Jokes Thread
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Re: Jokes Thread
People can change so quickly...
I tell someone that I love smearing Nutella on biscuits and licking it off and they like the idea.
As soon as they see that my dog is called Biscuits, they get all weird and don't want to talk to me anymore
I tell someone that I love smearing Nutella on biscuits and licking it off and they like the idea.
As soon as they see that my dog is called Biscuits, they get all weird and don't want to talk to me anymore
- Yambo
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Re: Jokes Thread
Some people . . .
You compliment your friend on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend any more.
You compliment your friend on their mustache and suddenly she's not your friend any more.
- Taipan
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Re: Jokes Thread
Yorkshire man goes to the vet says, "This cat I've got, I'm fed up wi it, I want in neutered". "The vet says is he a Tom"? The man says, "No I brought him w'mee"...
- Yorick
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Re: Jokes Thread
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his arse.
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Re: Jokes Thread
I put vaseline on our front doorknob as a joke. My wife didn't find it funny, In fact she flew off the handle.
- Taipan
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- Taipan
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- gremlin
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Re: Jokes Thread
My mate somewhat stupidly drank a bottle of invisible ink.
He's been down A&E for four hours now still hasn't been seen.
He's been down A&E for four hours now still hasn't been seen.
All aboard the Peckham Pigeon! All aboard!
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- Count Steer
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Re: Jokes Thread
Could be Albert Road, High Barnet. 4-lift, 2,000,000cu ft (decommissioned).
Oi loiks a nice gasometer.
Doubt is not a pleasant condition.
But certainty is an absurd one.
Voltaire
But certainty is an absurd one.
Voltaire
- Rockburner
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