Insignificant/ Significant things that BYP or just wind you up a little

[gremlin]

I know I'm getting to be a grumpy old man and two recent incidents evidence this:

I'm at an open-air concert, having stood about for a few hours to see Nile Rodgers and Chic. As soon as he comes on, the bloke stood in front of me shoves his phone in the air to start recording it, so I can see fuck all except his arms and phone. I ask him politely to put his arms down. He does. For 5 fucking minutes. I ask again. He does. At this point, the wise and gracious Mrs. G. moves us subtly to the right so that the situation is defused.

This morning I stop for petrol. I go in to pay and the bloke in front of me asks for a salted caramel latte, a normal latte and a cappuccino. FFS. I politely ask if I might pay before the bloke behind the counter does his 20 minute barista duties. I make a point of using garages with pay-at-pump whenever I can now, as I invariably get caught behind somebody doing their weekly shop or ordering half a dozen coffee flavoured drinks.

[Horse]

the bloke stood in front of me shoves his phone in the air to start recording it, so I can see fuck all except his arms and phone. I ask him politely to put his arms down.

You need negotiation skills

"Hi chap. What's you're favourite song? Ok, you keep your phone out of my eyeline and I won't sing, loudly, through it."

[Ant]

I know I'm getting to be a grumpy old man and two recent incidents evidence this:

I'm at an open-air concert, having stood about for a few hours to see Nile Rodgers and Chic. As soon as he comes on, the bloke stood in front of me shoves his phone in the air to start recording it, so I can see fuck all except his arms and phone. I ask him politely to put his arms down. He does. For 5 fucking minutes. I ask again. He does. At this point, the wise and gracious Mrs. G. moves us subtly to the right so that the situation is defused.

This morning I stop for petrol. I go in to pay and the bloke in front of me asks for a salted caramel latte, a normal latte and a cappuccino. FFS. I politely ask if I might pay before the bloke behind the counter does his 20 minute barista duties. I make a point of using garages with pay-at-pump whenever I can now, as I invariably get caught behind somebody doing their weekly shop or ordering half a dozen coffee flavoured drinks.

The latter complaint I hear often, but if that's what the shop sells then that's what the shop are selling the man at the time innit? It's not only car fuel they sell.

[Noggin]

I know I'm getting to be a grumpy old man and two recent incidents evidence this:

I'm at an open-air concert, having stood about for a few hours to see Nile Rodgers and Chic. As soon as he comes on, the bloke stood in front of me shoves his phone in the air to start recording it, so I can see fuck all except his arms and phone. I ask him politely to put his arms down. He does. For 5 fucking minutes. I ask again. He does. At this point, the wise and gracious Mrs. G. moves us subtly to the right so that the situation is defused.

This morning I stop for petrol. I go in to pay and the bloke in front of me asks for a salted caramel latte, a normal latte and a cappuccino. FFS. I politely ask if I might pay before the bloke behind the counter does his 20 minute barista duties. I make a point of using garages with pay-at-pump whenever I can now, as I invariably get caught behind somebody doing their weekly shop or ordering half a dozen coffee flavoured drinks.

The latter complaint I hear often, but if that's what the shop sells then that's what the shop are selling the man at the time innit? It's not only car fuel they sell.

But maybe the company running the garage should either offer pay at pump or a queue/till specifically for people who only want to buy fuel! I get that they are trying (have succeeded?) to put the corner shops out of business but TBF, if I just stop for fuel quickly I really don't want to stand behind someone waiting to pay for their weekly shop or some fancy doodah coffees!!

[Count Steer]

But maybe the company running the garage should either offer pay at pump or a queue/till specifically for people who only want to buy fuel! I get that they are trying (have succeeded?) to put the corner shops out of business but TBF, if I just stop for fuel quickly I really don't want to stand behind someone waiting to pay for their weekly shop or some fancy doodah coffees!!

I don't even want to stand behind someone buying a raft of comedy coffees in a coffee shop tbh.

[Ant]

I know I'm getting to be a grumpy old man and two recent incidents evidence this:

I'm at an open-air concert, having stood about for a few hours to see Nile Rodgers and Chic. As soon as he comes on, the bloke stood in front of me shoves his phone in the air to start recording it, so I can see fuck all except his arms and phone. I ask him politely to put his arms down. He does. For 5 fucking minutes. I ask again. He does. At this point, the wise and gracious Mrs. G. moves us subtly to the right so that the situation is defused.

