Your Parents,what did they give you?

[weeksy]

My dad, showed me everything i don't want to be as a person.

Same.

As for my mum, I'm honestly not sure. I love her (she's still going, 82 and still fit and healthy, touch wood), but what she passed on to me in terms of wisdom, etc. I'm not sure. She had a tough upbringing and married my dad (drunk gambler, womaniser and wife-beater), then divorced him and married my stepdad (boring, domineering, socially inept tosser), so maybe the one thing I learned was to marry wisely.

Well mine wasn't anything near that bad, he didn't beat me or her etc... Arguably if anyone was giving out the hiding it was her She was 5'2 and he was 6'0 lol. But there were plenty of other traits i'm glad i've avoided.

[Ditchfinder]

The reluctance to become a parent in case I ended up anything like either of them

[Yorick]

My dad, showed me everything i don't want to be as a person.

Same.

As for my mum, I'm honestly not sure. I love her (she's still going, 82 and still fit and healthy, touch wood), but what she passed on to me in terms of wisdom, etc. I'm not sure. She had a tough upbringing and married my dad (drunk gambler, womaniser and wife-beater), then divorced him and married my stepdad (boring, domineering, socially inept tosser), so maybe the one thing I learned was to marry wisely.

Your missus didn't have that knowledge

[MyLittleStudPony]

I've got four kids now.

I only brae 'em 'cos I love 'em. I only brae 'em 'cos I love 'em.

[Dickyboy]

Blimey, seems like a lot of parental hate on here, like many my dad was a self centred arsehole but he wasn't a drunk and didn't beat us but neither did he treat us whilst he squandered money on Broughs, Morgans, paintings, made to measure shoes etc etc whilst my mum had to skrimp and save to keep us fed & clothed, but I still looked after my dad for the last 5yrs of his life, long after my mum had died. I still have his eyes, love of vee twins and ability to hoard shit

[Beancounter]

Dad is still bloody working! He's a London black cab driver...

Possibly my one biggest regret is not doing the Knowledge when I was younger.

... ability to hoard shit

That's definitely an inherited trait. My F-I-L is quite bad, thinks everything has value. He's been living with us for the last five years and his room (the living room) has tat everywhere. My missus isn't as bad as him but she does like a dust-gathering ornament.

[gremlin]

I still have his eyes,

Bit gruesome, but I suppose they're a talking point when guests see 'em on the mantelpiece.

[Mr. Dazzle]

Blimey, seems like a lot of parental hate on here,

My parents were (are! they're younger than a lot of you ) thoroughly dull and nice IT professionals. My Mum's never been properly drunk in her whole life I don't think I've never seen my Dad drunk drunk either. Neither of them have ever hit me.

They always supported me growing up and they only really asked/expected that I put the effort into what I wanted to do with my life - but I could do whatever I wanted, there were no preconceptions about what that might be.

[darthpunk]

My Dad - a fondness for motorbikes and a fairly laid back attitude

My Mum - the ability to spot a narcissist from 200 yards. The only woman i've ever know that could make everything about her in some way

[Jody]

My dad left when I was 3, not so much as a goodbye. Never ever heard from him again, not even a birthday card. He even fraudulently cut my brother and I from his parents wills. I think that's why I hate saying goodbye and would rather just slink off ??? I also think it's why I hate it when parents say things like "you don't understand (the love I have for my children), because you're not a parent yourself" As clearly my father (and many other judging this thread!!!) don't have the love for their child that the lucky parents get. And those parents have absolutely zero comprehension of this fact !

[gremlin]

I always say to prospective parents, 'You know when you watch a wildlife documentary and you see the mother eating the just-born offspring and you look on in horror...well wait 'til yours is a teenager and you start to understand the logic...'

[MrLongbeard]

Erm, hmmm, well, scratch's chin, you see, strokes beard....

......nope I've got nothing, compared to you lot my oldies are just regular folk who tried their best to bring me and my sister up right, as far as I'm concerned they did OK.
Money was always tight, FFS my mum was a primary school dinner lady to restart her working career after having us both, but we did alright.

No fights, no drunks, I was subject to the belt once, and dragged across a field once, both times I deserved it and I learnt to hide my nefarious ways better so never suffered corporal punishment again.

[Taipan]

The ability to start threads in the right forum!

My mum was wonderful Lady and much loved by many as we saw at the turnout for her funeral. She always had, or made, time for people and used to teach us that there are always two sides to every story. Another favourite of her was does it stand to reason before you dismiss it. Sadly my step Dad exploited her good nature, and he was a self serving, miserable arsehole who didnt deserve her, but she seemed okay with it.

My Dad was a nice man, inoffensive and lived for his hobbies. He retried early so was able to pursue them as he pleased, but the one thing he taught me was never let hobbies get in the way of your marraiage , assuming you want to keep it. If he'd realised that when he was with my Mum I might have grown up with father figure.

[JackyJoll]

My father was an utter cunt, and so am I

Edit: to be a little fair, his father was a much bigger cunt than my father was, my grandfather really was a nasty piece of work.

Hope you married a right bitch, to stop the evil bastard blood getting thinned out.

[JackyJoll]

Both my parents hated motorbikes, so obviously my brother and I both got motorbikes as soon as we could.

[Sunny]

My parents are both awesome. They're way better people than I am.
They are both incredibly intelligent in different ways, and are calm and kind, with an easy sense of humour.

I definitely got from them my interest in absolutely anything and everything.

I also got from them my terrible sense of humour, I'll laugh at pretty much anything.

A family trait is to laugh when things go wrong, so that too. Not taking ourselves too seriously is standard.

