revtothelimit - motorbike forum

Couchy wrote: Tue Mar 07, 2023 8:57 pm So today the wife confirmed the marriage is over, me taking too long to get my illness sorted has taken its toll on her. Apparently I’m to leave but there’s no rush while we sort money and details out and I find a house. Still loves and cares for me as a friend which is fair enough and as all rooms are used here we’ll carry on our living/sleeping/eating arrangements.

Ive no idea about all the above it’s too much to take in tonight, counselling tomorrow so that’ll be fun. Dreading being in a house all alone waiting for the days I have my daughter. It’s exactly what I don’t want.

I'm sorry to hear that, but the good news is you are both still talking and acting in a civilized manner. far too many people start being stupid when a marriage goes tits-up, and start using kids, money, and everything else as weapons etc. Keep talking, even if it is just to decide how you are going to split stuff, don't EVER let it get all lawyers at dawn or the only winners will be the lawyers.

The other great thing about talking is that you might decide to give it a go again. I have seen several people at CA who started coming in for advice on divorce, got advised to talk through financial splits they could both live with, and ended up coming back and saying they didn't need us any more.

So I don't think that point of the thread was to furnish poor quality, unchallenged decisions. That's unhelpful.

A lot of the services are broken, but even if everything was 100%- there will still be occasions for people going to the wrong place for the wrong reasons.

Which is evident on occasion here. That's not a criticism.

After I collapsed at work, McAfee had to take me seriously.
After about a month they sent me to a specialist to make sure I wasn't putting it on. Penny came with me.

After about half hour he was totally sure I'd had a biggy.
He explained that it wasn't cancer and wouldn't kill me.
It was just my brain going into overload and needed a time-out.
He said don't fight it. Go with the flow.

Then I saw photo of his bike on the wall. So I brought it up and the obvious conversation ensued.

He asked how I was when track instructing. Penny said that was my most relaxed and confident time.

He told me to go do more of them and he'd put it in his report.

And he told me not to stay at home. Pop to the pub occasionally to see my pals.

It seemed too good to be true. But why should I be denied 2 things I love in case work didn't approve?
They caused it.

One thing in this thread that is very apparent, is the complete lack of support available from the NHS. Given suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, that is very worrying...

Taipan wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 11:39 am Given suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50,

Only 7 months and 7 days until I'm safer but then I like to roll the dice, I'll be at the Manchester Arena on my 50th

Taipan wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 11:39 am One thing in this thread that is very apparent, is the complete lack of support available from the NHS. Given suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, that is very worrying...

Yeah but, suicides cost the NHS nothing. Preventing suicides is expensive

Taipan wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 11:39 am One thing in this thread that is very apparent, is the complete lack of support available from the NHS. Given suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, that is very worrying...

This is a funding challenge.

This is a stigma challenge.

This is a workforce challenge.


The trained staff don’t exist to man the pumps.

The cancer and hips wins votes - check in your local authority to see where government funding is apportioned.

NHS services are stripped to the bone. We have the lowest number of beds, staff and support in history. Thank the current government for that ( to give you context; there is a £500m contract currently up for grabs for ‘federated data platform’. Which in the current environment is gong to a Tory donator).

£500m would be a lot of therapy

Docca wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 10:01 pm

Taipan wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 11:39 am One thing in this thread that is very apparent, is the complete lack of support available from the NHS. Given suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, that is very worrying...

This is a funding challenge.

This is a stigma challenge.

This is a workforce challenge.


The trained staff don’t exist to man the pumps.

The cancer and hips wins votes - check in your local authority to see where government funding is apportioned.

NHS services are stripped to the bone. We have the lowest number of beds, staff and support in history. Thank the current government for that ( to give you context; there is a £500m contract currently up for grabs for ‘federated data platform’. Which in the current environment is gong to a Tory donator).

£500m would be a lot of therapy

And the other 179.5 billion?
How many Chief Execs in the NHS?

Got a doctors appointment for next week. Not feeling any worse, but I did start looking in to side effects of the tablets I take - Venloflaxin (most likely spelt very wrong) and I think a change is needed

One of those side effects was weight gain, a common complaint of this particular tablet. Now before I started these, I had lost 70 pounds in weight, I had done well and was very pleased that I might not have to buy a Diavel to haul my fat ass around and I could buy some classy threads like supermarket jeans straight off the rack. Since starting these I've put 35 pounds back on with no real increase in food intake and maintaining the same exercise regime I was already doing.

Secondly, and something I only found out about this morning, but based on my previous post, makes a hell of a lot of sense:

Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor Induced Indifference: Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), commonly used to treat depression, are associated with loss of motivation, energy, and lack of curiosity often referred collectively as apathy.

Only recently realised that the apathy and general disinterest in everything started around the same time as I started these tablets.

I had planned to come off tablets altogether for a while, I can't honestly say that I've functioned in the real world without anything for years now, and to be perfectly honest, I don't really think I am depressed anymore, at least, no where near the way I used to be.

I had some terrible side effects with various meds over the years. I was moved from SSRI's to SNRI's for a time, but nothing worked. Good luck with them.

When I told the NHS I was suicidal, it wasn't that interested. When I told them I was getting the urge to kill others, both random people and key actors in my situation, they became very joined up and attentive.

From my own (limited) experience, mental health issues can be different for different people.

SSRIs did work for me; but that was me in my situation.

Something I was told - which I didn't realise was very wise at the time - is that things often move slowly with mental health. I remember thinking "I need to get this sorted by the end of the week". That was never going to happen. I think it took a good 12 months to start to recover and maybe three years before I'd have said I was really ok again.

Over five years on and I think I've never been better. Much better than I was before. There was a time when I couldn't have believed it was possible. I'm not claiming any credit for that; I've been lucky and got good support and help.