This morning I stop for petrol. I go in to pay and the bloke in front of me asks for a salted caramel latte, a normal latte and a cappuccino. FFS. I politely ask if I might pay before the bloke behind the counter does his 20 minute barista duties. I make a point of using garages with pay-at-pump whenever I can now, as I invariably get caught behind somebody doing their weekly shop or ordering half a dozen coffee flavoured drinks.

The latter complaint I hear often, but if that's what the shop sells then that's what the shop are selling the man at the time innit? It's not only car fuel they sell.

But maybe the company running the garage should either offer pay at pump or a queue/till specifically for people who only want to buy fuel! I get that they are trying (have succeeded?) to put the corner shops out of business but TBF, if I just stop for fuel quickly I really don't want to stand behind someone waiting to pay for their weekly shop or some fancy doodah coffees!!

Then when I'm in Tesco I don't want to be behind anyone not buying what I'm buying. It's a shop which no longer sells only one thing.

[Count Steer]

Then when I'm in Tesco I don't want to be behind anyone not buying what I'm buying. It's a shop which no longer sells only one thing.

Fortunately the till staff in Tescos don't bugger off for 10 minutes to make drinks involving ice and syrup etc. (Well they didn't last time I went into one, but it's a while ago).

[Ant]

Then when I'm in Tesco I don't want to be behind anyone not buying what I'm buying. It's a shop which no longer sells only one thing.

Fortunately the till staff in Tescos don't bugger off for 10 minutes to make drinks involving ice and syrup etc. (Well they didn't last time I went into one, but it's a while ago).

More than likely it's only one minute.

[Cousin Jack]

Fortunately the till staff in Tescos don't bugger off for 10 minutes to make drinks involving ice and syrup etc. (Well they didn't last time I went into one, but it's a while ago).

More than likely it's only one minute.

Have you been in a 'coffee shop' recently?

Coffee is no longer coffee, it has a bewildering array of ingredients that have to be mixed with loving care, and every order contains at least 3 varieties which have to be crafted separately. Order a full breakfast cooked to order, it will take less time

[Horse]

Have you been in a 'coffee shop' recently?

Coffee is no longer coffee, it has a bewildering array of ingredients that have to be mixed with loving care, and every order contains at least 3 varieties which have to be crafted separately. Order a full breakfast cooked to order, it will take less time

Filter into jug, pour.

Where did it all go so badly wrong?

[Ant]

Open jar, spoon, cup, water. What's all this poncy shit about?

[Pirahna]

I stopped drinking coffee years ago, anything that has a three day headache as a withdrawal symptom can't be good for you. Green tea only for me.

[Screwdriver]

Bacon has been pissing me off for some time now. Not because it's full of water and thinner than prosciutto, it's the packaging.

Tear off plastic cover which never tears off. Never. It's always impossibly welded and on the odd occasion when it does start to come off, it's only because there's a second layer underneath! This is supposed to be resealable too but I don't think I have ever reached stage two...

[Count Steer]

Fortunately the till staff in Tescos don't bugger off for 10 minutes to make drinks involving ice and syrup etc. (Well they didn't last time I went into one, but it's a while ago).

More than likely it's only one minute.

Have you been in a 'coffee shop' recently?

Coffee is no longer coffee, it has a bewildering array of ingredients that have to be mixed with loving care, and every order contains at least 3 varieties which have to be crafted separately. Order a full breakfast cooked to order, it will take less time

It's not just a 'coffee' though. Get stuck behind a family of 4 that take 5 minutes to decide they want a Blueberry Bubble Frappé + light whip, a Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Frappé Mocha and 2 Salted Caramel Frappé (with coffee) and just cleaning the gear between cranking out these disgusting calorie-fests takes 5 minutes.

(These are all on offer in my local High Street chain 'coffee' shop - I go to the place 3 doors away owned/run by a local which does do juices but always has someone serving who keeps the coffees flowing while the juicing goes on).

