I could look on eBay, err, I mean speak to my bespoke consultant see if the artist has something more to Tiepin's taste. Dog's playing cards, maybe...
Pricier mind. Probably the whole £500 he's got burning a hole in his pocket.
Edit: I have a sort of driftwood sculpture of a male torso that's hanging on the wall in the hallway, about a meter high. I saw it in a poncy shop in Brighton, tucked at the back of a display of other pretentious objet d'arte. I asked to take a closer look and as the fella took it out I saw it was anatomically correct, as it was sporting a cock and balls. I expressed my surprise, to which he replied, 'We're in Brighton. They're quite popular around here'.
It's affectionately know in Chez Gremlin as 'Cock and balls on the wall'.