MyLittleStudPony wrote: Wed Mar 15, 2023 5:16 pm Over five years on and I think I've never been better. Much better than I was before. There was a time when I couldn't have believed it was possible.

I think that is worth repeating. When I was (very briefly and mildly) depressed I felt there was no way out of my problems. There was, for most people there is, it just takes time and help.

After a docs appointment I stopped my medication last Wednesday. He said it was a small amount so stopping it dead wouldn't be an issue.

Cut to Friday and I was rattling so bad It felt like my skeleton had detached from everything else, the vertigo was insane and by Saturday night I had the heating on and still had to wear a hoodie to combat the shivers. Felt sick all weekend and last night woke myself up with acid reflux.

Ended up taking a half yesterday morning to take the edge off, not sure the doc was 100% in his opinion of "it'll be fine"

Well, I've been hovering close to the edge for a few weeks now. Lots to do, no motivation to do anything. Last week there was a sort of change, I was still prevaricating but I was quite happy about it. Shouldn't ignore this positive development!

I got some fibreglassing done on paddleboard No 2 and then fell into a conspiracy - M and my friend Steve (we went trekking in Nepal together) thought it would be good idea if I went off with Steve to the far side of Fethiye and help Steve's friend tidy up and prepare his camp site.

So right now I'm drinking beer in the lovely evening sun getting 'therapy'. I've sorted out toilets, sinks and showers (it's the first time they've all been operational apparently) with no tools and my head is definitely better. Still sort of fucked but better. I'm here till Friday. No-one minds if I don't do anything but I'm finding things to do where Osman would normally have to pay someone so he's happy with whatever I do.

I'm hoping that the lethargy stays here in Kabak when I leave and I can get on with things when I get home.M has been a rock. I know I've been able to avoid the fall back into depression but she has been hugely instrumental in that. I really have been lucky with the women in my life looking after me.

Mr Moofo wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 11:46 pm

Docca wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 10:01 pm

Taipan wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 11:39 am One thing in this thread that is very apparent, is the complete lack of support available from the NHS. Given suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50, that is very worrying...

This is a funding challenge.

This is a stigma challenge.

This is a workforce challenge.


The trained staff don’t exist to man the pumps.

The cancer and hips wins votes - check in your local authority to see where government funding is apportioned.

NHS services are stripped to the bone. We have the lowest number of beds, staff and support in history. Thank the current government for that ( to give you context; there is a £500m contract currently up for grabs for ‘federated data platform’. Which in the current environment is gong to a Tory donator).

£500m would be a lot of therapy

And the other 179.5 billion?
How many Chief Execs in the NHS?

Plus the millions spent on diversity and inclusivity and handing out sex changes.

Potter wrote: Tue Mar 28, 2023 3:09 am

darthpunk wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2023 9:36 am After a docs appointment I stopped my medication last Wednesday. He said it was a small amount so stopping it dead wouldn't be an issue.

Cut to Friday and I was rattling so bad It felt like my skeleton had detached from everything else, the vertigo was insane and by Saturday night I had the heating on and still had to wear a hoodie to combat the shivers. Felt sick all weekend and last night woke myself up with acid reflux.

Ended up taking a half yesterday morning to take the edge off, not sure the doc was 100% in his opinion of "it'll be fine"

"It'll be fine" in doctor speak, in relation to dependency, usually means you won't die from it.

I've seen lads go into prison with serious methadone addictions and go cold turkey because the doctor said so, they spend a month quivering in a cell shitting themselves inside out and having delusions. Then one day they pop their head out of the door, three stone lighter, looking like they've been to hell and back, and wondering where they are. The only consolation is that they know their doctor is a dickhead and they're now on the right side of that particular chemical dependency.

It's grim but try and hang on, the rattle will end and then hopefully you'll never have to do anything like that again.

This morning has been particularly bad, dizziness like i've never felt and minor mental breakdown. Took a half.

Been looking it up online and the general consensus is "give yourself a break and come off a little more gradually. So i'm aiming for a half every couple of days right now and see how it goes. First day off completely seems mostly ok, second day is a shit show

I'll get there, might just not bother trying to operate heavy machinery at the moment

Daughter was looking to quit her uni course, had meeting with Form Tutor who told her that she had done so well with her work in the first part of the year that she has already passed, so no pressure on her to have to be there. She is able to do stuff online and the practical stuff I can drive to the uni once she has completed it. They are listening to her and not brushing it off as nothing. Seems like they have a better plan in place than the NHS in coping with students who are really struggling with mental health issues. Her private appointment is happening in June, she has questionnaires to fill in and lots of details to go through, which is good. She has regained a bit of focus.

Met a guy yesterday who helped me step back from the ledge about 12 years ago. Discovered I had some shit buried that I didn't know I'd buried. Was a real rollercoaster for an hour or so.

MrLongbeard wrote: Tue Mar 07, 2023 1:17 pm
After speaking to the Trainee Psychological Wellbeing Practitioner for an hour, filling in the questionnaire they'd sent along with some rather uncomfortable questions, my starting point is moderately severe levels of depression and severe levels of anxiety.

Now on a 12 week waiting list for telephone based CBT which by my reckoning will be a waste of time as I'm convinced my headfuckery is seasonal, but GP reckons I should crack on with it and see it I can develop coping strategies, I'm not convinced but seeing as I'm now in the system will see how it plays out.

8 or so weeks later, another questionnaire and "yeah we can't help you as you score pretty normal now, go and look at our CBT website"
Still, I got a nice letter 3 days later explaining how / why they're rebranding with a catchy new name and tag lines yep that'll be my tax money hard at work for me.