[Mr. Dazzle]

But maybe the company running the garage should either offer pay at pump or a queue/till specifically for people who only want to buy fuel! I get that they are trying (have succeeded?) to put the corner shops out of business but TBF, if I just stop for fuel quickly I really don't want to stand behind someone waiting to pay for their weekly shop or some fancy doodah coffees!!

I don't even want to stand behind someone buying a raft of comedy coffees in a coffee shop tbh.

I don't want to stand behind someone full stop.

Pay at pump is a major contribution to modern society, its up there with penicillin, sliced bread and the Internet.

'People who don't know the pump reaches both sides of the car' belongs both in this thread and the 'happy' one for me too. Depends which way the queue falls

[Ant]

Talking of pumps......

Click, click, come on you bastid, click click, pull nozzle out a bit, click, oooh a little bit, click.....

....do that for a little while until it decides it wants to deliver me my litres.

[Taipan]

Fortunately the till staff in Tescos don't bugger off for 10 minutes to make drinks involving ice and syrup etc. (Well they didn't last time I went into one, but it's a while ago).

More than likely it's only one minute.

Have you been in a 'coffee shop' recently?

Coffee is no longer coffee, it has a bewildering array of ingredients that have to be mixed with loving care, and every order contains at least 3 varieties which have to be crafted separately. Order a full breakfast cooked to order, it will take less time

My former boss decided we'd do the trendy thing and have our 1-2-1 meeting in a coffee shop. It was one of those places with faded and baggy cushioned leather settees. He nodded at the board with the offerings and prices and said which one would you like. I couldn't even pronounce most of them, let alone know what they were! Then I saw the prices!
I said i'm not paying over £4 for a coffee!
He said you're not, I am.
I said I'm not letting you pay it either, you'll just encourage these people and asked for a cup of tea. The bemused looking girl then read an equally long and stupid list of teas to me! I jokingly asked if they did Builders tea?
She replied, and I kid you not, "I'll check with my manager"!
I ended up with a breakfast tea, which just seemed like a normal tea to me. I've not ventured back into such a place since. I know my station...

[v8-powered]

Scummy rude people!

Long rant.....

Step-daughters school prom yesterday and as we have a decent sized garden for their balloon arch photo shoot and a big driveway for their chavvy limo, she asked if half a dozen of her friends could come round beforehand, which we agreed. Before we knew it that had turned in to families being invited too and despite my wife's request to the other parents extended families too! We asked that our driveway be left clear for the limo and that people find alternative parking, i.e. road, but unbeknown to us they all descended on the little village pub 50m up the road and left heir cars there.
30mins in and pub landlord knocks at our door, rightly so, complaining - cue people being told to move their cars which they all took exception to! One clown parent storms in to pub (apparently a Met plod officer of all things!) and start's shouting at staff demanding to speak to the manageress and tells her bluntly to fuck off!

These people aren't from our village so clearly don't give a shit but that's our local and the pub staff know us (step son worked there) - we've now got to go in there and try to make peace.

Anyway, rant over. Went to see kids turning up at prom at Colchester footy stadium, highlight was a girl turning up in the biggest mobile crane I'd seen. So big that he struggled to get it back out the car park!
Beat all the limo's, Ferrari's, Lambo's and other exotica hands down

[Greenman]

Post office collection opening times or the lack of them!

My local post office pick up for missed parcels is now only open 8am-10am monday to friday, contrary to what it says on their website!

I work from 7.30am till 4pm monday till friday so how to do they ever expect me to take a delivery of a parcel or now even be able to go pick up the missed parcel.

I have had to attend work late today to pick the parcel up before 10am! I asked them how they expect me to pick up missed parcels and i just get told to set a redelivery date, to a date i wont be in! - fucking monkeys! They couldn't give a fuck!

And all these fuckers want a pay rise!

This country really is going to shit!

[cheb]

Two things today.

I got a load of drill bits as part of a bundle of things I actually wanted and all of them have the shank dipped in thick black paint. Not the cutting tip, the part you might want to protect but the bit that needs to be clean to grip properly and has the size written on it.

I tripped over yesterday shifting some pallets on rough ground and now spawn the elder, in that voice, is cheerfully telling people 'He's had a fall.' I blame the parent.