The sanctity of marriage...

[Felix]

I am 63 later this year. Folk from my past (when we kept in touch) only one still had the original married parents. Either brought up with a single mother or Mum and Step dad. I am a step dad. Oldest is late 30's but although dad is still around i get treated as a dad also. I have been about for the past 22/3 years. Although i feel strange (Still) about this i can see why they feel they way they do as i was there also doing the best i could for them as kids.

[IccyV2]

Married 30yrs.
We've had some ups and downs but if you can get back to the point in your head where you really wanted to get married then it all makes sense again, but that needs both people to be willing to do that.

I'd like to hope that newer generations are looking at how we got it wrong and they're making decisions not to go the same way. Lower divorce rates would be nice to see if they're genuine, it means more young people are making better choices and prioritising being happy.
I don't know how that will affect their kids, but I do believe that kids are the product/result of the parents.

[Count Steer]

Are the divorce rates down because lot of couples don't appear to get married now? Some still have families so, if they split up the children are still, probably, single-parented. Marriage seems to cover the range from 'I want an Instagram event' through to 'Why would we do that?' via all those that do it for all the traditional reasons.

I generally assume that people that generate or interpret the stats compensate for such things but often they seem not to.

On the years married sweepstake I'm up to 54 this year. (We were quite young when we tied the knot ).

[Scotsrich]

I was at a party the other night and one of my mates brought his grandson.

Chatting i found he was 15 (looked about 18) I asked him where he lived and he said he just went round relatives or friends couch surfing.

Just seemed a sad way to live but either it was forced on him or he decided it was the best option.

[Noggin]

I am 63 later this year. Folk from my past (when we kept in touch) only one still had the original married parents. Either brought up with a single mother or Mum and Step dad. I am a step dad. Oldest is late 30's but although dad is still around i get treated as a dad also. I have been about for the past 22/3 years. Although i feel strange (Still) about this i can see why they feel they way they do as i was there also doing the best i could for them as kids.

If your steps treat you as a Dad, you've done good.

People underrate step-parents. I know very well that some step-parents are terrible (my wicked step-mother was horrific in too many ways to mention!!).

But when someone accepts responsibility by marriage and actually tries (without pressure) to "be there" - that's awesome !!


I once told my SDad (I was about 15 I think) that I was really sorry but I couldn't call him Dad because I had a Dad. He was an absolute sweetheart about that, I was so worried to tell him, but he just said "of course, it's no problem" and we carried on feeding calves or whatever we were doing!!

By my 20's I had worked out my mum was not ideal and I had a massive bonus in that she'd married someone who didn't try to force "being a dad" on us but was always 100% there for us (I used to say he was like a big brother in some ways, he never went against my mum but always offered support).

So I called them both Dad - my friends knew who I was talking about depending on the subject (my BDad lived a few hours away and I didn't get to see him often). I've counted my blessings in a big way that my SDad stuck around and even when my mother wanted a divorce, he stuck around for me and my sis even though we were very much adults and my sis had kids (although she hasn't been very kind to him ) .


Even if you feel strange about it, be quietly proud of yourself for being someone your steps could think of as a bonus-dad

[DefTrap]

I have a step-daughter as well as two of my own - I adore them all the same. I'm quite lucky that they'r all well adjusted and not bellends but then I naturally take some credit for that as well. It takes time though and it's certainly not plane sailing, I'm lucky that I got to be a stepdad when they were young, so that we've had time to get to know each other.

[Yambo]

Mrs Y and I only stayed together for our kids.





Neither of us wanted them.

[

[wheelnut]

Mrs Y and I only stayed together for our kids.





Neither of us wanted them.

[

Custody battle would have been huge

Loser gets the kids.