Jokes Thread

[Taipan]

[gremlin]

Plus, Lewis Hamilton hasn't made it into the lexicon of Cockney Rhyming Slang, unlike James Hunt.

[Taipan]

Plus, Lewis Hamilton hasn't made it into the lexicon of Cockney Rhyming Slang, unlike James Hunt.

Most people think of him as if he had though!

[Yorick]

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[David]

Is that really Hamilton in the clown suit?

[Docca]

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[KungFooBob]

It's Ronato singing Save Your Love (holes for me).

[JackyJoll]

[Taipan]

This is an Incredible story!
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from
Northwestern University
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing
with one leg raised in the air.
The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.
He got down on one knee, inspected the elephants foot, and found a large
piece of wood deeply embedded in it.
As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his
knife,
after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot.
The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its
face, stared at him for several tense moments..
Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled.
Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.
Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.
Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his
teenaged son.
As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and
walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing.
The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the
ground, then put it down.
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while
staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this
was the same elephant.
Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way
into the enclosure.
He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.
The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs
and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant...

[David]

Youv'e been in Yozza's book of ancient jokes again.....

[Taipan]

If you have a satnav that you can change the voice on, do not use Bono from U2. I did this last week and now the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

[Pirahna]

the streets have no name and I still haven't found what I'm looking for...

Sounds like me delivering Tesco shopping in Harlow.

[Taipan]

So stupid it made I larf!

[slowsider]

[Yorick]

I owe a lot of my success to pavements, if it wasn't for them I'd be on the streets.

I've always thought a postman was a strange job. But it's better than walking the streets

[Docca]

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[Lutin]

I've always thought a postman was a strange job. But it's better than walking the streets

Where's the groan smiley when you want one?

[Yorick]

I've always thought a postman was a strange job. But it's better than walking the streets

Where's the groan smiley when you want one?

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[Taipan]

[Taipan]