake of it?

Maybe your shoes have just got heavier with age.

[Count Steer]

Cars.

The 12v battery in the hybrid shopping trolley appears to have ceased to exist. It went flat in the first cold spell last year but jump started just fine. This time, nothing, zip, nada so we'll find out how good the 3 years European Assistance is (it's under 2 years old)...then in a few months (2nd birthday), it's gone.

Oh...and it's snowing.

It lives! A very, very nice man (a biker ) turned up...and I could track his approach so didn't have to stand around etc. The problem seems to be getting a good connection/earth when jump starting - dunno why, it worked last time. He struggled to get a good connection even with his NOCO 3000A booster. (The 12v battery is buried under the rear passenger seat so you have to connect to a +ve terminal in the fuse box). The battery check said the battery is OK but it was flat as a fart.

Lessons learned:

1. Don't keep your jump leads in the boot/hatch...if the battery is flat you can't get in. I had a second pair in the garage but if it had happened elsewhere...I did get the ones in the boot out as I found one of the rear doors would open but the other wouldn't and I got the rear seat down. I had to erm...edit the original, heavier duty, ones as there was so much 'safety plastic' on the clamps you couldn't actually get them to grip.

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

Lordy knows what would happen if you couldn't get any juice into it...how do you get the electric handbrake off to tow/load a car? Bah! Technology. Harrumph. That step-sided Chevvy looks more attractive every day.

PS I gave him a brew in an RTTL mug and pointed him at the site.

[DefTrap]

2. Get a NOCO booster! Sod this jump start with another car malarkey.

I watched a YouTube vid the other day - where a completely flat batter effectively prevented the car being unlocked. They connected one of these NOCO things to the numberplate light terminals (I think) and it provided sufficient power to get in.