We grew up poor, existing on my dad's mechanic salary, as my mum quit work when my brother was born, so I wanted a lot of things I couldn't have.
As an opposing result, I became quite materialistic, and once I got my own money I started to buy whatever I wanted, and am only just starting to chill out a bit in that respect.

They paid off their mortgage in five years by living on my dad's salary and paying every penny of my mum's (which was significantly more) towards it. I've not been quite that diligent to put it mildly, but my last mortgage payment is next month so a bit of that rubbed off too.

They're very religious, and their church community is lovely, but religion is a hard no from me.

My mum didn't particularly want kids, despite turning out to be a great mum. So I think my similar lack of interest in kids is from her. Neither of us get gooey-eyed over babies.

My mum loves F1 and motor racing, my dad loves mechanics. Neither of them bike fans, but there's something there...

In summary, some goodness rubbed off, but they are way better members of society than I am.

[Wossname]

^^ That’s refreshing. I was beginning to think I was surrounded by a bunch of deprived orphans… - with limited male role models, which seems to be a problem these days.

[mangocrazy]

In earlier posts I skated over what was probably the elephant in the room of my childhood and youth - the fact that my parents 'got religion' in the shape of the Jehovah's Witnesses when I was about 6 or 7 years old. Prior to that Dad had been of the opinion that 'if you want to make some money, start a new religion'. This critical thinking apparently deserted him later in life...

I first noticed it when the Christmas and Birthday presents started drying up. The official party line was that 'we make it up to them during the course of the year', but I never saw a great deal of evidence of that. It also meant that we started trailing Mum and Dad as they began knocking on doors and trying (almost entirely unsuccessfully) to gain new converts. You certainly got a crash course in dealing with rejection from an early age.

It also meant that large amounts of time that we had previously regarded as leisure time was taken up with Bible studies and meetings (an hour on a Tuesday night, an hour on a Thursday night, two hours on Sunday, plus knocking on doors at weekends). You were also put through a step by step course in public speaking, where you had to devise your own little spiel on a Biblical topic of someone's choosing, and present it to the assembled congregation, after which you were critiqued on it; sometimes more harshly than others. It was all very American...

So two of the things I got from my parents were a deep and lasting mistrust of all kinds of organised religion, and an abiding suspicion of all beliefs and fads that emanated from the USA. I finally broke free in my early twenties (I really don't know why it took so long) and then got stuck into making up for lost time in sampling all the previously forbidden fruits. That bit was really quite fun - a bit like a kid being let loose in a sweet shop.

Just thought you'd like to know...

[Sunny]

My parents are both awesome. They're way better people than I am.
They are both incredibly intelligent in different ways, and are calm and kind, with an easy sense of humour.

I definitely got from them my interest in absolutely anything and everything.

I also got from them my terrible sense of humour, I'll laugh at pretty much anything.

A family trait is to laugh when things go wrong, so that too. Not taking ourselves too seriously is standard.

We grew up poor, existing on my dad's mechanic salary, as my mum quit work when my brother was born, so I wanted a lot of things I couldn't have.
As an opposing result, I became quite materialistic, and once I got my own money I started to buy whatever I wanted, and am only just starting to chill out a bit in that respect.

They paid off their mortgage in five years by living on my dad's salary and paying every penny of my mum's (which was significantly more) towards it. I've not been quite that diligent to put it mildly, but my last mortgage payment is next month so a bit of that rubbed off too.

They're very religious, and their church community is lovely, but religion is a hard no from me.

My mum didn't particularly want kids, despite turning out to be a great mum. So I think my similar lack of interest in kids is from her. Neither of us get gooey-eyed over babies.

My mum loves F1 and motor racing, my dad loves mechanics. Neither of them bike fans, but there's something there...

In summary, some goodness rubbed off, but they are way better members of society than I am.

Oh, and they apparently brought me up purposefully to be independent (which definitely worked!), and to never think I couldn't achieve anything that I put my mind to

[Buckaroo]

I said previously that I have to think about this.
Here goes.
My dad passed away unexpectedly about 14 years ago. I wrote and read his eulogy, as my other brothers couldn't. My dad was typical of his generation. Lost his father in 1941 and was in the merchant navy by the time he was almost 16. He lied about his age, as he wanted to be with his eldest brother, Charles, who essentially raised him. He was evacuated during the war to Port St Germans in Cornwall. The farmer beat him so much and so badly, the police took him to stay with Lord and Lady Elliot in the same area. He was with his much younger brother, David. They escaped one night and walked the railway line until they were caught and taken back. I mention this because my dad really didn't know what being a dad was and had some bad experience but he was amazing. He taught us boys to be men who never shied away from hard work, never harmed a woman and was respectful of others. He was like a Swiss army knife. Carpenter and furniture maker pretty much his entire life, but could turn his hand to anything. He adored my Mum and did his best for her and us boys. My kids loved him, as did all his grandchildren. Aortic aneurysm called one day and he was gone. Less than a minute they said. I still think about showing him things or telling him stuff but then remember I can't.
My mum was lovely too. Equally tough life. Evacuated to Wales and loved the family. Her father was a WW1 and WW2 soldier. He was mentally unstable, treated her terribly and as a result, she was glad to have met my dad and be gone. I 'lost' her to dementia 3 years or more ago. She's 93 this year but has no recollection of me or the family. It's odd, but I'm glad dad went first because this would have destroyed him. So my parents gave me tons of great things and I think I've passed them on.

I used to teach a program where I asked participants to imagine being at their own funeral, surrounded by those they cared about the most. The question was. What would you like them to say about you?. What are you doing to deserve it? Write it down and remind yourself how to achieve this. I have mine written and committed to memory. I hope my kids feel the same way as I do about my Mum and Dad.